ALTERNATE SCENES:

Third Form at St Clare's: Janet talks to Mamzelle about Carlotta

Mamzelle asked 'What is wrong, ma chere? You look very…down in the face.' Janet looked up at her, but without even the ghost of a grin anymore. 'You mean down in the mouth, Mamzelle'. She then sharply intook breath, sounding as if she were about to cry.

Mamzelle walked over to her slowly, her face etched with concern, where Janet's was etched with the effort of not letting herself go. 'What is it, ma chere Janet? What is the matter?'

Poor Janet's voice trembled as she spoke 'It's…Carlotta.'

Mamzelle's face was sombre. 'Yes, I have heard of the poor little Carlotta.' She peered at Janet's face and, after a long pause, said softly, still looking into Janet's flickering eyes 'Her and Fern. Truly, jealousy is a most terrible thing.'

Yes, Janet thought. Janet looked up into Mamzelle's eyes, and saw the concern and care she was receiving and didn't deserve. Very much unlike her, she had to look away, her face ghostly white, her chin trembling, her eyes moist, her heart and mind flooding with emotion. The knowing and caring look Mamzelle was giving her broke down the feeble wall she had tried to build around her emotion, and they came crashing down, as Janet put her head on her hands and tried to intake sobs. It didn't work – as she was about to try and leave the room, she let out a sob. It was too late. Mamzelle went across and locked the door, so they were not disturbed, and then sat beside the girl and comforted her, for Mamzelle knew this was probably the first time in her entire life she had been this upset. She knew very well how unlike Janet this was, and what it meant.

'Why did such a statement affect you in such this way, ma chere?'

'Because…because…Carlotta has not just had one cruel, cold hearted, jealous girl after her – but…two! Fern…and…and…' and she dissolved into more tears, more than she had ever let fall in her entire life, all at once.

'Oh, Janet!' Mamzelle was speechless, completely speechless. After a while, she formed the words, and asked 'But…why, Janet?'

'We were, naturally, as a form, discussing who was to be head of the form.' Janet looked bravely into Mamzelle's eyes. 'I said that it would probably be Hillary again, for she was so marvellous, but Hillary said she knew it was to be someone else this turn and didn't mind stepping down and giving someone else the responsibility. She then said that maybe I could be head girl. I laughed, and said that I play too many jokes, but she pointed out I'm strong and a born leader…and that night, I thought about how me, Doris and Hillary have been here the longest in our form, and Hillary had had her turn, and Doris…the class clown…would run a mile if the responsibility came to her. So I accidentally started to think I was the obvious choice, and then, when Carlotta became head girl, I thought it was just because I played my tricks, and…oh! That it wasn't fair, especially as Carlotta isn't perfect either. And…and…for the first time in my life, I was so…so…jealous of her, I couldn't bear it, and I let it take grip of me!'

Mamzelle listened to Janet's story, and understood. She was very surprised, but understood why it had happened. 'My chere…my chere, you are so, so brave to have told me this, so very brave. I would not have expected it of you – no-one would have done – but it happens to everyone. Everyone becomes jealous of someone at one point in our lives, and it is often not couragable…'

'Conquerable, you mean?'

'…, and' Mamzelle continued, ignoring Janet's correction 'and especially someone as young as you, ma chere! You are young, and I do not know anyone who, in that place, would not have been jealous. Besides, ma chere, all you have to do is wait till next term.'

'Whatever do you mean, Mamzelle?' said Janet, looking incredibly stunned.

'Oh, la la! I have let the cat out of its sack and among the sparrows!'

'You mean, let the cat out of the bag and…oh, never mind, Mamzelle. But what do you mean?'

'Janet, you must promise not to tell anyone I told you this, but…you are to be head girl next term' and she then explained how they could not decide between her and Carlotta, so they decided for Carlotta one term and Janet the next.

'Oh…my…' Janet ran her fingers through her hair as she realize all her spite and jealousy had been for no reason whatsoever. She felt DREADFUL.

Mamzelle saw the anxious look on her face 'It's not what you think. How were you ever to know? If I were you I would go to see the poor Carlotta, my chere.' She then asked her 'Are you alright now, ma chere Janet?'

Janet smiled, more grateful than she had ever been in her life. 'Oui!' She grinned, looking more like herself than she had in days. She intook breath, and asked for permission to see Carlotta, with a note Mamzelle had given her which said it was urgent for Janet to see her. Janet was, naturally, allowed to go. She shut her eyes for a few seconds, and then walked to see Carlotta.