Title: Something More
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: Jake/Clare
Summary: It was supposed to be casual. Now Jake wants more. Misunderstandings swirl as Clare becomes stuck between fear and want.
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or the characters and have not made any profit from this writing. The only thing I own is the plot and original characters of my own creation.
Author's Note: This doesn't follow the actual series. First attempt. Constructive feedback will be highly appreciated.
PART 1 of 2: Clare
Six hours ago it seemed the world had shifted. At least someone's world did.
Six hours ago Clare broke up with her boyfriend of five months over two cartons of ramen noodles and a really bad chick flick.
Six hours later she could still remember the disbelief in his eyes, the way he almost seemed to have forgotten his hunger all together, and only stared at her.
Not that she could blame him. She did sort of blurt it out. By the time she'd realized it, the words were out and hanging in the air like a dark cloud. She couldn't remember what he might have said afterwards, or what she might have said in response. All she knew was that he had left, her forgotten noodles had gotten cold, and she felt the unbearable weight of loneliness.
On Monday it would be out. Not that they were the "it" couple or anything close to that level. They were barely a blimp on the popular crowd's radar. Their friends would notice though that they weren't eating together, no "borrowing" each other for a quick make out session in an abandon classroom, no more none destination joyrides in his red pickup.
And then there would come the questions.
Why did you break up? What's going on between the two of you?
It wasn't like Clare feared Jake would bad mouth her. He wasn't like some guys. Jake was what her mom called a "chivalrous gentleman". Jake would find some way to answer the questions simply and then somehow redirect the conversation successfully without revealing much.
But having a friend like Alli, it wasn't exactly easy to redirect her when she wanted details. For as long as Clare knew Alli she had a way about her that, even if you weren't friends, made you feel so at ease and almost compelled to confide in her about everything. Keeping a secret of any kind would always remain a challenge.
"This will be our last party as juniors." Alli's voice shook Clare from her depressing thoughts.
Judging from Alli's expecting look, Clare apparently had missed a whole conversation. "Yeah."
Instead of appeasing Alli, it seemed to do the exact opposite. "Clare you okay?" She frowned.
"Yep I'm fine. Never been better." Clare fought her facial muscles to keep the bright smile on her face long enough to convince Alli.
"If you're not feeling up to it, we don't have to go." Jenna was driving her brother's old green Nissian and peered at Clare through the rearview mirror.
While at first it was difficult to even talk to Jenna since she was a part of the reason for her breakup with KC and they never really spoke much after that, it was so far into the past and Clare had moved on beyond that.
But they had gone slow. Talking at lunch occasionally. Greeting each other in the hallways. A few texts. And then one outing with Alli turned into three and soon they had become friends over the course of several months. While they weren't close like she was with Alli, it was a friendship Clare wanted.
"No. I'm great. Better than great." Jenna was sometimes just as bad at probing. "I think it was something I ate that didn't agree with me right now."
"I know the feeling. When I was pregnant..." Jenna suddenly became quiet after that.
Alli and Clare shared a look.
Even though Tyson was in a new home with a great family for several months now, Jenna still missed him but still stood by her decision even in her grief. She and KC both treasured every picture or Skype moment they could where Tyson was concerned. However whenever she spoke of him, it was difficult at times not to fall into a lapse of silence as she thought of her son.
"So...anyone else wandering if any celebrities will show?" Alli suddenly asked while somehow managing to apply some more eyeliner with such precision despite the bumpy road.
Jenna smiled gratefully at Alli as she parks the car. "Unlikely since it's a party for high school kids."
"It's Fiona's big summer bash though." Alli says as the three closed the creaking car doors. "Sav spent an hour talking about some of the celbs he saw. Of course most of them are musicians."
There were about twenty cars parked along the road, a few more extravagant looking ones in the long spiraled driveway. Fiona's mom recently brought a remodeled Victorian house that seemed to have its own special glow and was surrounded with miles of lush green grass and large oaks trees.
The trio could hear music blaring from what would be two blocks away, the chatter of the guests that lingered on the large veranda, and a few more cars pulling up from behind.
A wave of longing and fear gripped Clare as they walked up the steps. Jake would be there. She knew because they spoke about the party a week ago.
Clare shook her head. It wasn't as if it was a bad breakup like it was with Eli. Sure it would be awkward for a while, but so be it. The break up was for the best. It wasn't as if it was suddenly a random decision. She had been thinking about it for weeks after all, going back and forth, waiting for that "perfect moment" that never came to tell him.
Alli stood by the doorway and looked as if she suddenly saw heaven. At least if going by how her eyes that just about sparkled. It probably sealed the deal that her favorite song was now playing.
"Okay. Now I'm officially torn between dancing and getting something to eat."
