In the wake of not being able to conjure enough muse to spit out a DECENT chapter for my current story on Criminal Minds Fandom and between paragraphs for my Christmas Gift Fic….I have been inspired by the new take on Ashley Seaver and well...wanted to try my hand at it. SO HERE YOU ARE FIC WRITERS AND READERS! This might turn into more chapters, I'm just not sure yet. This is set, literally, after "what happens at home".
Summary: After the events in New Mexico, Ashley Seaver discovers something about David Rossi that she didn't expect in a man who she sees as a hero.
Featured Characters: All of them, but focused on an Ashley and Rossi the most; just not as a couple.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. But thanks for letting me borrow you're awesome characters.
She could see age where a light dusting of salt and pepper had taken root in his dark hair. There was a tentative eagerness to the way her eyes traveled the lines worn wearily on his face, the way they soaked in every detail. Even in the dark she could see the beginnings of stubble; a vague five o'clock shadow that met the facial hair he sported so acutely. Sleep was the only time she'd ever seen his guard down, and from her perspective, it was fascinating. Dozens of years worth of stories were etched in that noble face across from her; wonderful and tragic stories. Even in his sleep she could sense a light stress from the way his eyebrows furrowed lightly every now and then. She wondered briefly what it was that he dreamt of: If those dreams were horrifying, if they were happy, if they were sad… Ashley Seaver was a girl of many curiosities; a longing for normalcy if only for a few moments. Waking up was the worst part.
The day would start beautifully with the opening of her eyes, an escape from the dreamland she had long gotten used to as dark and dismal, until she would recall that her past was no dream at all….and that the nightmares were still very real. But it was an interesting thing for her to openly stare at David Rossi as he slept. Having long since controlled the tears that begged themselves to be spilled from her eyes, she had taken to reading, to staring out the window, and then to finally noticing that one of the men that had been responsible for putting her father away for life, for rescuing her and her family, along with several other possible victims, had fallen into a gentle slumber.
Ashley drew in a shaky breath as she watched Rossi shift; his arms were crossed in front of him, his head leaning against the seat beside him as his feat poked into the aisle. He looked exhausted despite being asleep and she had to wonder how much rest any of them really got. She, for one, would definitely not be enjoying that luxury this evening; not after her little escapade. New Mexico had not been the experience she'd hoped for. In fact, she'd felt quite useless consulting them when they were so good at what they did.
The BAU seemed to function without her; something she'd hoped wouldn't have been so prevalent. Despite her obvious willingness to help, she'd made a rookie mistake; one that could have cost her her life and others lives' as well. She couldn't help but feel disappointed in herself, and nervous with Agent Hotchner's ominous warning. You messed up big time, Ash, she thought sullenly. That was the understatement of the year. But the worst part was that she had to be stuck in the same vicinity as Aaron Hotchner and his anger; she was stuck with feeling as though she'd let him down.
And while she understood why he was angry with her, she just wished that she had had the courage to tell him why it had been so important for her to apologize…to do something after all the years of doing nothing. Rossi had seemed to understand, had comforted her in the way a father would a daughter, a mentor to a mentee. She hated letting people down, and when she'd seen the guilt written on Rossi's face, she'd turned away with a sad smile; choosing to cry without his comforting touch, without his tender consoling.
She stared apologetically at the sleeping David Rossi before getting up from her seat and moving towards the back of the plane; catering herself to a glass of water to quench the thirst she felt after everything that had happened. Nearly everyone was asleep as the Bureau's Jet soared on from New Mexico to Virginia; the night outside the plane's windows a dark and unwelcoming void. Morgan had fallen asleep to his music in the aisle across from Hotch, while their Unit Chief seemed to be staring out the window with a pen in his hand, but a look closer revealed to her that his eyes were indeed closed. Emily had her jacket draped over her shoulders, her head resting on the window as she sat across from Reid, who was trying to keep his eyes open as he put the finishing touches on some paper work.
He looked up briefly as she passed by to return to her seat, offering her a small, awkward smile which she returned with one of her own and a slight nod. She had tried to find some quiet greeting to spit out, some kind of notion to make him not inquire about her well-being as Rossi had, but nothing had come out, and thus she was resigned to slip into her seat; careful not to wake the sleeping man in front of her. But it was no use anyway, the jet made a light dissent from the sky while she'd gone to sit and she fell into the leather rather abruptly, the sound of the pristine material waking Rossi with a start.
He peered at her grumpily, blinking his bleary eyes once or twice before straightening by drawing his feet in from the aisle.
"Sorry." Ashley smiled guiltily and traced the edges of her water cup.
"Don't worry about it." He tried to whisper through a yawn, keeping his arms folded across his chest as he stared at her. "Why didn't you wake me?"
"That would have been rude. Plus, you looked like you needed the rest." It was the only excuse she had to offer him, which seemed to satisfy him after another yawn. They fell into compatible silence as the plane continued to descend. It wasn't until the plane had landed, and the team had started to file out of the plane that someone caught her arm, making her turn around to face a tired, but smiling Emily Prentiss.
"Why don't you ride back with me and Rossi?" Ashley was a bit taken aback by the offer, glancing at them uncertainly before shrugging.
