Lovely Complex

By: Rhuben

Summary-Jennifer Knight hasn't had a memorable Valentine's Day since she and her husband split up. This year, she wants to change that, but can't get over her fear and hesitation. [Mrs. Knight/OC]

Jennifer Kacy Knight hasn't had a memorable Valentine's Day since she and her husband split up; got separated to be more exact. A couple years after their marriage she still got cards; messages starting out heartfelt and romantic as the first card she got from him, then slowly dwindling down until they became an afterthought, a "I guess it'd be ok if I send her this" kind of thing. People always say, "It's the thought that counts" but in this case, she'd rather not be thought of at all.

That's not to say that she didn't have memorable Valentine's with her kids. Every year, Kendall and Katie did something that made her love them even more. One year they saved up their allowance to give her a spa day, another year they gave her breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed insisting that they'd take care of all the chores in the house—which led for some damaged clothes and carpets—and another year, they actually (each) recorded a reason they loved her for every day of the year; 365 (730 total) reasons to make her smile day in and day out.

But, a woman did like to have a night out, did like to feel special and wanted from time to time. Was it too much to ask to meet a nice man and to have a good time out on the town, enjoying each other's company? Of course not. But, it was hard to meet a guy in Hollywood. If they weren't gay, or overly tanned, overly muscled, to handsome, too tattooed, and many other excuses she gave, she probably would've found a guy by now.

Which she had.

But, it was complicated.

He had five kids, a demanding job, and travelled back and forth from Los Angeles, California to Sydney, Australia often. Not to mention, she had two kids of her own, whom she managed the careers of, and had no idea what each day would bring her. If that wasn't enough, their kids were best friends, and dating each other.

As Jennifer looked across the table at Ronan McGuire, as he laughed at whatever story Kelly Wainwright and Gustavo Rocque were regaling, she couldn't help but notice him. It was nearly impossible to not notice him. He was handsome for sure, anyone could see that, especially looking in past 50 Most Handsome Bachelors list, and he had this it factor about him that made everybody pay attention to him whenever he had something to say.

But, working with him for the past four years, Jennifer really got the time to know him. She knew him to be a laid-back fun loving kind of guy one minute, who could be serious and hard working the next, and then parental and a worry wart in the next second. Given the roller coaster ride of his life, she was happy that he took the time to go to her for advice when he didn't know what he was doing with his kids. Being a new parent of two years to five kids (technically six) all in their teens would be hard for anybody.

But in this moment, he looked like the bachelor he used to be. Or still was in a sense. He wasn't tied down with any girl, not that it really was a choice. If he did have dates, which was pretty rare, they wouldn't last long due to how often he worked…and because his kids would scare them away.

Jennifer could see the good intentions the kids had; they were worried that if he started dating, that'd be another person in their life that'd be taken away from them. She knew that his kids, after living long lives of abuse, just wanted to have a family together, and they finally had that family when Ronan adopted them. They didn't want anyone else.

This made her feelings for him harder to ignore.

His willingness to take on five kids all at once showed braver, selflessness, and compassion she looked for in a man. It was the same attributes that her former husband had. It's what made her fall for him. However with Ronan, she loved his kids, and wanted what was best for them, and if that meant that she wouldn't do anything with her feelings, then so be it.

"So, Valentine's Day is coming up," Kelly said as her laughter subsided before reaching for her mug of coffee. "I'm sure all of us here have had embarrassing Valentine's stories." Her lips pulled back to reveal her white teeth as she grinned at her friends. "Anyone willing to share."

"No thank you," Ronan commented with a shake of his head. "Between who my kids lovingly refer to as 'Gold Digger', 'Weave Woman', and 'Leggy Lacey', I'd rather not take that trip down memory lane."

