It was a cold, wintry night. The snow was falling and Brian was laying across his couch, which was an unlikely site. He hadn't gone out to Babylon since Justin left him. He just couldn't handle the thought of not being able to come home to someone who loved him. Mikey would stop by once and awhile to check up on him. This too was a lot for Mikey to deal with because never in their friendship had he ever seen Brian so lifeless and so depressed. He would do whatever he could to cheer him up but nothing would work. He even went to see Justin at Ethan's and tried to talk him into leaving Ethan and going back to Brian but that of course didn't work. Then one day Justin went to visit Brian to talk to him.

"Knock knock, anyone home?"
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to talk to you"
"Why waste your time, your young goes seize the moment or some shit like that."
"But I wanna talk"
"That's all you ever wanted to do was talk. "
"Listen Brian this is hard for me too. You were the first person I loved and after awhile the passion went away and we wouldn't talk we would just fuck it was like you didn't care."
"Well don't you think its hard for me. You know me I don't show my feelings to anybody. Did you ever think that maybe it was hard for me to realize that I really did love you but I didn't know how to show it? Well now that you know what my problem was will you just go. I have to get ready I'm going out."
"Oh really and out would be what, the kitchen"
"Fuck off"

Justin left in a rage. He couldn't believe how Brian was acting but in a way he understood why. He had betrayed someone who really did love him he just didn't know it. "Oh but what the fuck do I care" ,he thought, "I'm with Ethan now and he loves me."

Brian did end up going out. He went to Mikey and Ben's apartment. Ben was out, he had a late class and Mikey was home working on a story line for the next issue of RAGE. Mikey was pleased to see Brian when he came in. He walked over to him and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the forehead.

(Mikey walking back to his work, Brian going the kitchen to get a beer)
"Its nice to see you out and about today"
"Justin came by today"
"He did? What did that little prick want?"
"He gave me some bullshit of how we never talked and that's why he's with Ethan"
"That Little fucker"
(Brian sits at the table with Mikey)
"But he was right, Mikey. We didn't talk."
"Well he was never around to talk"
"No, I never gave him the time to talk. I just didn't know what to say to him. Every time I saw him I couldn't help it but fuck him. I loved him so much that that's the only way I could express it. You know I'm not some lesbian like Mel or Linds, I can't express myself in words, only in actions."
"You mean like how you haven't left your couch in the past two weeks?"
"Yeah"
"But your able to tell me how you feel about me"
"Yeah but your Mikey"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I've known you since we were young. It was different for us"
"You mean we didn't fuck"
(Brian get up from the table)
"You wanna go out?"
"Brian, don't change the subject"
"Do you wanna go out?"
"I can't I have to wait for Ben to get home"
"Oh I'm sorry I forgot we have to wait for the hubby to get home if we're going to go out"
"Brian"
"Well I'll be at Babylon if you need me"
(Brian leaves. He closes the door and leans up against it)

"Why is it that the two people I love so much don't want to be with me." So much was hitting Brian at once, his ego was at an all time low (I know its hard to believe but it was). Justin left him for a young man who 'liked to talk'. And his Mikey was settled down with a great professor. And it didn't help that when he went to the diner instead of Babylon Ted and Emmett were there making googlie eyes with each other. It seemed like the world of love was against him and he didn't know how to handle it. All he wanted was Justin back. A thing that seemed so unattainable at the time that he could cry. But he even thought that that would just show to much emotion. Instead he held it all in, which wasn't good either.