"Sure, thanks." Her best attempt at a smile was probably a failure after the night they'd had, but it was all they were getting from her as she followed Prentiss and Rossi to one of the Bureau-issued SUVs awaiting them. Rossi climbed behind the wheel, Emily took the passenger side, and left Ashley to the back seat.
"You came with Rossi to our office right?" Emily broke the silence as Dave put the truck in drive.
"Yep," She answered quickly, knowing exactly where the conversation was going. "I can find a ride back to my place though, it's no big deal."
"Oh come on Seaver, we're not going to make you catch a cab at this hour." Prentiss seemed to be in a good mood; to Rossi's surprise. He glanced at her, a sideways stare as one of his eyebrows lifted in mock scrutiny. Ashley watched their silent exchange in mute interest; attempting to discern some kind of hidden conversation between them.
"It's really not a problem." She injected happily, finally feeling some relief from the tension earlier in the evening. She caught Rossi's eye in the rearview mirror, unconsciously straightening under his stare.
"I'll drive you back home after I finish some paperwork; it won't be a problem." His voice held a finality that she didn't think she could argue with; plus there was the fact that she just didn't have it in her to say no to him tonight.
"If you're sure. That would be great, thanks." Her response was quickly followed by Prentiss turning around to look at her; twisting in her seat in order to face the younger agent.
"Don't worry about Hotch, by the way. He just likes to keep everyone safe; it's his job." She offered easily, re-opening the evening's events with a couple of smooth sentences.
"I messed up; he has every right to be mad. I take responsibility for my actions." Ashley looked down, shame suddenly filling her face before she glanced out the window.
"We all make mistakes." Prentiss corrected, silently impressed with Seaver's maturity, but not surprised by it. "Take Rossi for example." Her face opened into a huge smile as she was, no doubt, remembering some of the things he did on his return to the BAU; plus the added enjoyment of using him as a model for this lovely ride back to Quantico.
"Emily…" Rossi's low warning sounded as he stopped at a red light, glancing at her crossly from the driver's seat; the only give away was the slight twitch of a smirk on his lips.
"Don't Emily me." She said in mock annoyance, rolling her eyes a little to look back at Ashley, who sat in the middle of the back seat expectantly. "The first few weeks back, Morgan and I thought we were going to have to kill him. He contacted the Media his first case back without telling any of us, ended up having to shoot the guy, which wasn't a mistake, but still. He wasn't much of a team player back then." Emily lightly punched Dave's right arm, and Rossi just shrugged.
"A lot has changed since this thing was started; I just had to get used to it." He said a bit shamelessly as he turned and stopped at the guard gate, all of them flashing their badges at this late hour.
"Plus," Emily seemed content on continuing as they were cleared through the gate, and Dave parked the SUV. "Hotch never stays mad for too long."
"I hope you're right. And thanks Emily." Ashley hoped that Prentiss knew she meant every word she said as she grabbed her bag from the seat and walked up the steps into the building.
"No worries, we have each other's' backs." Prentiss met Dave around the front of the car.
"Always." Rossi added gruffly as he shrugged into his coat and slung his bag over his shoulder; glancing at Emily with an unreadable expression. Ashley looked back on them for a moment and watched the others walk up, noticing the way they seemed to release some unseen anxiety when they came together; and for a moment she wondered what it would be like to have that bond. To be so certain of people around you was almost awe-inspiring. It was Morgan who caught her eye this time, smiling at her with a devious twinkle in his eye.
"Come on little girl, let's teach you how to do paper work the right way." Derek walked up beside her and put his arm around her shoulder, guiding her into the double-doors with everyone muttering low admonitions to their dark agent about not scaring the new girl.
Ashley approached Agent Rossi's door at a quarter to two in the morning and went to knock; pausing only when her fortitude wavered as she noticed how low the lighting was coming out of the window. The blinds were drawn, but the edges held a warm glow that a fire might cast into a dim household.
"Agent Rossi?" She knocked lightly, finding the door swung open a bit in the process. "Sir?" Ashley peered into the room, poking her head from around the door to find him asleep for the second time since she'd been re-acquainted after all this time. The only differences she noted were the sounds of his gentle snoring and the fact that there was a tumbler, a quarter-full of amber liquid, in his hand as he slept; the empty bottle of what she assumed was scotch or whiskey having found a place in the trash bin beside his desk.
Something about this seemed surreal to her as she crept into the office; despite the alarm bells her instincts were currently sounding off. She knew she shouldn't be in here, knew that she should just go find a cab or see if Emily had left yet. But apparently she was a glutton for punishment as she found herself carefully prying the glass from his hand and setting in down quietly on the desktop in front of him. He was leaning back in his chair, his head lulled back to the right; undoubtedly uncomfortable.
"Rossi, Sir?" She poked him in the shoulder a few times until he slowly opened his eyes, lifting his head to look at her. She noticed how round his pupils were, the way he looked at her but didn't seem to see her, and lastly the fact that his breath wreaked of alcohol. Oh you've got to be kidding me, she thought to herself as he went to close his eyes again. "Hey, you ready to leave?"
