So…

While I was chatting with a friend from Tumblr, a really funny idea came to mind, and I couldn't help but write the thing out xD. Thanks, prxtectiveflames.

I will be using the game's respective name of Hanzo's wife (Harumi) instead of the name given in legacy (Kana). Just throwing that out there, huehue.

(‾‾‾‾‾ΞΞΞΞΞ≡≡≡≡===々々々===≡≡≡≡ΞΞΞΞΞ‾‾‾‾‾)

Breakfast In Bed

She heard a small sound of their door opening, and then the sound of light footsteps against the tatami flooring. However she only shuffled in her sleep, consciously assuming that Hanzo was probably getting something and trying to wake her up. Until she felt something dipping against the bed, and stocky arms pull her into a warm hug.

"Ohayo." Hanzo nestled his head in her hair, and Harumi finally opened her eyes and gave him a huge back. She looked forward, and noticed a small wooden table with two of her favorite meals to start her day; Miso Soup, and Natto covered with a fried egg. She sat up slowly, and rubbed her eyes. Hanzo spoke before her.

"You've done enough work yesterday. I made you this as a 'thank you' for it."

She giggled. "All I did was made you dinner, Hanzo. I do that all the time."

"But you were so tired, you didn't get to enjoy it with me." Hanzo's charm was coated in his smile and voice. "So I made all this so you can relax."

Harumi couldn't help but hug him. Her husband had a knack for watching her cook, mainly because he couldn't wait to eat, and perhaps to learn some tidbits from her dishes. She kissed him on the cheek, and took the chopsticks in her hands. Hanzo sat down next to her on the bed with an expectant face. She took a bit of the miso soup and put it in her mouth, chewing with great consideration. Then her eyebrows raised with delight. She took a bit of the Natto as well, her eyes curved in content.

"Wā, this tastes amazing!" Harumi turned to Hanzo, who smiled, and kissed him again, playfully nuzzling his beardy cheek with her free hand. "Arigatō…"

"You're welcome, Harumi. Stay and enjoy your meal." His wife nodded, but then turned to him again.

"You even had to wear my apron?"

He looked down at the clean floral apron he had on, and looked back at her with a sheepish smile. He scratched the back of his head. "I liked it, so I wore it."

"And the sugegasa, too?"

He looked up at the pointy straw hat, which hid his messy bunned hair. His hand didn't leave the back of head. "...Yes."

Harumi laughed. Her husband, outside of the Shirai Ryu training, was silly at times. As serious as he could be, it would surprise anyone would only knew him formally as Grandmaster. She looked back down at her meal. "Anō, I'll be sure to enjoy it then." Hanzo nodded, and gave her a peck on her forehead, before walking back out the room. He slowly closed the door to their shared bedroom, and inhaled, making his way back to the kitchen. When he got the open entrance, he let out a heaved sigh.

By Harumi's standards, saying the kitchen was a mess was an understatement.

The stove was pretty much nearly coated with soup sauce, and the pots used for miso soup looked like they had a month's worth of grease within them. Not even that, there were pieces, chunks, of rice flung around the countertop, and egg shells on the floor, hinting at the silent rage he had not so long ago. Not to mention that it took him two hours to actually make his wife's entire meal, and make it perfectly. He never knew that making a simple egg was so delicate, and kept overcooking them, having to throw them away. The same with the white rice; he couldn't get it in that soft texture that Harumi always managed to pull off so well, and to his dismay he had to restart a couple of times. And don't even get started on the soup; Hanzo got so upset that he accidentally spilled some of the trial-and-errors on the floor.

There was a pretty smart reason as to why he wore the apron and the hat. He didn't put it on initially while he was cooking, and his torso turned into a mess. His hair suffered too, he had to put it in a bun to hide the bits of rice, and sauce from his wife's eyes. The only place that didn't look all that suspicious was his pants. Hanzo swallowed; it won't be long before Harumi's praise would turn to scolding. He took a broom, and a small cleaning cloth, as well as a bucket with water and a cleaning solution in it. He removed the straw hat, and instantly felt a few rice pieces fall on his shoulders. If he get started now, she'll come down and see the mess before he would even get started.

As if a silent prayer of his was answered, a few of his Shirai Ryu comrades knocked against the screen door in the living room. Hanzo turned and went to answer it, purposely leaving the straw hat alone. The second he opened the door, he was met with shocked eyes.

"Master…"

"What happened? How did yo-"

"No time to explain. I need you three to help me now!" Hastily whispering, Hanzo fast walked into the kitchen, and the men followed suit. They stopped, eyes like saucers when they came across the messy kitchen.

"Um…"

"I was cooking." Hanzo turned to them with an I-know-I-screwed-up expression on his face. "Come, my wife is still eating!"

They hurried their way towards the rest of the cleaning supplies, and stepped in to scrub against the floor. Hanzo was busy with the pans, and they were all getting at the counter and the saucey wooden floor. With too much frustration, Hanzo was scrubbing against the insides of the pan, and he pulled away, realizing that his methods weren't even working. How does she do it? The grease was far too hard to even come off with a simple wash.

He had a really clever, but very bad idea. He turned towards the backyard. What he planned on doing was maybe heating the pan up a bit, just so the grease could liquify, and he can wash it off with ease. With his powers, it would be an easy enactment. But he might risk accidentally burning some of the backyard… or maybe not. What was the saying, don't knock until you try it?

"I'll be back."

