Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency has taken over my life and also my writing recently so I hope I'm doing my boys justice. I've also rewatched "Very Erectus" and the whole season too much in that pst month and have a lot of feelings because of it hence the fic.
If a year ago anyone told Todd Brotzman that he would be following a map and digging up buried treasure with an eccentric, auburn-haired, not-psychic-but-something, holistic detective he would have rolled his eyes and called their bluff.
Yet here he was, driving a mud-stained and bullet-hole covered Jeep, leaving the bodies of two dead cultists behind in the aftermath of a black cat induced shark explosion, and transporting an energy device made out of pieces dug up using a dead man's treasure map.
It's certainly not what Todd expected out of life, but neither was the blue leather jacket-wearing, pink bandage-covered mess of a man beside him, who turned his world upside down and changed it for the better, as much as he hated to admit. He didn't think that when the zany and annoying yet strangely endearing man broke into his apartment, wearing an absurd ensemble with a yellow leather jacket, that that same man would ever become his closest friend.
Dirk was eccentric, obnoxious, utterly confusing, spontaneous and everything Todd wouldn't want in a companion and on the other hand, why would a man like that ever befriend a human disaster, compulsive liar, and complete and utter asshole like himself? It's not like anyone else wanted to.
Even before he became estranged from his family, Todd never really got along with the rest of the Brotzman clan, outside of Amanda. He wasn't concerned with the good of the family, it was all about himself, his band, and his music.
It's not that Todd was a bad kid, he was just a little more rebellious than his family had wanted for him, which attracted him to the wrong crowd of people. The people he hung out with at band practice after taking some shots in his teens weren't really his friends and he felt disconnected from them. They spent time together and yet Todd felt like an outcast in his own group, but he tried to force his way in. That cost him big time.
Todd didn't want to get a job after high school or even go to college. He wanted to focus on the one thing that seemed to give his life any meaning: his music and The Mexican Funeral. He enrolled in college, but didn't go to class.
Failing out of school would have been a disappointment to his family if they ever found out, but he thought it'd all be okay if he made it big with his band. To drop out of school, get an apartment and the funds to live off as he funded his artistic endeavors, he lied to his own flesh and blood and faked a disease plaguing their ancestors and descendants.
Pararibulitis was no laughing matter for the Brotzmans and having felt his own heart sink when he witnessed his Aunt Ester having bad days, he knew that this was a fool proof way to get money for expensive medications. In doing that, his family slowly lost money and became destitute, due to his hypothetical medication money which went towards new guitar strings and rent, but that money wasn't enough.
Rent and paying taxes are two constants in life and as the economy does down prices go up - prices an unemployed, starving artist couldn't afford. He couldn't ask his family for more misent because they thought it was going to his meds and the only things of value he had was the music gear. It wasn't as if Mexican Funeral was talented or could make it big, so he took it upon himself to break the band for some cash to pay rent and work on his solo career.
Todd proceeded to lie to his band, the one group of people that he still hadn't estranged from him, yet were still total strangers. He stole their band equipment, sold it to make a quick buck, and lied to the band. He told them the equipment was stolen, filed it with the police, claimed his parents hated them and then broke up the band. It wasn't far off anyway, considering they were only still together for the off chance an agent would surprise them at one of their far-from-sold-out gigs.
He then lied to his parents, told them he couldn't play with the band because he was sick, hopeless, and the band was trying to screw him over due to his handicap, and that was that. Mexican Funeral was done for and Todd had managed to lie his way into a few more months of time to focus on himself and him music. Then he heard about Amanda.
Amanda and Todd were close siblings growing up, but lost a lot of contact when Todd became plagued with his so-called disease. However, the two siblings deeply cared for each other through it all, which was only strengthened when his sister, a young and beautiful wild child, had her first attack. His sister showed signs of the disease, which he was lying about, and expressed them, and the horror of seeing her go through it caused him to turn his life around, somewhat.
His focus did a 180 as it went from his music to his sister, his flesh and blood. He told his family he wasn't sick anymore, but by the time they had to pay for Amanda's medication, they had nothing to spare, they were broke.
He then gave Amanda every extra penny he had of his low income, went through a slew of odd jobs, and did everything in his power to make right what he had made irreparably wrong. He spent every second of his spare time at his sister's place to give her compassion, help her with simple tasks like washing dishes that she couldn't perform without getting frostbite, and the encouragement that she would get better. His words were empty because they were all lies, but no one knew any better and if it brought a smile to the face of his sister, which constantly was struck in fear, so it was worth it.