It looked as though he'd only gotten through half of his paperwork since they'd gotten back. He barely responded to her talking and she resulted to shaking his shoulder, which elicited a more profound reaction; him jerking and slamming his knee into his desk. He muttered a low curse and clutched at his leg, which he began to rub furiously.
"What are you doing in here?" He asked accusingly, glaring up at her from bloodshot eyes.
"I came in to see if you were ready to leave." She jumped into a rapid explanation, her heart pounding in her chest. "You-you said you were going to give me a ride…?" What was meant to be a reminder turned into a tentative question as she backed a few feet away; suddenly wondering if he was even in the condition to drive at all.
"Oh, right. Ya I'm ready, go grab your stuff." He said as he looked around for his bag from his seat, craning his head to peer at the couch across from his desk.
"'Kay." She said and she walked briskly from his office and down the steps; glancing around the bullpen to see everyone had left already. Ashley obediently grabbed her bag from near Derek Morgan's desk and looked up to see Rossi easing himself down the stairs slowly. She watched him deftly, calculating each of his wavering steps, noticing the way his hand gripped the rail for dear life as he descended. The last step was what made her nearly launch herself into action; her body tensing as he tripped. "Are you ok?" She asked, moving determinedly to his side.
"What? Oh, ya perfect." Was that sarcasm in his voice? He started to move on towards the double, glass doors and she was forced to dismiss the thought. A few years back, she had audited a class on the psychology of grief and loss, and she couldn't stop thinking about the ways in which people cope. So this is how he copes? She just didn't want to imagine the great David Rossi drinking himself to sleep every night after a case. No, she decided, that wasn't the reason he had emptied a bottle of alcohol before they went home. There was probably barely any left in the bottle anyway. Yeah, a small glass after work; everyone does that. Her mental pep talk was doing nothing for her confidence as he seemed to sag while waiting for the elevator.
She kept glancing at him until finally the bell dinged and the elevator doors opened. He staggered inside, and she squeezed in before the doors closed; watching his eyes droop as he attempted to lean casually against one of the walls. The jarring of the elevator stopping made them both jump; her out of her reverie, and him out of sleep. After a cumbersome walk to his truck, he went to climb into the driver's side when she suddenly blocked his way.
"You think that's a good idea?" Her voice was careful in its assertion.
"What are you-?" He protested a bit raucously as she snatched the keys from his hand and looked up at him seriously.
"I'm driving, get in." She guided him around to the passenger-side door, then jogged around to the driver's side, hopped in, and started the truck. "So where to?" He was leaning back against the window, his eyes drifting close. He muttered something incoherently, and Ashley, out of mild frustration, just shifted the truck into drive.
How she managed to get him into her apartment was beyond her. He was asleep for the entire ride. Passed out, she reminded herself as she slouched in a chair opposite her couch, while the infamous David Rossi lay across that said piece of furniture. She had been sitting there for over an hour contemplating the repercussions of this night. First, she had to go and nearly get herself killed, forcing Agent Hotchner to kill a little girl's last parent; despite him being a serial killer and the reasons for her mother's death.
She broke protocol to apologize to a family that didn't need her apology; they had been just like her own. Ashley drew her arms around her, suddenly chilled by the thought of that little girl's face as she was guided into the squad car by the man lying on her couch. How was she going to explain this? She wouldn't have to. She couldn't. A noise came from him, jarring her from her thoughts. Out of her chair in a second, Ashley crouched down in front of him, tentatively putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Sir?" She whispered, suddenly aware of the fact that it was completely ridiculous to be doing so. She shook his shoulder. "Hey, you awake?" His face was scrunched up, a light grimace as he turned to look at her; his eyes glassy.
"...you safe…shouldn't have been there." He swallowed, drawing in a breath. Ashley couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep; his words were slurred, thready. "My fault…."
"It's okay, it's fine." She responded dumbly, finding that it was the only thing she could say. But he'd closed his eyes again. Troubled, she leaned back to sit between the couch and the coffee table. Her place was what you'd expect from a girl going through the FBI Academy; small, furnished, with a few decorations, and some electronics that were never turned on anymore. This was not happening to her, she was going to wake up and laugh at how absurd this dream had been.
She could not be taking care of Senior SSA David Rossi just after screwing up on a case she was supposed to be consulting on. Not that it really broke protocol, but it definitely disrupted some of the social laws where appropriateness was concerned. He'd promised her a ride out of professional, if not personal, obligation, and then gotten drunk; to which she was now responsible for his well-being.
At least I get to repay him. She was fairly certain that her dreams of working for the BAU were destroyed by her conduct in New Mexico, but she planned to talk to Agent Prentiss about finishing her short remediation by shadowing her.
But this…situation was muddying the water between professional respect for David Rossi and personal worry and would undoubtedly make her stay a little more awkward in the days to come…
Okay so that was longer than I thought it was going to be. I'm doing another chapter for "25 to Life", and then a few more during the break since we have to wait until JANUARY 15TH to see what's up with Reid. If you have time I'd really appreciate a few R&R's. I know that with the Holiday people are pressed for time, but your opinions would be great! and maybe some advice as to where to take the story :)