all the things you said, a naruto fanfic

a word at the start:

the story itself is shown non-chronologically, but if you read by the numbers, you can see the order in which the events took place.

i'd like to thank my best friend jiemae for helping me with this when i was stuck. she laid out a beautiful outline for me, and is one of the best writers i have ever known in my entire life.

i wrote this in the way i did to showcase fundamental aspects of itachi and sakura's characters that are often glossed over in fic. keep in mind that itachi is a very unreliable narrator.

merry christmas, alice! i hope you enjoy this :D

now, without further ado, here's…

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all the things you said

(Or: Haruno Sakura is a liar.)

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14. things you said after it was over

"It wouldn't have worked out between us, anyways," she said.

When he said nothing in response, she smiled sadly, sympathetically, like he was the only one who lost something. She smiled at him like a stranger, and he hated her then, and he loved her too.

The latter was why he had to walk away.

…

1. things you said when you were drunk

"Never thought I'd see Sasuke's precious big brother out to drink!" she said with a laugh.

He looked out from the circle of mindless sycophants who were attempting to curry favor with the esteemed Uchiha clan. He didn't know who she was, though she obviously knew him. Not as the Uchiha heir, or the Hokage candidate, or the terrifying prodigy, but rather as the one thing he took pride in: being Sasuke's brother.

It was… the most interesting thing he'd come across all night. Pink hair, green eyes. Where had he seen her before?

She laughed to herself and danced by herself, to a song it seemed only she could hear, and Itachi wondered how such a bizarre girl could look so familiar – and then it hit him.

"You're my brother's genin teammate," he said.

"That's me!"

Even while seventeen and drunk, at a party full of politicians she was the loveliest thing in the room, and it was that fact that kept him from leaving immediately. Instead, he found himself smiling.

"Tell me, what is my brother like on a team?"

Her eyes, if possible, turned a shade brighter as she launched into vivid, if a bit obsessed, retellings of some of her genin team's finer adventures. Itachi was surprised how many new stories there were to tell, how many Sasuke might have ignored sharing out of embarrassment.

Somehow, Itachi sat there listening to a drunk talk about her obvious crush far longer than he would have thought possible.

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7. things you said with no space between us

"You're amazing," she said, like it was an admission she was helpless to deny. "I think about you so much. You seem like, hah, a bit of an asshole at first. Distant and cold and hard to understand… but you really are kind."

He drew his hand up and down against the plane of her stomach in long, languid strokes. She was real and warm in his arms and he thought, profoundly, this is nice.

"Do you still think about my brother?"

He'd meant it as a joke, but it came out unexpectedly serious.

She laughed. "Well—"

…

9. things you said with too many miles between us

Itachi, please, write back. I miss you. I don't like how much time will pass before I see you again. Please.

He folded the letter, sure not to rip it or let the mud get on it. Then he tossed it in the fire at his camp.

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11. things you said when you were crying

"I'm sorry."

Her shoulders shook. He turned her around to face him, and sure enough, she was crying.

He hated it when she cried, he decided then.

She was small, strangely shrunken in his arms, and as he held her he said nothing.

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3. things you said after you kissed me

"I just wanted to try it!"

As he stared at her, unblinking, her cheeks flushed, getting darker than the color of her hair by the second.

"What about my brother?" Itachi couldn't help but ask, baffled by her actions, but most of all, by his own response. He placed a hand to his mouth and questioned the sensation that lingered.

Sakura sighed, her eyes resting on the ground, the distance between them a hard reminder. "It doesn't matter. He turned me down."

Itachi became rigid. "Don't involve me in your childish games."

Then he turned on his heel and left, ignoring the indignant cries filling the air. He was the vision of calm but it couldn't get any further than the truth.

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12. things you said that i wasn't meant to hear

"Sasuke…"

Over the festival crowd, it was she who caught his attention. Saying his brother's name. Without the honorific it somehow sounded more intimate.

He strode over to where they were standing by the goldfish catching booth. When she saw him, she smiled, like he hadn't just caught her—

"Let's go," he said. "I'm feeling tired."