Hanzo took all the pots in his arms, having to do a really comical walk just to get to the backyard door. A clan member opened the door for him, and Hanzo thanked him. With them doing the inside of the house, he could at least get these pots clean…

He sat one of them on a raised platform with an open bottom, and put his hand at least two feet underneath it. With his powers, he emitted fire under the pot, and watched as the grease was slowly melting off. He smiled; he was satisfied with his tactic, but this was a slow pace, and his wife was probably really close to finishing her breakfast. She may even be getting out of her nightgown right now!

With that paranoid thought, Hanzo put his hand a bit closer to the pot, the grease started to melt quickly, much to his liking. He finally pulled away, but when he did his smile fell back down again. Not only was the grease bubbling, and easier to clean, but the pot was no longer a dark silvery color, it was pitch black.

He gulped.

Maybe, maybe she won't notice that one of her pots have gone missing, so to speak? Hanzo went to grab it, but instantly pulled away, as it was too hot to touch. So instead, he quickly kicked it off, his feet making fast contact before it could even burn his sandals. He cursed under his breath, and inhaled. Okay, so maybe he should keep his hand away from the pot, and this time use both of his hands instead.

He took another dirty one, a bit bigger than the first, and did what exactly that. Of course, the grease melted off slower, but at least the pot wasn't burnt nearly to a crisp. With a happy sigh, he took the pot by its handles, content that he was able to lift it. Running back into the house because he realized he left the sponges in the sink, he nudged open his nearly closed door, and poured the liquid grease into the sink, and proceeded to wash the rest off with ease. He repeated the same process with the other two pots, and even started to hum a bit. He turned around when one of the Shirai Ryu members addressed him. The man bowed.

"The floor is cleaned and so is the counter."

Hanzo didn't even realized that they finished because he was so focused on trying to get these pots cleaned. He looked around the kitchen; it looked as though nothing even happened. He sighed in relief.

"Thank you all very much." He nodded. "You may all go now." The members bowed to him, and left quickly. His sigh had never been so relieved in his life.

"Hanzo-chan." Harumi called from the living room.

"Y-yes, Harumi?" Nearly stuttering, The Shirai Ryu Grandmaster frantically scrubbed the last pan, rinsing it off, and putting it in the rack. He turned off the sink, turned around and leaned against it, with his arms crossed, as though he was expecting her.

Harumi walked in the kitchen, she wore a red kimono, and had her hair in a low neat bun. She looked around the kitchen, and back at Hanzo, who was smiling genuinely at her.

"You really pulled it off." Her knowing face made him frown. "Even cleaned the entire kitchen before I got here." How did she know? As if she read his mind, which probably wouldn't be considerably surprising because his facial expression said it all, she pointed to his dirty clothing, and his rice-laced hair.

Hanzo touched his hair, and looked down at his torso. He cleared his throat sheepishly. "Oh...well, uh…"

"Daijōbu." She spoke again, putting her hands on his arms. "I told you already, you did an excellent job." Just to make the already sheepish Grandmaster better, she pinched his cheek as she said the last two words, and walked past him.

Hanzo's cheeks barely ever get warm from her contact, but anytime she does that little "baby" cheek pinching thing, he couldn't help but get flustered. That's probably why she kept doing it in the first place. She started towards the backyard, and Hanzo completely forgot that she always watered her flowers in the morning.

But he didn't forget the unfortunate pot that he kicked and probably was still visible. Harumi's cooking utensils were very, if he could say, sacred to her. She'll flip if she finds that pot in her backyard.

He did a fast walk towards the backyard, where she just entered, and went in front of her. "So... what are you doing?"

Harumi did a double blink, tilting her head at her husband's abrupt behavior. "I'm...going to water the flowers, Hanzo." She tried to sidestep but Hanzo beat her to it.

"Your flowers are over there." He pointed towards the right, and did a little thing where he spun her around like they would in a dance. Harumi turned right back to him. "And my water is over there." She pointed behind him, and tried to move around him again, but this time, he took her by the arms.

"Why don't I just get it for you? You're already really tired, let me help you-"

"Hanzo," she now patted him on the shoulder once, "Go change. I will do it myself-" As she spoke, she moved to the side, and instantly stopped when she saw a pitch black, steaming pot sitting on the concrete ground. Hanzo immediately took her in his arms, and started his long apology.

"T-that was an accident, Harumi. I tried to make your breakfast right, but I kept messing up and I had to keep using all your pots and pans and I tried to clean that one and I burnt it with fire and it took me to hours to get such simple recipes perfect and the whole kitchen was a mess because I couldn't-" Harumi had a very confused look on her face. He was literally on his knees right now, begging for her forgiveness towards the destroyed pot.

"Hanzo… Hanzo!" She had to say his name twice to stop him from babbling. She started to laugh because he looked at her with wide blinking eyes. "It's okay." She softly flicked him on the head. He blinked again. "I have others, and you can buy me another one sometime."

He sighed in relief again, but then blinked because now he owed her a new pot. But he smiled either way, he'll buy her one regardless. Not that he thought of that previously, though. He stood up, and nodded to her, and she turned around.

"But next time," she raised a finger with her back to him, "Leave the cooking to me." She smiled at him, and Hanzo looked down at his attire. "Now go change."

(‾‾‾‾‾ΞΞΞΞΞ≡≡≡≡===々々々===≡≡≡≡ΞΞΞΞΞ‾‾‾‾‾)

It was a really funny idea that I had xD. There are some things that have to be written... and this is one of them…

Here's what the Japanese words mean:

Ohayo - Good morning (informal)

Wā - It's a filler; close to 'Wow' in English

Arigatō - Thank you

Sugegasa - Japanese pointed strawhat, mainly worn by farmers

Anō - language filler; close to "Well…" in English

-chan - honorific for a name

Daijōbu - alright/ it's okay