Piper's Pain
Disclaimer: I don't own charmed. Never have, never will.
Summery: Piper came home from the hospital only to find out that future Chris is dead. This is a story about her immediate reaction and grief.
A/N: I was really annoyed with the beginning of the seventh season because it seemed as though Leo was the only one who was grieving for future Chris. So, that's where I came up with the idea for this fanfic. I might decide to do similar stories only with Phoebe, Paige's and Leo's reactions but I haven't decided yet.
Piper sat on her bed and continued staring at the wall. She had been up for some time now. Piper had arrived home from the hospital earlier today, with her beautiful new baby in tow, only to learn that the older version of her beautiful baby had died. She had immediately handed Chris off to Leo and fled to the room, where she had stayed the whole day. Her sisters and Leo had tried to talk to her, to get her to come out, but she ignored them just as steadily as she ignored the growing darkness around her.
It was reaching midnight and her room was pitch black. Still, Piper didn't move. She sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the wall opposite her bed, and ignored the stiffness of her face. She had cried, Goddess, Piper had cried so hard that she was positive she would never stop. Loud wails would sporadically dislodge themselves from her throat as she choked on the infailable sadness that seemed to have filled her.
There was this... hole in her heart. No, scratch that, it wasn't a hole. At least, had there been a hole, then she would feel nothing. No, the thing inside of her was much worse then a hole. It was a wound. A large, gaping, open wound. It was as though someone had taken an athame to her instead of to her son. Piper would have preferred it that way.
When Prue had died, Piper had felt sadness unlike anything she had ever experienced before in her lifetime. With that sadness she was also possible that she could never (nor did she want to) feel that horrible again. It had been a mixture of pain, grief, anger and guilt. She had felt guilty because Leo had been able to heal her and not Prue. But she could conclude that it wasn't really her fault and, in her darkest hours, she could even pass the guilt onto Leo; and he took it silently. The anger had been at Prue. For abandoning her and Phoebe. For leaving them alone to continue fighting without her; even though she was the strongest. For forcing Piper to pick up the role of headwitch, when all she wanted to do was drop dead and join her sister.
What she felt over Chris was different though. The guilt that she felt was no longer survivor's guilt. There was no one else to pass blame onto. It was solely Piper. She had left Wyatt in Gideon's care. She had trusted that foul, disgusting, bastard with her precious baby. She should have known. Piper is a mother, dammit, and it is her job to know these things. What ever happened to that maternal instinct shit that she was always hearing about...?
The anger was directed inwardly as well. She couldn't blame Chris for dying; it wasn't his fault. He was just being the brave, beautiful man, that Piper had raised him to be and she couldn't be prouder of him. But Piper did blame herself. How had she let things get so horrible in the future, that Chris had to come back here? How did she allow her eldest child to become an evil overlord when he was supposed to represent all things good? How could she have left her beautiful boys just like Prue left her...
These thoughts ran rampant through Pipers head and she began slowly rocking back and forth, trying to soothe herself. It was useless of course; she had already known it would be. More tears began making there way down her face, in a mocking caress.
Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of light from the middle of Pipers room. She dimly realized that it was orbs and, a moment later, Leo had formed.
"Piper." He said, barely a hint of a tremor in his voice. Piper wanted to blame him again. She wanted to blame him for what Gideon did to her baby. But she couldn't. She knew she couldn't. Footsteps foretold Leo's journey as he walked across the room and flipped on the light switch.
Leo nearly gasped out loud as he turned to look at Piper properly, but he refrained from doing so but only barely. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, staring into space, slowly rocking back and forth. Her eyes were glassy as more tears slowly glided down her cheeks. Speaking of, they were both red and puffy, as were her eyes. Obviously dried tracks streaked her face and her eyes were eerily bloodshot.
"Why?" Piper finally croaked after nearly ten minuets of silence. She refused to look at Leo. She couldn't look at him. If she did, if she saw the pain and the truth in his eyes, it would only hurt more. And that would destroy her. She knew it.