He grabbed his cup of hot chocolate and tipped his head back, his Adam's apple bobbing as he took a long sip, letting out an "Ahhhh" before licking at his lips. Jennifer's lips twitched into a smile when she spotted his whipped cream mustache. As he darted his pink tongue out between his lips, licking at the whipped cream, Jennifer found herself gently biting down on her bottom lip, watching.

Gustavo reached out a hand, clapping Ronan on the back, causing him to laugh. Jennifer jumped at the sudden movement, feeling a wave of heat prickle her toes before rushing through her body, gathering in her cheeks. She lifted her mug to her mouth and took a heart sip, the hot beverage burning her tongue and throat, increasing her body heat.

She cleared her throat as she set her mug back down onto the table, quickly looking around to see if anyone had noticed. Kelly peered over at her, eyebrows angled upwards and Jennifer shifted her gaze down towards the table, feeling her heart beat speed up. You're being silly, Jen. You're acting like a little girl with…with what? A crush? You have a crush on this him?

"Hey, not everybody has success with women," Gustavo said to him. "But, you don't have to make up stories." Ronan let out a bark of sarcastic laughter, but didn't say anything else before he rolled his eyes. "Valentine's Day is a load of crap."

"Coming from the person who's never had a date," Ronan spoke up.

"I've been on dates before, McGuire, believe me," Gustavo replied. Jennifer watched as a smile slowly, almost menacingly, worked its way across the younger man's face, his eyes alight with laughter. She could practically hear his next words before he spoke them.

"Your mom doesn't count," he replied. Kelly and Jennifer burst out laughing—Jennifer a little louder than she needed to—as Gustavo chuckled, rolling his eyes. Ronan lifted his mug into the air, as if in salute, winking in her direction. She pressed her lips together before bowing her head.

"Funny," Gustavo replied with a shake of his head. "I hate Valentine's Day. It just puts too much pressure on us males. Chocolates or flowers? Or both? Stay in or go out? Expensive or…not expensive? Romantic or memorable? There's no way we can win."

"And it makes those who are single feel even worse about themselves," Ronan added.

"You don't like Valentine's Day?" Jennifer asked, feeling her eyebrows crinkle together. Ronan shifted his green eyes towards her before making a clicking sound with his tongue.

"I didn't say that," he replied. Jennifer nodded, letting out a sigh. Of relief? "I'm just saying that for someone who doesn't have anyone special in their life, all that romantic stuff makes them feel badly about themselves. And, dare I say it, Gustavo's right; couples get stressed out during Valentine's Day." He gave a shake of his head, continuing to look at her. "No, you see, I'm the type of person that doesn't use just Valentine's Day to show someone that I care about them."

"Oh. That's…" Jennifer trailed off. Sweet? Nice? Interesting? A hint? She tapped her fingernails on the table. "That's a…good way to put it." She let out a huff of air, briefly closing her eyes. And that was stupid.

"So, you don't have any Valentine's plans this year?" Kelly asked, laying her arms down onto the table. "A handsome guy like you?"

"Stop, you're making me blush," Ronan said, giving her a warm smile.

"Yes, please stop," Gustavo said dryly and Kelly shot him an annoyed look.

"But, no, I don't have any plans this year," Ronan replied with a shake of his head. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest before he started to count off on his fingers. "Riley and Patrick are going out on a double date with Kendall and Katie, Rhuben's staying at home to have a Skype date with Dak, and Noah and Lizzie are taking Sydney out so he won't be lonely."

"But then, Rhuben would be alone on Valentine's Day?" Jennifer asked in reference to one of his daughter's. She had been dating the teen icon, Dak Zevon, for a little over a year and a half. Her twin sister, Riley, was reaching that milestone with Kendall. Patrick had been dating her daughter, Katie, for a couple of months, same with his twin brother, Noah, and Dak's little sister, Lizzie.

"No," Ronan replied. "He's flying in tonight to surprise her." He then gave a small grin. "First time in a while I actually have some time to spend to myself and I intend to use it to the best of my ability." He rubbed at his eyes before looking over at Gustavo. "What're you doing?"

