A/N I don't own House M. D. It belongs to Fox.

CHAPTER ONE-ENTICEMENT

"House! My office, five minutes ….pretty please," Cuddy said with a smirk.

"Yes ma'am," House responded with an exaggerated drawl.

"Whips or chains today?"

"Just be there," she said as she rolled her eyes and walked purposefully to her office.

Crap, thought House. Murphy's Law. The day started so well and now she has to go and ruin it.

He had woken that morning to the rather pleasant surprise of no pain in his usually excruciating thigh muscle. From this he had deduced that today might be bearable. However, Cuddy's insistence he that go to her office quickly doused any hopes of him enjoying his day. Her mischievous expression and the confidence in her gait told him he was in trouble. As he walked towards his office he racked his brain trying to think what he had done to piss Cuddy off this time.

Well, it could be just anything, he thought

Cameron was sitting at House's desk as he entered. She looked decidedly bored. Forman and Chase were nowhere to seen.

"Morning, Sunshine," he quipped. "You look deliriously happy today, obviously slept well." He threw his backpack and helmet haphazardly onto a chair.

"Ha ha, you're a funny, funny man, you know that?" Cameron responded sarcastically.

"I do actually, but thanks for the affirmation. It's very important to keep my ego nice and hard."

Cameron said nothing but internally she shuddered at the sexual connotation.

Damn him, she thought. He's been here five seconds and he's already got me on edge.

House merely stared at her, waiting for a reaction. When he didn't get one he headed to the empty coffee pot.

"Coffee?" he asked, holding up the pot.

"Sure, yeah."

"Good. Make it hot and strong okay? I'll be back in twenty, Mistress needs me upstairs," he said with a wink.

Cameron rolled her eyes as she got up to make the coffee once House left the office. She was tired today. There had been very few cases in the last two weeks and the lack of mental stimulation was taking its toll on all of them. They needed some excitement to liven up the lull they seemed to be in. A few seconds passed before House returned to the doorway.

"By the way, where the hell are Hewey and Dewey?" he questioned.

"Not much happening, so Forman opted for clinic duty. As for Chase, he's probably getting his highlights done, should be here soon" she said with a slight smirk.

"Oh I've taught you so well," House remarked.

"Now, now. Don't go stroking your own ego, I've already done that for you this morning, remember?" Cameron stated with a smug look.

House's eyes widened at her comment and he forced his brain to conjure up a witty comeback.

"Yeah, don't want getting too big for the big, bad boss lady," he shot back just in time.

"Quite," Cameron said loud enough for House to hear as he headed back down the corridor.

Cameron smiled as she continued to dutifully prepare the coffee. She loved the banter between them, the sexual innuendoes that caused her blood to heat, the way he'd stare at her when they were alone that made her literally lightheaded. She loved it, but she wished to God the tension would somehow come to fruition. From the moment she had begun her fellowship at Princeton there had been moments of intensity between them, usually in the form of a stare or, occasionally, an accidental touch as one brushed past the other. Even during his frequent tirades towards her when he didn't agree with sugar coated morals, their eyes would connect with excruciating intimacy.

The rational side of her knew their relationship would not progress to anything more. He was too wrapped up in himself, and work, to commit to anyone, even if he did care about them. He'd proved that through Stacy's departure a while back. The hopeless romantic in her, however, clung to the fleeting moments between them. They were all she had.

House barged through the door to Cuddy's office, eager to get his scalding over with.

"S'up boss?" he asked, doing his best to imitate street slang.

Thankfully Cuddy got straight to the point as House stood in front of her desk.

"Performance reviews on your team are due next month."

"Well, I wasn't planning on doing those, they bore me," responded House.

"They bore you? House, they're required annually by the Board to assess whether your team stays together. Does that meaning nothing to you?"

"I'll get Cameron to write them, she'll write enough sentimental crap about them to keep their positions until after they're dead."

"No," enforced Cuddy. "You'll write them. It's simple. Just state how each is vital to the department and the responsibilities they have. None of them have anything to worry about. When I write yours however…" she trailed off.

"You wouldn't dare," challenged House jokingly.

"Then don't give a reason to. Like I said, they are all excellent in their field, the Board just needs to see it, from you," she affirmed.

"Fine, all right, okay. My God you're a hard task master," he chided.

"I know things have been quiet in the department lately, and morale's been a bit low, so I've come up with an incentive to boost your team's spirits and make it easier for you to write the reports."

"Now Cuddy", House began in a condescending tone. "We've been through this. Your bed is simply too small to fit us all in. Have you seen the size of Forman's feet? They're huge!

"House, stop acting like a child and hear me out, please."

"Yes Ma'am," House replied, mockingly sulking like a student being told off by his teacher.

Cuddy ignored his behavior and continued patiently.

"My brother has a cabin up at Bottleneck Forest and I thought it would be beneficial if the four of you went up there to have some R and R, took some time away from this place to recharge the batteries."

House didn't know what to think of this idea. He needed to hear more of its merits before shooting it down completely.

"So," he started. "You want me, Big Foot, Sleeping Beauty and Wally the Wombat to go to some remote cabin in the middle of winter for team building and bonding? I'm sorry, but it's going to take a bit more than that before I start getting down and dirty with my hommies."

"Well, for starters, it's not that remote, only a couple of hours away, and in terms of warmth, it has under floor heating and a spa, which I'm sure would do wonders for your leg."

Hmmm, thought House. That's true. He was beginning to be enticed by the idea.

"How many rooms?" he questioned.

"Five, so don't worry, you won't have to share a bed with Cameron, Chase or Forman's feet.

"Good." What else can you offer?" House asked bluntly.

Cuddy didn't miss a beat.

"How about three weeks off clinic duty as well?"

"What else?"

She simply glared at him.

"Fine. Done. How do we get there?

"You can take the hospital van," she said

"No," he stated defiantly. "We are not taking that heap of crap. We'd look like a bunch of mentally challenged patients allowed out on a day trip in that thing."

"Then you'd feel right at home," Cuddy shot back.

"Give us the Tahoe and we'll be set."

She was in no mood to argue. She knew it was pointless. He wouldn't back down, so she relented, to keep the peace.

"Fine, take the Tahoe."

"Goodie." He held out his hand. "Keys, gimme."

Cuddy opened a drawer to her desk and took out two sets of keys, one for the vehicle and one for the cabin. She also handed him a map and a detailed list of directions.

"You have three days up there, use it wisely," she said, keeping the keys safely out of House's reach while she laid down the law.

"Relax, take mental notes for your report, and please don't torment your team too much."

"As if I would," he scoffed.

Cuddy rolled her eyes.

"You can leave this afternoon if that works."

"Sweet. Will do," he said, turning to leave.

"House," Cuddy called after him.

"What?" he asked impatiently, eager to get going.

"I don't want you driving the Tahoe. If there happened to be an accident insurance won't cover with you being high and all."

"Killjoy," he muttered, limping out the office.

He headed downstairs via the lift to tell his troops about their little vacation. He knew they'd have some trepidations and questions about why they had to go on a team building retreat and spend three days with him. He just wasn't going to take no for an answer, this was mandatory. Hell, he was scared shitless himself. The thought of having to spend time with them outside of work made a little nervous. The prospect of spending time with one of them in particular made him extremely nervous.