Lapis was always broken.
Being fused with Jasper was indescribable- it was painful, physically as she was struggling to hold up her weight, but emotionally, Jaspers constant taunts running through her head. Jasper said she was worthless. Said she was a traitor to the home world who couldn't do anything right. But what did Jasper know, Lapis assured herself. Still, every comment, every pull at the chains that held her captive sent her deeper in the waves, drowning in what used to be home, was a stab in the heart.
There was some sort of bitter sweetness about it. It was horrible, awful- but when they managed to come together even for a moment and agree on something, it was just so good. A kiss of hope and comfort. So relieving and so fulfilling if Jasper stopped for a moment and comforted her, apologizing and saying she was sorry. Even if in the back of Lapis's mind she knew it would all go backwards in a few hours, she allowed herself to be embraced and just think that it would be alright.
But soon she turned again with her vicious threats, screaming inside of the both of them saying for Lapis to stop, only to let her take control because she was a worthless, good for no one gem without Jasper.
Her tears blended into the ocean as she lied on the cold, hard ground of the cave their minds had been entrapped in. Rock scraped against her legs and Lapis rolled her wrist, trying to get the uncomfortable chains off, even for a moment. But she was gone. She couldn't give up.
It was a long time before Steven and the Crystal Gems had finally injured them so they could unfuse- and Lapis fell into the ocean mindlessly, slipping immediately into a black abyss.
She had woken up, and Steven had convinced her to stay on earth and they flew across the area. It was nice- enlightening. Lapis felt truly happy.
And so that was the time she moved into the barn with Peridot.
Peridot was a peculiar little thing, but even if Lapis didn't necessarily show it, Peri was enlightening. She was cutely nerdy. They spent nights together watching her ridiculous show, which Lapis couldn't help but stop watching. When both of them weren't busy and the crystal gems weren't there, they spent their days at the beach, Lapis sitting on the sand, still weary of the ocean she had been trapped in for so long, but watching as Peridot made her way through the ocean.
Lapis suddenly looked up from her magazine to see Peridot scream, flailing her hand which had a crab attached to it.
"Get off of me you clod!" She screamed, pulling the crabs pitchers off her fingers and throwing it into the sand.
"Are you okay?" Lapis asked nonchalantly. Peridot looked and narrowed her eyes at Lapis. "I'm fine. What about you? Why don't you go into the ocean?"
Lapis stopped, eyes wide as she stared at Peridots accusing glare.
"Um," Lapis began. "I don't know- it still just reminds me of being fused with Jasper, you know?" Lapis said, tapping her fingers together nervously. A sinking feeling filled her stomach as Peridot came closer.
The green haired gem didn't say anything; only just came even closer and looked in Lapis's eyes. "I know it was hard. But you should face your fears, Lapis," she insisted.
Lapis sighed, thinking. She should get used to her surroundings again. She had gone to the ocean with Steven before but it had also been bittersweet. Reluctantly she pulled herself to her knees, and didn't have a chance to do anything before the smaller and eager Peridot grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the ocean.
Lapis followed with a giggle of surprise, finding it surprisingly enlightening to feel the sea salt filled wind run through her hair, and she stopped for a moment, taking a sharp breath as her bare feet reached the water, but she soon let the breath out slowly.
Peridot smiled. "Good! Now a little farther. You're fine Lapis!"
Lapis gave a smile at her new found friends eager demeanor, and felt her chest swell a little bit for the fellow gem. She may have been a little spitfire, but she was kind when she wanted to be.
Lapis continued to step farther into the water, feeling a little unnerved, but just taking her time and focusing on the cool water, the feeling of the sand in her toes, and Peridots small fingers laced in hers.
"Thank you Peridot," Lapis said with a smile. She looked over to the other girl and Peridot was grinning as well.
Lapis laced her remaining hand in Peridots remaining hand and began spinning around, droplets of salt water staining her cheeks from the splashes. Peridot gave a snort of laughter as they spun around in the blue ocean, looking up at the white streaks of clouds in the sky and the shining sun.
But suddenly, Lapis didn't feel like herself anymore. With a panic, she realized she was fused, and even if it was with Peridot, she looked down, seeing blue-green legs and stumbled back until they unfused and fell back into the water.
"I'm sorry!" Lapis yelled over to Peridot. She sat in an inch of water, groaning with pain. "It was just unexpected, and last time I was fused-" Lapis started as she ran towards Peridot.
Peridot only gave a shrug, brushing sand off her arms as Lapis sat in front of her. "It's okay," she said. "I understand. It must have been awful fused with Jasper, and I'm sorry we fused accidentally. I didn't want it to be that way."
Lapis smiled, another beautiful, genuine smile. "Thank you. Its okay, Peri."
And with that, she leaned forward to press a kiss onto Peridots nose, watching her cheeks turned red while pulling away. Lapis ran a hand through Peridots hair, messing it up further.
"You-" Peridot protested, trying to hide her embarrassment. Lapis grinned. Maybe she did like this little feisty gem.