"Well, if you must know, I'm spending the day with my mother," Gustavo replied before pointing a warning finger in Ronan's face. He put his hands up defensively, still smiling. "I'm taking her to that magic house near the studio and then to a nice dinner."

"Awww, that's so sweet," Kelly replied. "I'm going to treat myself to some nice chocolates and a nice hot bath." She shrugged. "No one can love me better than myself."

"That's a great way to look at it," Jennifer said, giving Kelly a warm smile. "I'm spending the night by myself as well."

"Reallly?" Kelly asked, her eyebrows shooting up before looking back and forth between Ronan and Jennifer. "Huh. That's interesting." Jennifer put a hand to her head, running a hand over her face. "Well, we all can't be lucky in love." She then glanced at her watch before getting to her feet. "It's almost midnight, I have to get going."

"Yeah, I have to head out, too," Ronan said with a sigh before looking over at Jennifer. "As you may know, there's no telling what kind of trouble my kids can get to when they're by themselves for a long time." Ronan got to his feet, reaching for his coat, sliding his arms into the sleeves.

"Exactly, my kids, too," Jennifer replied with a chuckle. "All five of them."

"I don't know how you put up with them," Gustavo said with a shake of his head.

"You love those boys and you know it," Kelly protested. "It wouldn't hurt to get them something from Valentine's Day."

"I did," Gustavo replied with an actual smile. "I gave them the day off. It's a gift for me, too, because then I don't have to look at them." He then waved his hand in the air before heading out of the coffee shop with Kelly following behind him.

Jennifer glanced up at the ceiling for a moment before quickly finishing her coffee. She set the mug down onto the table before getting to her feet, reaching for her coat, but Ronan beat her to it, holding it out for her. She blinked in surprise before giving him a warm smile, sliding her arms through the sleeves.

Before she could hook her hands into the space between the neck of the coat and the neck of her shirt to free her hair, she felt his nimble fingers slide along her neck—causing a shiver to crash down her spine, spiking every vertebra during its descent—freeing her auburn hair. His warm tickled the back of her neck, the hairs swaying gently. He was too close.

A wave of his Axe body wash rushed over her as she turned around to face him, giving him a weak, warm smile. She looked up into his green eyes and found warmth in them as an ache formed in the middle of her stomach, her heart skipping a beat.

"Th-thanks," she said quietly. She couldn't remember the last time any man had made her feel this way. She dropped her gaze to the floor, pressing her lips together before looking back up at him.

"You're welcome," he relied, tilting his head slightly. Just slightly. Her eyes dropped down to his lips as they parted slightly. He breathed in a small breath of air. "Are you ready to go home?" Jennifer blinked, shaking her head from side to side. Was he tired of being around her? She quickly thought back to what had occurred that night:

The four friends, depending on who you'd ask would they give them that description of the four of them, met up at the coffee shop much like they always did whenever they needed to have a meeting regarding their two bands (Big Time Rush and the DarkElements, made up of Ronan's kids), or whenever they needed to have time to de-stress, to get advice from each other, and just to get away from it all.

They talked about their days, what was going on in their personal lives, what goals they wanted to set for the bands for that year, and Valentine's Day. No, nothing bad. Maybe she laughed too much at his jokes? Or laughed too hard? Or too long?

"Um," she said, clearing her throat. "I drove myself here."

"I know," Ronan replied with a laugh, his left eyebrow twitching upwards slightly. "I just wanted to know if you were in a rush to get home or anything." He slid his hands into his jeans pockets. "I may be rusty at this, but would you like to go get ice cream or something? With me? Like a date."

Jennifer relaxed into a smile and Ronan smiled as well, the uncertainty leaving his eyes as he did so. "No," she blurted out before she could stop herself and Ronan gave him a confused, if not hurt look.

