Slipped Away

Disclaimer: None of it's mine.

Centric Character(s): Lily Evans (Potter) & Severus Snape.

Pairing(s): Lily/Sev & Lily/James.

Summary: Severus remembers the day Lily slipped away… Little ficlet inspired by Avril Lavigne's song Slipped Away.

*****

I miss you

I miss you so bad

I don t forget you

Oh it's so sad

I hope you can hear me

I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away

Was the day I found it won't be the same…

I didn't get to kiss you goodbye on the hand

I wish that I could see you again…

The day was as clear as any in Severus' memory. It had been cold that day; on the cusp of November, the wind was blowing harshly, cutting into any exposed skin. The leaves had all but deserted the trees and Godric's Hollow had a battering of rain descending on it.

It had started the same as any other day for Severus. He continued to work with the Dark Lord, despite be quite aware of his plans, not for his own gain, but for Dumbledore. The elderly wizard knew what he was doing; he would save Lily… so Severus thought.

The last time Severus had seen Lily's face had been eight months after Harry's birth. He had been in Diagon Alley, heading towards Knockturn to get some 'supplies' when he had seen the sun reflected off her hair.

She looked as beautiful as the day he had last seen her, the year before, heavily pregnant with the son she now carried in her arms. He stood beside her, making faces at Harry while placing his hand on the small of his wife's back.

"I can carry him , if you want," James offered, holding his arms out for his son. Harry's face lit up with a smile and his pudgy fists clapped together, in supposed happiness.

Lily rolled her eyes as James smirked. He was clearly very proud of the fact that his son preferred to be held by him and Lily was clearly very unamused by his clear show of ego. Nothing had changed there- it had been the same at Hogwarts… Until she decided to marry him, of course.

That decision of Lily's had never left Severus alone. Neither had his outburst of 'mudblood!' that sunny day in 5th year.

Sev didn't realise he had in fact been rooted to the spot as he watched the young family go about their shopping in Diagon Alley, still unaware of the plot to take their lives. As he had watched, James Potter had caught sight of him and growled lowly, turning Lily's attention towards her childhood best friend.

Immediately she lost the playful smile that had been flittered across her features, her eyes dropping to her feet as she quickly pulled her son out of her husband's arms. James released Lily's hand that he didn't realise he had been holding and marched with a clear purpose towards the man in front of him.

"What do you want, you greasy haired git?" James snapped, grabbing the front of Severus' robes and slamming his back into the brick wall behind him. The offending wall caused a worrying sound from Severus' back, but he ignored the pain from the onset, staring James down.

"I want to talk to Lily," he declared sounding far braver than he felt as James whipped out his wand and pressed it to the underside of his chin. Lily stepped forward and, cradling Harry with one arm, tried to pull her husband off with the other.

"James! James, come on! There are people staring James- we don't need a scene."

James Potter refused to listen to his young wife and got dangerously close to Severus' face, their noses nearly touching.

"Don't you dare ever come near my wife or son again. If you do…" James paused while Lily continued to fight with him, pulling at the sleeve of his jumper. "I'll kill you," he concluded in a low hiss.

Severus' eyes had never once left James'. He could have reached down and grabbed his own wand, but he couldn't. He knew how much Potter meant to Lily; he could never hurt her like that. I've hurt her enough already.

Lily finally succeeded in pulling her husband away from Severus, catching his eye as she went. Severus opened his mouth briefly, hoping to say all the things he'd always wanted to tell her, but Lily shook her head.

"Goodbye Sev."

As he watched her stride away with her husband and son, Severus took in every inch of her. Her billowing red hair, her gorgeously toned body… Then she turned, for one brief moment with what was almost a tiny smile playing on her lips. Severus took a mental picture of the eyes he loved so much.

*****

On the eve of October 31st Lily looked far different than that day. Apparently, the time she had to spend in hiding had done her no good at all. She was a lot thinner than she had been that day in Diagon Alley and her hair looked like it hadn't been brushed for several days. Her body lay on the ground, as though it were a piece of dirt simply discarded. Her eyes were wide and showed the clear terror of the situation she, her husband, and her small son had just faced. But in them was something else… Contentment perhaps? Indeed, it seemed that Lily Evans (Severus could never stand to call her his name) was at peace with her fate. She would be with her husband and her son would be saved.

When Severus found her body in Godric's Hollow, he felt a band constricting around his chest. It got tighter and tighter the longer he looked at her until he could not breathe. Looking away and blinking back the tears threatening to flow, Severus caught sight of the small boy in the crib, watching him with a clear curiosity.

From the look of the boy's face, he had been crying recently, and judging by the oddly shaped cut on his forehead, he was in pain. Yet, his eyes continued to follow Severus intently. Lily's eyes.

When he thought he had gathered himself, Severus turned away from the boy and back to Lily. The sobs racketed from his body before he could stop them; perhaps he hadn't gathered himself. He knelt beside her and pulled her body into him, hugging it. In that hug, he told her body everything his mouth had never been able to say.

"I'm so sorry, Lily," he sobbed into her hair. "I'm so sorry I let this happen."

His mind raced with more thoughts and emotions than Severus had thought possible. Had it been up to him, he would have stayed with Lily's body until he had withered and died himself, leaving the earth while holding the woman he had loved for so long.

*****

Dumbledore had other ideas, of course. Severus fled to him when the Aurors began to show up, not wanting to give any indication he had been there.

"Help me protect Lily's son."

Severus nearly did a double take. His son.

"Dumbledore, I- I can't."

"No, you do not wish to," he argued. "If you wish to make up for what you have done, you will help me."

Severus' mind went back to the little boy standing in the crib. He looked so much like Potter. But with Lily's eyes… his short nod was enough for Albus.

*****

Severus put that clear memory in with the others for the boy hovering over him. As the snake bite continued to spread venom through his body, Sev drew out all the things he knew Harry had to see.

The teenager could barely stand to look at him, but with as much force as the nearly dead man could muster, he barked out, "Look at me."

Harry complied for a moment and Severus' eyes locked with his. Locked with Lily's eyes. The eyes he loved so much. It was now that Severus realised why Lily's eyes were so contented moments before her death.

With one last shuddering breath, Severus slipped away from the world of living, his eyes still wide open, staring into Harry's. The boy realised he was now dead and moved away minutely. He couldn't seem to break the connection to his face, though. His eyes…

Indeed, Severus Snape was very contented the day he left the Earth. He was once again with Lily Evans.