A/N: Hi guys! I like this song a lot, and it kind of reminds of the Doctor and River a little bit. So I decided I would take a little while to write this! I'll get back to Time and Again right away, though. This is my second songfic, so I hope you like it! It's written in the Doctor's POV, earlier on but not too early in his timestream. Probably before or possibly even during TWORS. Whichever way you look at it, it fits. The song is First Time by Lifehouse. Enjoy!: )
We're both looking for something we've been afraid to find. I avoided it for the longest while because I was scared, but it was the hardest thing in the world. It's easier to be broken; it's easier to just hide than it is to admit to this. No matter how fast I ran, love caught up to me. River's love, and, more so, my love of River.
I'm looking at her, holding my breath, and for once in my life I'm scared to death. Which is very unDoctor-like. It takes a lot to scare me, but love… Love is utterly terrifying. But I'm going to take a chance and let her inside. I wasn't sure why at first, but then I realized: I'm feeling alive all over again- no more pain, no more hurt. The feeling is as deep as the sky, as though it's under my skin. I attempted to explain this to River, to show her my feelings.
"It's like being in love," she says, putting a name to my emotions. "For the first time."
Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm feeling right where I belong, which is with her tonight.
The world that I see inside her is waiting to come to life. She wants someone who understands everything about her, someone who loves her more than anything. And I can be that someone. I already am that someone. That's reality in her eyes, but for me it still hasn't happened yet. Not all of it, anyway. My dreams are her reality.
When I'm looking at her, holding my breath, for once in my life I'm properly scared to death. I'm taking a chance by letting her inside.
I'm feeling alive all over again, and I feel right where I belong with her. Like being in love for the first time. There have been others. I am 1000 years old; I've fallen in love before. But falling in love with River makes me feel like it's the first time I've fallen for someone. Maybe it's because I've never loved anyone as much as I love her.
We're crashing into the unknown. I know I love her and I know she loves me, but what happens next? We're traveling in opposite directions in time, how could anything work? We're lost in this, but it feels like home. I could get used to that home.
I'm feeling alive all over again, as deep as the sky that's under my skin. And throughout it all, one line from her repeats itself in my head.
"Like being in love," she says, "for the first time."
I'm feeling right where I belong with her tonight, feeling home. Maybe it won't work, maybe I'm wrong, but I don't care about that right now. Because this feels like being in love for the first time. And that's something special.