Title: The diary of Drusilla volume one
Author: Princess Drusilla
Disclaimers: Belong to Joss Whedon
Note: This is volume one of the Drusilla Diaries.
June 4 1860
Today is my sixteenth birthday. I got you, dear diary from my Uncle Jack. I had a party and presents. But I can't help from being a little sad that I would have to give up childish things. Mummy told me to go to the church to pray to God to think him for years He gave me. My mummy started in prayer for thanks. A weird thought creped in my mind while mummy was in prayer that I wound not be human for long. I shook my head and started to walk down for dinner. The visions came back! I had one during dinner. My mummy thought I had a fit. She is so worried about me.
It seems like yesterday that my daddy would kiss me goodnight and tuck me into bed. I miss him so much. I was seven when he died. He gave me Miss Edith, my dollie. I was his little princess and he was my king. Anyway my mummy had to sell our beloved home. I miss everything. Well I got to go to bed now. Goodnight.
June 5, 1860
My little sister, Anne woke up with a high fever this morning. My poor Mummy is so frighten that Anne might die like her twin brother Andrew. I almost ran to the nearest church to pray. I guessed I prayed so hard and faithfully I lost track of time. I spent all morning there. On the way home my tummy was in pain. I saw flashes of pictures. In the pictures was my Uncle Jack getting murdered. I started to run home and Uncle Jack was there alive. Thank you God. That vision was no more then the Devil misleading me. He mislead me when I was a child. I had visions of people dying. They disappeared when I was around six. I'm fearful that they are back.
Sorry that we haven't talked about me yet. My name is Drusilla Dalton. I have a daddy (d.1850), a mummy, and two sisters named Elisabeth (age 19) and Anne (age 11). I don't have any friends but my dollie Miss Edith. You dearest diary needs a name. I will name you Miss Sarah.
June 7, 1860
I had another terrible dream. It was about Uncle Jack. A monster with a face of an angel was killing him. I wake up and it was over. Oh my God what was that? It sounds like my mummy screaming. I'll be right back
Later
Its Uncle Jack he was found dead in front of his shop. They told my mummy that a wild animal got a hold of him. It was no wild animal. My nightmare came true. Mummy took us to the church to pray for Uncle Jack's immortal soul. Anne's fever broke while we were in church. I think God has blessed our family in our time in need. I really tired Miss Sarah see you tomorrow.
June 8, 1860
I had one more of those cursed visions in front of my mummy. We were washing dishes and suddenly I saw a cave-in at the local mine. I screamed so loud that Anne woke and dog started to bark. Mummy was pale and she grabbed me. She demanded that I would tell her what's wrong. I told what I saw. She smacked my face and spitted on me. Mummy pushed me out of the kitchen. I went to my room until Uncle Jack's funeral. Miss Sarah, I'm afraid that the Devil is cursing me. He has been putting dead animals on our doorsteps. Mummy is so frightened to look outside in the morning these day.
June 11, 1860
My vision came true. There was a cave-in this morning. Four people died and ten missing. My mummy told me at the table to confess my sins. She told me that God can only see into tomorrow not an sixteen year old girl. I have to go to church now. Bye Miss Sarah, see you later.
Later
I told the priest everything, Miss Sarah. I told him of the visions. He didn't listen. The priest told me that I'm a spawn of Satan. A Devil Child. I'm not evil. I'm not. I'm pure and chaste. I'm a good girl. I know he wouldn't hear my innocents. He said all the Hail Mary's in the world cannot save me from the flames of Hell. I wasn't this thing, am I really evil? Mummy was right my visions are affront of the Lord. She was right the Devil is at my heels. Please I don't want to laugh at the cripple.
June 12, 1860
Mother was setting the table when Elisabeth was screaming. She found a puppy nailed to the front door. In it's blood was written my name. Mother was calling me the Devil's imp and his whore. I'm innocent. I didn't sell my soul to Satan. But she didn't believe me. She started to beat me with the paddle. Mother told me to pray for my lost soul. Later after I came home my whole family was eating dinner and they treated me like I had the plague. I went to Anne's room and mine and a vision hit me so hard I scream. Anne said I said the silliest thing. " Both my families are covered in blood. And Daddy is dancing with his princess." I thank that's just silly I don't have two families, and mine is not covered in blood. I know what's to happen. I now know my fate and family's. Forgive me.
June 14, 1860
I don't know who is doing this. I found a dead man on our steps this morning. Who ever is doing this has to stop. We are a God-fearing family. That poor man, he had bite marks on his neck. They think it is a wild animal. But I know in my heart the person who is killing the animals killed this man. It's like I called the Devil to our home by my visions. Mother is right I have to stop these so called visions. They're more evil and people die in them. I'm so scared. Last night, Miss Sarah my dollie Miss Edith spoke to me. She told me that my family is doomed. I'm a damned creature and I will die soon I know it. Miss Sarah, I'm a Catholic and I believe in God and His son Jesus. Why is God driving me this way? I shouldn't be questioning His holy plan for me. Goodnight.
June 20, 1860
I heard daddy speak today. He isn't dead. But I didn't see him. I think that's strange and silly, right? Miss Edith told me soon the Angel of Death will take my family to heaven soon… I saw a cripple man today. He asks for a coin and I walked away laughing. I haven't been going to church lately because the saints scream and throw stones from their pretty windows at me. They say I'm damned. Last night, Miss Sarah I heard a voice outside my window. He tells me things, bad sinful things. I hold Miss Edith close and shut my eyes real tight. But he whispers to invite him in. Miss Edith told me that I am Death and he is my "Daddy".
June 21, 1860
Miss Sarah, I was reading what I wrote yesterday. I don't remember writing that. I can't remember what I did. Like yesterday didn't happen.
