I sat on the edge of the pew, closing my eyes as sobs shook me. Being stupid never bothered me, but not having anything to say about my brother at his funeral, bawling. Ponyboy was… I was afraid to say it, afraid it would hurt more if I admitted it, so I thought Ponyboy was waiting at home for us, and we would wrestle. And the rest of our outfit would come over, and Steve would lose 100 bucks to me in the first hour.
That was my dream. The dream that would never come true.