"Ok," he replied with a nod of his head. "No problem, Kace." He was the only person who referred to her by her middle name. She wasn't entirely sure why he did it, nor did she ever ask. "Some other time, then." He gave her another warm smile before making his way out of the coffee shop.

Jennifer put a hand up to her head; staring at the spot he was just standing in before shifting her gaze towards the door as the bell above it rang. She watched as the door slid shut, the glass shaking, distorting the image reflected on the surface slightly.

What are you doing? She thought to herself before she reached for her purse, which was hanging off of her chair. Hiking it over her shoulder, she hurried out the door, her heels clacking on the floor and then on the sidewalk. "Wait." Ronan turned away from his car, sliding his keys into his pockets, along with his hands, giving her away questioning look. "At least let me explain."

"You don't have to explain anything to me," Ronan said with a shrug of his shoulders. "You never have to, you know that."

And she did. It was another thing she liked about him. "This…us, going to get ice cream, we just can't," she said to him.

"It's just ice cream," Ronan replied with a small laugh. "It's not like I'm asking you to marry me or anything." Jennifer twisted her mouth to the side. It wasn't an insult, she knew that, but it still made her heart pang as the words reached her ears. He ran a hand over his mouth at her silence. His nervous tick. His comment was meant to be a joke, but she could see his cool, laid back stature, slowly breaking into a nervous hunch. "Look, I'm not denying that I have grown feelings for you—"

"But, you can't," Jennifer said to him.

"Or that I thought you had grown feelings for me," Ronan finished, a confused look crossing his face. "I'm sorry; I don't understand why I can't like you."

"Our kids…they're involved," Jennifer replied and Ronan's eyebrows shot up.

"And?" he asked. "It's not like—"

"I know, I know, it's not like you're asking me to marry you," Jennifer replied as she lifted her hands to brush her hair behind her ears. "But, it could get to that point."

"Yeah, a long time from now," Ronan replied, a laugh of disbelief escaping past his lips. "Is that a problem? I recognize that we work, Kace. I just want to spend time with you. We can't even do that?" She was silent. "Unless this is about your ex or whatever you are." He tilted his head to the side. "Are you even divorced?"

That statement hit her like a ton of bricks. Was it about Kevin? Their relationship was far from over. She could barely call them acquaintances at this point. She was civil whenever he texted, or wanted to talk to their kids, or asked for child support, but that was all she would put up with. He hit their son, yelled at her, and ran out on them, and that hurt. Maybe more than she realized.

She couldn't say whether or not she was still in love with her ex. At one point in her life, he was the love of his life. She could never see herself loving anybody else, or even having feelings for anybody else. But here was Ronan, a breath of fresh air; a patient man who showed time and time again that he'd be there for her if she needed him to be. That was a wonderful feeling, but it also scared her.

Kevin was the exact same way. Who's to say she wouldn't be hurt again? But, she knew Ronan. She saw how he was with his kids; gentle, patient, compassionate, selfless, he listened to their problems, and worked tirelessly to make sure they were settled and happy and moving on. Who's to say he couldn't do that for her? Who's to say he couldn't do the same for his kids?

Kendall and Katie liked him as a person, a music producer, and as a friend, so there wasn't a big problem in that regard. She did everything for her kids, and she could see he did that for his own. Their kids were all friends with each other, so them dating wouldn't be too much of a problem. For them.

The public was different. Some could take any small thing and make it sound like the end of the world. She was sure people would have negative comments about it. Whenever comments were made about her kids, it nearly physically hurt her. She was their mother, she was meant to protect them from that. She didn't know how it was going to be if all of that was turned on her. She had gone through moments of the nastiest put down and comments from her husband, someone she trusted, someone she loved, and trusted, but strangers were different.

"No, I'm not," she replied quietly.

"Why?" he asked.

