What are the chances?
1: Is life like drama? Or is drama like Life?
Okita Sougo was supposed to be the happiest man alive.
His wife gave a successful birth to a baby (after much swearing and cursing in the operation room), and the child was a healthy one. The kid was as energetic as a newborn monkey; perfect to be a tribute in his 'eliminate Hijikata-that-scumbag-of-the-world' plan. Everything was supposed to be perfect.
… Or so he was told by Danna.
Yeah…
Okita didn't really get a chance to see his newborn right away. It was not because he wasn't there, or that he didn't care to see. As a matter of fact, he was present in the operation room by his wife's side as she went berserk; screaming millions of inappropriate things that made the nurses and the doctors cringed for their faiths in all good things in the world.
For example:
"GAHHH! OH MY FUCKING GOD! I'LL KILL YOU, I'LL KILL YOU BITCHES!"
"HAHAHAHA. EVERTHING SHOULD JUST BE BURNED TO ASHES. EVERYTHING!"
"... We're all going to die anyway..."
"FUCK, FUCK IT HURTS SO MUCH! IMMA SLAP YOU WIT MA-"
"GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR, HOE! GET DOWN ON THE FREAKING FLOOR!"
"HAGGGGGGX!"
"SUKONBUUUUUUUUUU!"
"I- SPIJLOI;ASEFHOIH'W;DLMPOOPS-"
"And now we stand in the honour of MADAO, who had finally graduated from his life as a card board man. Shall we toast!? Who wanna toast?!"
"..."
" *** ** ********** **** * *** "
But it seems that for some reason, she blamed all of her pain on him. Said that he was the one who got her knocked up, and that he should *** in the fucking hell of planet Sadists. The she decided to crush his outstretched hand (to help her through) right then and there. The pain sent him into coma and cast for several days. By the time he was released, his wife and the unseen baby have already left the hospital to settle back at their home, as if he was nothing of importance at all.
And he could just imagine his China packing her bags while leaving him a note 'I'm going off to find my own happiness' in his lunch box. She was a woman capable of doing that much.
Finally, after driving over the speed limits (despite being a policeman) and almost accidentally ran over Hijikata, he arrived at his house. Not wasting a moment, he rushed inside to the living room where his wife and baby were sitting in, watching the late evening drama.
"Yo. Feeling any better, Sadist?"
Greeted Kagura casually, slurping instant noodle from the cup as though she didn't break his hand three days ago. Her blue eyes never leaving at the TV screen which was featuring a man and his apparent wife talking in low voices.
Okita rubbed his temples.
Something never changes.
"I'm feeling as hot and as sexy as always, China," he deadpanned, "even after you landed me in the hospital, I still feel fine."
"Oh, please. You were screaming for your life in there. You even mentioned something about have streaks of M within your DNA. I wouldn't call your face back then 'hot and sexy'."
"You didn't look so appealing either," he commented, before his eyes will wander to the bundle within her arms. Instantly, he dropped all of his maliciousness like how a bird would drop its crap. His face went soft, and he inched closer to his newest family member who was still wrapped in blankets.
"That's right! You haven't seen Sora yet!" She exclaimed as she passed the bundle along into his arm, a bit too forcefully and excitedly, for she just had a feeling that he would wimp out on her. Okita took the baby close to his drumming chest and held that figure close, afraid that slightest movements might harm the baby in some way.
He felt useless and stupid for a second. But they were still new at this, after all. Even the most brutal people in the world would go soft at the sight of their own child, right?
"You can move the blanket out of the way. Shinpachi just came and put the baby to sleep, so he won't wake up for a while." Kagura stated before she'll turn back to the TV. In the screen, the man and the woman were arguing even more hastily than they were.
"But… I didn't mean to! Listen to me, Nobu!" Screamed the woman, tears rushing down her face like Niagara waterfall. The blond haired man in the screen cried even louder.
"This child… why, Nana?!"
"Give it up, Nobuo. The kid in Nana's stomach is mine!" Said another long haired man who had just entered the scene. Kagura's eyes went wide and she stuffed more noodles into her mouth excitedly.
"Holy shit, Takumi strikes again!" Kagura bellowed.
"Stop it, Takumi!" Nana in the screen cried.
Of course, all those screams of another anime characters did not bother Okita in the least. He was focused and expectant. Excited and nervous. His trembling fingers stretched out and tucked at the corner of the blanket slowly…
The blanket unraveled dramatically, and Okita sucked in his breath. He was meeting his firstborn for the first time! This is real! He was becoming a father!
Then he froze.
And blinked.
Eh? He thought, wait, this is… eh?
Okita picked the corner of the blanket up to cover the baby again. In a second later, he pulled the blanket down once more, and stared.
Huh? What? I'm not seeing things, am I? Oi, oi, did the three nights in that freaking hospital sent me to some sort of Shutter Island? I'm seeing things? Should I be worry? EH?! HUH?!
WHAT THE FUCK!?
"China!" Okita called. He was on his feet now, oozing some sort of seriously black aura even more than the dark matter. His face was emotionless and pale.
Kagura turned to him in annoyance, "what? You are disturbing me during my favorite episode of NAN*, you fool!"
"What… what, you asked…?"
As thought they were on the same cue, the character in the TV, Takumi, and Okita Sougo, our prince of Sadist, exploded out the same line with a completely different tone:
"WHOSE KID IS THIS?!"
"WHOSE KID IS THIS?!"
Well, well, I wonder whose kid that is.
This chap is kinda short, but the next two will be longer! Promise!
For those who doesn't know, I made a reference to the anime called NANA during the drama on the TV.
So long :)
PLZ, REVIEW!