Leo sighed deeply and crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive manor. "He thought that Wyatt was too powerful." Leo explained simply, his tone deeply bitter.
"No." Piper murmured, shaking her head slightly. "I meant, why Chris?" She reiterated, her eyes shinning with fresh tears.
"What do you mean?" Leo asked gently, his brows furrowing in confusion.
A rage that Piper had never felt before, even those times she had been turned evil, suddenly possessed her. Piper flung her body of off the bed, grabbed the lamp off of her side table and heaved it at the wall she had been staring at as hard as she could. Leo flinched but remained silent. "WHY?" Piper bellowed, her face growing redder by the second. "AFTER ALL THE OBSTACLES HE HAD TO OVERCOME, CHRIS STILL MADE IT HERE." Piper screamed, grabbing objects at random and hurling them around the room, no longer caring what she broke. It didn't matter anymore; these materials didn't matter anymore because her baby was gone. It didn't matter anymore what she broke because the most important things were already broken; her baby and her heart.
"Piper-" Leo cautiously interrupted, but he quickly ducked the picture frame aimed at his head and remained silent.
"THEN ALL THE SHIT HE HAD TO DEAL WITH WHEN HE GOT HERE!" Piper shouted as loud as she could. She wanted everyone to hear her. She wanted fate itself, destiny, to hear her displeasure with them. Suddenly, Piper's door opened and both of her sisters walked in, both looking tired and concerned.
"Piper, sweetie-" Phoebe began, edging forward. However, she was pulled down by her little sister to avoid more of Piper's flying debris so she wisely stayed silent as well.
"DEMONS!" Piper yelled, punching the wall in front of her so hard that the plaster cracked. "AN EVIL BROTHER WHO TOOK OVER THE WORLD!" She screamed as loud as she could; practically forcing her lungs from her body. "HE OVERCAME EVERYTHING! HE MADE IT OUT ON TOP!" Piper was mad, deranged, furious. She couldn't see anymore. White dots appeared around the blackness that had suddenly engulfed her vision as Piper continued punching the wall in front of her furiously. "THEN HE'S KILLED BY AN ELDER!" She continued, clearly enraged as this was her loudest proclamation yet. She began kicking the wall as well as punching it. "ITS-" Kick, "NOT-" Punch, "FAIR!" Piper attacked the wall with all she had. She punched, kicked, spat and body slammed it until she was sure that the wall had paid dearly for it's actions against her baby.
"He gave up everything." Piper continued. Her voice echoed morbidly around her room in the wake of her screams. "He sacrificed everything." Piper, feeling suddenly exhausted, leaned against the wall that she had just pummeled. "He was the best man I had ever known. My baby." Piper whimpered, her voice cracking as pain laced it's way through her again. "He deserves to see the future he created more then anyone."
"My baby." Piper whispered, her eyes watering over with tears as she buried her face in her hands. Piper's entire body shook with sobbs and her family watched, heartbroken, as she slowly curled into a fetal position on the ground. "I-I-I never g-got to s-s-say goodbye!" Piper exclaimed, gripping her hair in her hands as though about to tear it out. "I never told him-" She took a long shuddering breath, "How much he meant to me. H-how much everything he did for us meant to me- to us." She continued, her voice rough and hard but simultaneously broken.
"He'll never know... how much I loved him." Piper continued, her voice miserably hopeless.
"That's not true." Leo declared, running over to Piper and cradling her head in his hands. His cheeks were stained with tears as well and he looked ready to collapse but he continued. "He loved you with all his heart Piper; he told me so himself. And he knew that you loved him. He told me to tell you that he loves you." Leo lied, comforting Piper the best way he knew how.
Piper's body shook as she stared at Leo with wide eyes. A moment later, with a loud wail, she fell into his arms and began the excruciating healing process.