Jennifer lifted her head, letting out a sigh. "I've been working in a diner for years since he left," she said to him, her voice cracking. Ronan gave a slight nod of his head, urging her to continue. "Kendall had to get a job at thirteen to help me, and again at sixteen. He's doing this to help James, but he's also doing it to help me. Kendall shouldn't have to worry about me or the finances. He should worry about having fun and being a kid."

"He is now," Ronan replied and Jennifer lifted her hand to scratch her hairline, blinking back the prickly feeling that surrounded her eyes. "You're doing a great job with Kendall and Katie and, trust me; it shows with how they interact with everybody. Well, I mean, he does talk back to Gustavo a lot, but I think that's just because Gustavo probably yelled at him as much as Kevin did."

Jennifer blinked in surprise, prickly heat flooding her armpits. She became hot around the collar. She had never thought of it that way. She even had Gustavo in her house yelling about how much he needed Kendall to come to LA with him. He had even broken her teacup he was that angry when Kendall turned him down. One of the many things that were broken in anger.

But she had never seen Kendall as happy as he was now back in Minnesota. They all knew that everything could end at any moment but he still kept going with a smile on his face. He was growing up to be a handsome young man, one she was growing more and more proud of every day that came and went.

"I get why you're scared." Jennifer never noticed when he had stepped closer to her, but now he had her hands in his, holding gently, yet firmly as she tried to pull away. She couldn't look at him. "Trust me, I do. I see it in my kids each and every day and I know that I shouldn't be comparing situations."

"The thing is they have a connection with you because you, in your own way, have gone through what they did. It's why they think so highly of you and why they've picked up referring to you as 'Mama Knight'. It sucks, I know, but we've both seen how much they've grown over the years. I've seen how much you've grown over the years; and how much you've changed."

"I don't really know what it is that's holding you back," Ronan said, dropping her hand to gently tap her chin, causing Jennifer to tilt her head back to look up at him. "Well, apart from our kids being involved, I can see how that'd be a problem, but it's like I say to my kids, and again, I know I shouldn't compare scenarios but…if you let fear control your life, you're really going to regret it. You'll miss out on a lot of good things that could potentially happen."

"Take your ex for example; when your first relationship started out, you had to have been scared of making a fool of yourself or just the relationship or something. I mean, you ended up marrying the guy so you two were pretty serious. If that's not something to be scared of, I don't know what is, but you conquered that fear."

He suddenly leaned towards her, pressing his lips to hers in a soft kiss. Jennifer felt her eyes widen before her eyes slowly fluttered shut and she kissed him back, angling her head as she allowed her lips to move over his. Just as quickly, he pulled away before giving her a smug smile, his eyebrows quickly twitching upwards when he spotted the blush that tinged her cheeks pink; clashing with her hair.

"I was too scared to do that ages ago," he said quietly, slowly blinking. "But, I've conquered my fear. It wasn't easy but, I did. When you're ready, I'll be here."

"Why'd you do that?" Jennifer asked.

Ronan stared at her for a moment. "Ok, I don't think I can really stress anymore that I like you," he replied after a moment of silence. "Besides, isn't Valentine's Day supposed to be the day where you confess your love for someone else?"

"But—"

"Happy Valentine's Day," Ronan said, interrupting her. Jennifer blinked in surprise before looking down at her watch.

12:07.

Valentine's Day.

Jennifer looked up from her watch and saw that Ronan was backpedaling towards his car, watching her. He gave her his relaxed smile, lifting his hand in a wave before he climbed into his car. A second later, the engine turned on, shaking the car slightly. The loud clunk of the parking brake being released was heard before he guided the car away from the curb, honking the horn twice as he did so.

Jennifer lifted her hand in the air in a wave as a warm breeze blew past her. She got the one gift she's wanted for years; to have someone make her feel special and wanted. She just wasn't entirely sure if she was ready to accept it.

A/N: I've been meaning to do a Ronan/Mrs. Knight story for a while and I thought Valentine's Day would be the perfect day to do it. Hope you liked it.

-Rhuben