HURT AND DEPPRESSION.
NEAR'S P.O.V.
I lay on the bed that was once shared with my lover. Now Matt has found a new love and abandoned me, breaking the promise that he made saying he would stay with me forever. I admit I was suicidal till I met Matt and feel in love with him. I sigh and think about how I would never feel his lips pressed to my lips again and how he would never touch me like he used to. I love you Matt but I'm so lost now…
I continue on like usual but I let myself become more distant and emotionless than before. I only know the feelings of hurt and loneliness now and nothing else… Nothing….Is that what I am? Nothing? I wish I knew but my mind hasn't really been working properly since that day Matt left me and broke our promises that we made.
This pain inside me is something I've never known before and I don't know how to deal with it. What am I to do with this hurt inside of me?... Does Matt know I feel hurt and lost? Can he tell? I don't think he would care if he knew… Would he? I've got to stop thinking my head hurts from it and I still have to deal with it one way or another.
I turn to my nightstand opening the drawer. There was a gun and a knife that Mello gave me for emergencies after I stopped trying to kill myself. I take the gun out and stared at it in my hands. How useless am I? My mother and father thought I was useless. I turn the gun towards me and a tear falls down my cheek.
More tears fall and I want to pull the trigger and end it here and now but I find myself hesitating. Do I want to do this? Maybe not but then again… I am nothing…I am useless… I start to pull the trigger and I try not to hold back. "GOODBYE MATT." That was what I screamed before I pulled the trigger and killed myself. I'm nothing and I will live in nothing but darkness forever.
END.