Jenna grinned. "I don't know about you but I'm starved."
"Me too." Clare spoke up, looking around for any traces of Jake even though it was impossible with such a large crowd.
"There's Jake!" Alli pointed.
Jake was sitting on the staircase talking to KC of all people, looking just as handsome as ever, so relaxed and laidback in a green plaid shirt and dark jeans. He didn't seem to notice them yet.
And of course nothing would be that simple. Jake just had to be a few feet from where the food and sodas were kept. Unaware of the whole breakup thing, Jenna and Alli started to walk towards the large table spread and Clare felt herself panicking.
Abort! Abort!
She was not ready.
"On second thought I'm kind of thirsty." Clare almost grimaced. Why was she such a coward?
"It looks like Fiona has every type of soda known to man." Alli's phone rings then, signally that Dave somehow managed to get out of punishment early and just arrived.
"I was thinking maybe some punch." Clare pointed to the kitchen which seemed to be where some people were getting their drinks.
"Oh." Jenna replies and from the way she bit her lip there was a lot more she wanted to say but for whatever reason held back. "Well grab me some too, okay? I'll get you a plate while you're gone."
"Yeah. Thanks." Clare spun around and nearly collided with two partygoers in her haste.
The kitchen, if you even wanted to call it that name alone, was huge and somewhat crowded with chattering guests. Clare swore she could fit another house in there and no one would be the wiser.
There weren't any more filled pitchers aside from the half filled ice tea and something that looked like an experiment with various sodas gone wrong. There were juice packages on the side, apparently in case of emergencies. And considering Clare planned on playing the avoidance game for at least the weekend this was indeed an emergency.
Clare filled the pitcher of cold water and tore the packet open. She couldn't remember the last time she made juice like this.
"You always make the best lemonade, Clare bear."
Clare's hands suddenly shook and some of the powder fell off to the side onto the granite counter.
Of course. How could she have forgotten? The last time had been before her parents had to tell her about the divorce.
After that Clare never really had the urge for the sour-sweet drink after learning her dad was a cheater, her mom was a housewife "sex goddess" to her new boyfriend, and watching the bitterness between her parents grow throughout the divorce proceedings.
Making lemonade for barbecues with her dad seemed like such a distant memory even though it was just a few months ago.
"You're making it wrong."
Clare's quick reflexes saved her from dropping the pitcher on the floor, but didn't stop some of the water that sloughed out. She steadied herself and tried to calm her racing heart with slow, even breaths.
Well damn. Wasn't this just her luck. Couldn't the gods cut her one ounce of slack for one day?
Because it was nothing short of divine intervention that the one person in the whole world she planned on avoiding all night was suddenly behind her and close enough that she could almost feel his heat radiating off of him, could smell that faint cologne that lingered on his skin.
"W-What are you talking about?" Since they were kids Jake always seemed to make her stutter at times especially when, like now, she felt like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
"The water goes in second." Jake took the spoon Clare had been planning on using to stir and scooped some of the liquid from the pitcher for a quick sip. He made a comical face, but Clare stopped herself from laughing. "See? Sour."
Clare frowned. "There's no sugar in it. I didn't even get to stir it." Jake wiggled the spoon at her, indicating he was offering it back. "Uh no. You can keep that."
"Now you're afraid of my germs." He smiled teasingly at her.
Clare coughed and looked away, willing herself not to blush even though she could feel her cheeks becoming hot and most likely very red. "I'm just going to add some sugar in it and..."
Jake easily grabbed the large sugar bowl and adds a few spoonfuls, not bothering to keep count. He didn't believe in following instructions for a lot of things and leaned towards relying on trial and error. He takes a plastic spoon by the juice packets, stirs the contents, and then pours some into a clean glass from the cupboard.
Jake chugged half a glass and seemed satisfied with the outcome. He then reached for one of the glasses that was off to the side but before he touch one Clare's right hand suddenly reached out and stopped him.
"I uh no sense in wasting another cup, right?"
It wasn't an unusual offer by all accounts. They had shared utensils a few times in the past like when offering each other a taste of their food or a drink to see if the other liked it or not. Shared drinks occurred more often since Jake loved trying to always make the perfect blend.
Jake shrugged and offered her the half filled cup. He watched as she took a swallow, then another, waiting for approval. The way he was looking at her, that heated stare, without saying a word made her entire body feel ten times warmer like it was somehow a summery day inside.
She held onto the glass for dear life and cleared her throat. "It's uh really good."
Jake grinned and that feeling of longing slowly began to find its way back inside Clare.
There was so much Clare wanted to say, so much she wanted to hear him say, but she couldn't open her mouth and found herself simply captivated by his green eyes.
Had they been standing there for only a few seconds? A minute maybe?
