A/N: This is meant entirely for comedic purposes. Don't yell at me.

Storm Cage

Timothy was a new guard at the high security prison. He'd been working there for about a month now, and he felt he had settled into his routine quite nicely. He was friends with some of the blokes there, and he had finally figured out how to make a good cup of tea in the office's machine.

So it was to his great surprise when as he was looking over the electronic display of cells, he noticed one of the door lights was red. The door was open.

A prisoner was escaping.

Quickly he picked up one of the communication devices on the desk.

"Code Red! We have a prisoner escaping! Code Red!" He called hurriedly. His fingers already tapped away at the computer, sending command signals and trying to halt the prisoner's progress.

There was a long pause before any of the other guards responded.

"You're the new chap, right?" A deep, gruff voice asked.

"Yeah? What does that- Didn't you hear me?! Code Red!"

"Yeah, yeah, we know. Look, what's the prisoner's name?"

Scanning over the information, Timothy rapidly found the answer.

"River Song," he declared clearly.

There was another long pause.

"Oh, her. Yeah, don't worry about that, mate." Timothy startled.

"What?! But she's escaping! We have to-"

"Listen, Timmy, right? There's not much we can do."

"We're the guards! We have to be able to do something-"

"It's just her husband."

"I don't care! This is a prison! He can't just take her out whenever he feels like!"

"Tim, you're really not- Just ignore it. She'll be back eventually."

"That's not how this works!"

"I know, I know. New chaps always get real mad about it. You'll get used to it."

"I should hope not! She can't just come and go as she pleases!"

Irritably, Timothy put the communicator down and stood up. He made his way into the prison, down the hallways, and eventually to Mrs. Song's cell. He stood directly in front of the open door, tapping his foot, and waited.

Much later that evening, Timothy jerked awake to a loud whooshing sound that flooded the corridor. A tall, blue police box appeared in front of him, and he dazedly rubbed his eyes.

This couldn't be real, could it?

The prisoner, River Song, stepped out with a man who Timothy assumed to be her husband. They were laughing about something, but they quieted when they noticed him standing there.

"New to the job, huh?"

A/N: QUESTION OF THE UPDATE: What job would you love to have in the Doctor Who Universe?