Later
I was taking a walk before I went to bed. Guess what?? I meet a man. His name is Angel. What a beautiful name for a beautiful man. His name is so right for him. He accidentally bumped into me. Let me tell you what he is like. He has dark brown eyes and dark brown hair. Very handsome and he is Irish. He is my secret and I think I'm in love with him. Well started to talk and we decided he should court me before he marries me. Angel would be a wonderful husband. I know he will. Ohhh. I'm tired. Goodnight Miss Sarah.
June 30, 1860
I decided write Special Act of Sorrow in you. Maybe just maybe it will cleanse you from sin.
Forgive me my sins, O Lord,
forgive me my sins; the sins of my youth, the sins of my age, the sins of my
soul, the sins of my body, my idle sins, my voluntary sins, the sins I know,
the sins I concealed so long, and which are hidden from my memory. I am truly
sorry for every sin, mortal, and venial, for all the sins of my childhood up to
the present hour. I know my sins have wounded Thy tender heart, O my Savior,
let me be freed from the most bitter Passion of my Redeemer. O my Jesus, forget
and forgive what I have been. Amen
July 2, 1860
Another bad dream, Miss Sarah. I was running from a… I don't know who was chasing me. I ran into a chapel and I was taking my vows to be a nun. But I was half dead and a man gave me blood. That's all I remember. Well Angel is coming over. Elisabeth and her new husband are taking Mother and Anne to the opera. I wasn't invited but I don't care. I hate the opera. I like the theater better. I have been sick with headaches and blackouts. I don't remember anything I do anymore. Well I hear Angelus at the door. I'll be back.
Later
He doesn't love me. He doesn't love me. Angelus doesn't love. He brought me a rose and a white ribbon to put in my dark hair. We shared our first kiss and we did something bad. We did something that was really bad. Only married people do it. I'm a bad girl. My family came home and found us. My mother demanded Angelus to get out of her house. She beat me until I was black and blue.
July 3, 1860
Early this morning I went downstairs and found my family is dead. They are covered in blood. My vision came true. I saw Angel down there he was drinking from Anne's small throat. Anne was screaming and begging God to spare her. It's my fault. It's all fuzzy and someone is screaming loud. An angel with blonde hair is here to take them to Heaven. Beautiful and graceful she is. God must have chosen her to take my family to Heaven.Why is she rolling on the floor and kissing my Angelus?
Maybe I dreamed that Angel was here last. But how do you explain the rose and the white ribbon? He wasn't here. He wasn't here. It was a bad nightmare. Oh Lord wake me up now.
1860
I don't know the day. I don't remember anything. I'm in a convent. The Devil won't find me here. A young nun named Sister Mary Grace told me I'll be here for a while. She told me how the Bobbies found me screaming in the front room in my home. They said that I was screaming about demons and the angel of death. They found my family dead. Even when after I claimed I killed them they took me here. I looked at Sister Mary Grace and told her I want to be God's Eyes, God's Ears, God's Hands and God's Heart. I need to be close to him. He will save me from Angel. She looked at me with a look of pity. She took my arm and showed me to my room.
The Sister's see me as impure and dirty. I cursed those around me. My poor daddy, mummy, Anne and Elisabeth forgive me. My dealing's with the Devil has killed you all. God punished them for my sins. My soul is damned.
Later
She talked on and on about my duties here in the convent. I blinked until she grew angry and tugged on my arm until I ouch. She told me to go to bed. And I waited until she was gone to say my prayers. I said the one my daddy taught me when I was little.
Now lay me down to sleep
I pray to the Lord for my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
I pray to the Lord my soul to take
Goodnight
July 10, 1860
Dreams of Angel let my warm heart beat one day more. I dream of Angel and we chase and eat the saints together. We kill them for sport and dance on the saints lifeless bodies. Angel and I drink their blood in wine glasses. We dance in the corpses and sing all night long. My family was there and they were begging to be immortal like me. But I cut their heads off.
But I had to wake up and be back here. It is it still night. He's outside my window. I hear His demonic laugh. My head hurt all today and it went pop. He is still laughing and the people He brought with Him are talking loud. They have to be quiet. They will wake up the Sisters. Mother is with Him. Why is Mother here? I hear my sisters here too!! I'm going home. I will dance and sing.
1860
This morning when I woke up I found Miss Edith in my arms. I heard Him at my window again last night. He calls to me and I listen to Him. We danced and danced. I sing the songs of death to Him and laugh. Mother was in the stone church walls away from sin yelling at me. She screams Devil Child. Over and over she said that. I thought she was dead? I don't like it here but I will be saved. I will.
Precious Blood of Jesus, Save us
Immaculate Heart of Mary, Pray for us
Sacred Heart of Jesus, Have mercy on us
Oct 20, 1860
I take my vows today. I have not written in these pages because my life is coming to an end. Or a new beginning. This is my last time writing you Miss Sarah. This will be my testimony to a Slayer in the year of our Lord nineteen ninety-six. I will be hundred and thirty-six old but forever sixteen. You be just sixteen yourself. I had visions that we will meet. Angel will be here soon. I will take my demonic vows. I will go to Him as a bride and leave as His whore. I know my fate and I accepted it. And in time so will you. You will never read this. Maybe if God truly loves us He will let my diary fall safely into your hands. Father Giles and Sister Mary Grace will be here shortly. Don't judge me, Slayer. For if you judge me, you judge yourself. I have been chosen to be what I will become. I know the pain I will cause. This my fate and the fate of my victims. I'm saner than you think. In Angel's own little way he loves me. He will love you too. Maybe a lot more than me or Darla. But in the end you will have to kill what you love. Don't try to understand me, Slayer. You never will.
" Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen"
Drusilla Catherine Dalton
Age 16
Born: 1844 Died: 1860