Clare ached to know what Jake was feeling, what he was thinking.
For so long Jake had always been a part of her life in some way or form, always in the back of her mind. He was once the scrawny little boy that threw frogs at her to now being the one guy that always came to her rescue. He had been the right guy by all standards and she let him go.
"Say something," Clare silently pleaded to him, wondering if he would tell her he wasn't as effected by this relationship, which really wasn't a relationship to begin with. They'd slapped the labels of "boyfriend and girlfriend" on after a few assumptions to avoid the questions.
Then after the longest pause, Jake stepped a bit closer and Clare felt herself backing away with each step. Before long he had her trapped between the counter and his large frame, the pitcher on the counter now forgotten. His green eyes were searching hers, his jaw clenched one second and then unclenched the next.
"Clare-"
Suddenly a pair of tan hands reach in between them, breaking the silent moment, and snagged the pitcher from the counter. Those hands belonged to some shaggy haired green eyed teen with a goatee and a lopsided grin. "Ah Cool. I thought no one would make more. Thanks man."
And as quickly and as suddenly as he had appeared, the boy was gone.
Clare avoided Jake's eyes, forcing herself to think more rationally. "I uh should probably go. Jenna's waiting."
And like a lovesick coward Clare Edwards fled, making sure not to give Jake the time to call or catch her and used the large crowd of vastly tall people to her advantage. Thankfully it didn't take her long to spot Jenna.
"Where have you been?" Jenna asked. "I thought you got lost - which actually happened to me."
"I uh..." Her mind became a jumbled mess in an attempt to come up with an easy little lie, which would've been really simple had she not been with Jake a few seconds ago.
Jenna handed her a small plate with various appetizers but then frowned. "So where are the drinks?"
At that moment Alli appeared beside them, as if sensing Clare's plight, and for a split second Clare thought she was saved. "You wouldn't believe the line to the bathroom. Anyways, did Jake find you?"
Clare blinked. "Jake?"
She raised her right eyebrow. "Yeah. Jake. Jake Martin. You know. Your boyfriend? The flirtatious knight in shining armor. The lover of poultry. That Jake."
"Oh. I uh didn't see him."
"Really? I told him you were in there." Alli said, though she was wondering why Clare seemed so disinterested and Jake had appeared hesitate by the staircase.
"It's a big place. He might have gotten lost or something. I'm sure he's fine."
"Hey," Alli touched Clare's shoulder. "Is everything all right between the two of you?"
"Never better." Clare replied, her fake smile back in place and feeling even more guilty since she rarely kept anything from Alli. "I love these finger sandwiches."
Alli said nothing but Clare knew it was only a matter of time before Alli would have confirmation about whatever she may be suspecting. For as long as Clare could remember, Alli hated being kept out of the loop. Heck, she didn't really like real surprise parties even if they were for her.
If Alli felt someone was hiding something, she was like a shark and would circle around the subject for a while until it came time to go in for the kill. Clare sensed that moment approaching fast.
"What is her deal?" Jenna was sneering at Marisol, who had somehow squeezed herself in between KC and Jake on top of the staircase. "Isn't she dating that quarterback? It's like no guy is safe anymore."
"Want me to hold her down?" Alli joked as they watched the other girl smile flirtatious at Jake.
Jenna scoffed. "More like hold me back."
Marisol was a thorn in Jenna's side ever since she felt that unsettling feeling that something was going on between her and her ex. Marisol dated KC for only a week before breaking up with him, not that Jenna cared all that much by then. KC didn't seem all that upset either. But what annoyed Jenna the most was that Marisol always gave her that triumph, arrogant look whenever they crossed paths, as if she somehow won this big unknown battle that Jenna was still unaware of.
Marisol's attention was solely on Jake, her apparent next target. Instead of leaving the well known boyfriend stealer in the wind however, Jake was smiling and talking to her as if they were longtime friends.
Clare tore her eyes away when Marisol began brushing aside the brown forelocks from Jake's face as if she were his girlfriend and not some girl on her way to getting completely wasted. Clare tried to convince herself that Jake was being a good sport by not telling her off, which wouldn't be a 'Jake thing' to do, but it wasn't like he was immune to pretty girls either.
Clare kept mentally chanting, "Not my boyfriend. He can do whatever he wants" over and over in her head, but it didn't stop the almost primitive urge to storm over there, yank him away from Marisol and kiss the living daylights out of him.
But she wouldn't, at least not without a few beers in her system, least she come off like some horny freak. It was her decision why they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore, not Jake's. A decision that left her uncertain what they were now, if anything.
"You better get your boyfriend Clare." Alli teased.
It was now or never.
"Actually, we broke up." Clare blurted out before she could stop herself. "Who wants some more dip?"