That night, when they were sleeping, she turned so that her back was facing him.

…

13. things you said at the kitchen table

"I'm leaving."

Itachi took a sip of his tea. "I see," he said, and carefully set the cup down.

"I feel suffocated, and like I can't do anything, and I just can't take it."

They were words that would have had more impact if she had shouted them. As it was, she just sounded defeated.

Shouting, crying – she knew they wouldn't have an effect on him anyways.

…

4. things you said under the stars and in the grass

"It's not a game to me, y'know? I'm confused by this too."

Implying that he was confused. "Are you sure you're not just seeing me as a replacement for the brother that rejected you?"

Silence.

Itachi sighed and went to get up, questioning why he'd agreed to have a few drinks out in the training field where no one could see them. It had been cheap sake anyway. Certainly not worth the effort.

"I don't know if I am or not, but I still wanna see where this takes me. Please?"

Itachi looked at her and those eyes that peered so deeply. He had no idea what she was begging for.

This feeling seemed to be a common occurrence when he interacted with her, like he had no idea what to say or do.

"Please what?"

Her lip trembled. She turned her face away and whispered, "Please stay with me. At least a little while longer."

When she looked at him like that, how could he refuse?

…

8. things you said that i wish you hadn't

"Sasuke broke my heart a long time ago. It's kind of natural for me to think about him, from time to time, right? But it doesn't change anything of what I feel for you."

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2. things you said at one a.m.

"You're different to how I'd thought you'd be, from how Sasuke talks about you."

"What do you mean by that?" Usually when they drank together, it was just to talk about his little brother. Their conversations rarely crossed into the personal. He slid his eyes towards her and tried to count how many drinks she had to get drunk enough to say such a thing.

Sakura looked surprisingly sober.

"It's just, you're nice, is all." It might have been the lighting, or the contrast of her hair against pale cheeks, but if Itachi was a betting man, he'd say she was blushing.

"Did my brother say anything different to the fact?" Itachi was curious to know, and surprised Sasuke spoke about him to other people at all. Sasuke had grown into a secretive boy the more he'd matured.

"No. He really loves you, from what I gather. I guess I just thought you'd be scarier than you actually are."

The earnest, sincere tone was what got to him. Sakura stared up at him, green eyes seeing everything – and nothing at all.

"What I actually am," he echoed. He pulled his mouth into a smile. "Interesting way of putting it."

Sakura giggled, and turned sheepish the longer he stared at her. "Y'know, more so than being a nice guy, you're such a mystery!"

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10. things you said that made me feel like shit

"Do you care about anything? Do you even care about me?"

Itachi looked at the ground.

"Was it so hard to write back? I was worried sick, Itachi! And you returned barely alive—"

"I love you," he said. "Of course I care."

"Then why don't you talk to me," she cried out.

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5. things you said when we were the happiest we ever were

"I don't think I've ever been so happy," she whispered, still attempting to regain her breath after a round under the covers. "I don't think I've ever felt so close to another person before."

When both of them had days off from the rest of the world, it was a chance that neither would be far off from one another. There was an even greater chance that they would be in bed, doing as tender lovers would do in the quiet spaces of midmorning, with the brazen sun peeking in through the windows.

Out of the both of them, Sakura was the most eloquent in what she had to say.

Itachi watched her and smiled. "I love you."

Her breath caught and he wondered if his clumsy attempt at expressing himself was good enough. From the look in her vibrant eyes and the tears that welled up, the surprise in her features, and the slow smile that rolled onto her lips, it was the right thing to say.

The only thing he could have.

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6. things you said when we were on top of the world

"Itachi!"

She laughed. And, for once, he joined in. He looked at her. No one had ever said his name like that – joyful, brighter than the sun itself, flung to the world like it was a declaration of love on its own.

"I hope we stay like this forever," she said, and interlaced his fingers with hers.

"I love you," he said.

She pulled him into a kiss, and fireworks lit up the sky.

…

15. things you didn't say at all

"I love you too."