Disclaimer: I don't own the HP universe or its' characters. Heck, I don't even own my truck.
Author's Note: The quote is from The Chamber of Secrets. It just really stuck with me.
It is Our Choices
"It is our choices, that show what we truly are, more than our abilities." - Albus Dumbledore
"Snape, Severus."
A scrawny boy with a sullen expression and stringy, black hair walked confidently up to the stool sitting on the dais and plopped down. His confidence was not the kind born of unconditional love, support, and affirmation. There is a particular brand of false bravado used by those who have been neglected, degraded, and told they're worthless all their lives. Some children's spirits deteriorate until there is nothing left and they believe the lies they've been fed; their eyes dull and lifeless. Others realize the deficiency is not with them, but with their tormentors; they are kind and generous, not wanting others to suffer as they have.
Still others, like Severus, are a contradiction of responses. They are easily provoked, insecure, cynical and bitter; angrily wanting revenge for the wrongs committed against them, whether actual or perceived. But under the sneering, disdainful mask lies a good, brave heart capable of loyalty and love; always seeking approval and respect, but never hoping for it. Of course, Severus was not aware of all the complex desires and motivations that helped to make him who he was, as he waited for the sorting hat to be dropped on his head. He was confident that he'd be put in Slytherin.
Professor McGonagall placed the hat on his head and the wait began. After 30 seconds of silence Severus wanted to fidget, but his already iron-clad control didn't let him. He had watched most of the the other first-years be sorted since his last name started with 'S'. He knew that most sortings took a minute or more, but sometimes the hat immediately announced the child's house. He had expected the latter. After all, he knew all about the houses at Hogwarts and was certain that he was perfect for Slytherin. He was smart, cunning, and drawn towards certain aspects of magic that weren't widely accepted and practiced by the other houses. Not to mention, those bullies from the train were all in Gryffindor. Granted, Lily was also in Gryffindor and she was the best person he knew.
Mmm... difficult. Yes, very difficult...
Severus was startled by the voice inside his head. Not just for the fact that the hat was actually talking to him, but also because it seemed to be having a hard time deciding where to put him.
I can't be that hard to place - I'm perfect for Slytherin.
The response seemed to come almost before he had finished the thought.
Slytherin, eh? Yes, there is much in you that would do great in the serpents' house... But that is not all there is; there is more to you than you know.
Severus was stunned.
More? What more could there be to me?
The sorting hat took this as an invitation to enlighten the young man.
A sharp mind and a thirst for knowledge, oh yes... You could do well in Ravenclaw... But perhaps, not...
The hat trailed off, changing its mind after hearing the mental snort that came from Severus at the name Ravenclaw. It didn't even think of mentioning Hufflepuff, knowing the reaction that would get. Which left just one other house. Before the hat could say it; Severus, possessing the quick mind the hat had indicated, reacted to the unspoken (un-thought?) suggestion both mentally and verbally.
WHAT?!?!
"WHAT?!?!"
The sudden outburst after minutes of quiet, startled the professors and the few students who were still paying attention to the sorting. Professor McGonagall looked at him curiously and opened her mouth to question him. Severus, realizing he'd spoken out loud, flushed in embarrassment and tried to keep the stern witch from asking about his sorting.
"Sorry, Professor. I was just... talking to the hat. It's fine."
Are you completely mental, you pathetic scrap of fabric? There is NO WAY I could be in Gryffindor!
Severus' thoughts and emotions were racing. He'd only been halfway sincere when he'd flung the insult about Gryffindors being all brawn and no brains at the boys on the train. He did think that those sorted into the house of lions tended to rush into situations without thinking things through and they were bloody arrogant. But the other half of the insult had been a cover for the feelings of inadequacy that he'd never be good enough, brave enough or popular enough to be chosen for Gryffindor.
Ah, Gryffindor... where the brave at heart dwell! Yes, that house could help you on your way to greatness... To rely solely on your cleverness and ambition does you a great injustice... Loyalty, love, and courage are your strengths as well...
The hat fell silent. Severus anxiously awaited the hat's decision while tying to calm his chaotic thoughts and the paradoxical twin feelings of hope and despair that had bloomed in his chest. He was, quite simply, torn. He'd always wanted to be in Slytherin and still thought that was where he belonged, regardless of what an enchanted, ratty, old hat said. But Lily was in Gryffindor. Maybe if he was in the same house, she would like him the way he liked her. After a few more minutes of silence, Severus realized the hat still hadn't sorted him.
Well, what are you waiting for? Pick already, you bloody hat!
No... I can't sort you.
What?!
It is your choice...
WHAT?!
It is your choice... Choose well, Severus Snape.
That shocked Severus into speechlessness. He'd never heard of a student getting to pick their own house. Again his thoughts turned to Lily. But then he thought of being at the mercy of the bullies, Potter and Black, all hours of the day and night. He knew they'd be enemies no matter what house he ended up in, but at least if he was in Slytherin, he'd have a place of refuge. Lily was so sweet and nice and good; he knew she'd stay his friend whether they were in a house together or not. And, of course, his own leanings toward the more dark arts of magic made Slytherin very appealing. Finally deciding, Severus directed his thoughts to the hat.
I still want to be in Slytherin.
The hat heard the sober note that had entered Severus' voice. The odds of diverting him from this path now was slim, but the hat tried one last time.
Are you sure?
Yes, I choose Slytherin.
The hat opened its' cloth mouth and shouted the sorting for the entire Great Hall to hear, "SLYTHERIN!!"
Author's Note:
Thanks for reading! I do have an idea for a second chapter/sequel thingy, but I don't even have a rough draft written yet, so let me know if you want me to continue the story. Luckily this can also stand alone; if my muse should decide to desert me. :)