Todd lied to everyone in his life and each person knew a completely different truth. Due to this fact, nobody knew who the real Todd Brotzman was. Was he a struggling artist trying to make ends meet in a horrible punk band or was he a depressing charity case with a chronic illness trying to get by? Todd was a mystery and didn't know how to solve it himself. His life was a lie and all his guilt built up each and every day, and it got to him.
It was no wonder he had no friends when he screwed the closest people to him over and then spent the rest of his days wallowing in self-hate and trying to get through the day to support the one and only thing he had left to live for, Amanda. It was no wonder Todd was an outcast and was completely and utterly alone, and Todd knew that. His mistakes made him the asshole he was, one who was unattractive and repulsive to everyone and everything he met.
Who would want to be around someone so devoid of life, unhappy with their existence and pointedly cynical whenever he had the energy to live. Todd was a train wreck that was both waiting to happen and already had and he knew he deserved to be alone. Then why did Dirk stay?
Dirk who was a waking ball of sunshine and eternal optimism was staying along for the ride with the farthest thing from his personality. Dirk who insinuated himself into Todd's life to make him a better person using his adventurous spirit and his contagiously charming disposition. Dirk who was boyishly handsome and endlessly brave, which more likely than not was because he had no idea what danger he was headed for most of the time, had decided to stay with him, Todd Brotzman, grade-A asshole.
He was a man who screwed over anyone and everyone who came in his path, who had way too many metaphorical skeletons in the closet, and whose apathy and disdain for living each day made him the farthest thing from an enjoyable person to be around. He was a man with no purpose, no achievements, and no prospects, whose only notable achievements were being a lying asshole, an unemployed former bellhop and the guitarist in the failed punk rock band that he broke up out of selfishness.
He was a coward and a liar who hid from the world and allowed his lies to build up until they consumed him because that was less horrifying than people realizing the truth. He was a man whose self-loathing ran so deep in his veins that it was internalized and whose love for his sister was the only thing that stopped him from disposing of the man he hated.
He was a man that didn't deserve the overly caring companion he got, the companion that clung to him like a dog starved of attention, the companion who enthusiastically supported with undeserved compliments and enthusiasm every moment he could. He didn't deserve Dirk Gently in his life and he honestly didn't see what Dirk could possibly see in the broken man sitting next to him.
But Dirk saw something and whatever that was compelled the universe to push the young psychic through his window the day his life changed, the day of Patrick Spring's murder at the Perryman Grand.
The whole day was vivid, and increasingly so, especially after having received the tank top the auburn-haired man gave him which triggered flashbacks. None more intrusive than the moment he saw himself, in the tank top that was currently clinging to his body under a bloodstained luxury coat. But the moment that the man sitting next to him, who was currently gazing out the window with a boyish grin and the air of an energetic and excited child, fell through his window and karate-chopped his way into his life, his life changed.
He didn't notice it then, as he was too busy trying to ward off his invader, who clearly had no idea how to attack him. Who wouldn't be dumbfounded as a man in the yellow jacket and abhorrent fashion sense rambles on about the supposed mundane life, boring sex life, and bizarre occurrences in the monotonous life of a zombie like bellhop.
He remembered the glimmer in the man's piercing blue eyes when realization dawned on him and he declared that the befuddled bellhop was the new assistant to the detective in front of him, other wise know as Dirk Gently. He threw the strange man out of his apartment with his bag, hoping to never see him again, but the universe had plans and after the events of the past few days he realizes how thankful he is that the universe did.
Dirk, whether he liked it or not, was a positive influence on his life for a number of reasons, and Dirk gave him purpose and companionship when everything else seemed to go up, literally and figuratively, in flames. He was shocked at how easy it was to talk to a man who was so utterly confusing, and how a man who had no idea what he was doing most of the time, would be the one to help him most of all.
In a matter of days, he had told Dirk secrets that nobody else in his life was even aware of and he had ventured farther outside his home than he had been in years. This man was helping him get out of the metaphorical rut he was in and made him want to become a better and more honest person for his friend's sake and for his sister's.
It was the first time in his life someone was calling him out for his excuses and holding him accountable for changing his behavior, and it was something that the other man made so easy to accept. With a couple of his antics, the detective could completely turn his mood and work ethnic around, and he found himself falling into the detective's traps into doing so consistently, but not altogether unwillingly.
A year ago he would have blown the person off for telling him to change how he lived his life, but both Dirk's disappointment in his shortcomings and faith in him as a person, made him feel horrible to hurt the man's feelings. It was painful to see the man next to him look like a kicked puppy and it was worthwhile to see him smile - not the usual smiles he radiates all the time, but the kind of rare and truly genuine smiles that he receives from the broken, but seemingly eternal optimist when he lets his guard down.
The Dirk he was faced with in the forest was very much a different Dirk than the one who broke into his apartment. Their trip helped them get closer, not only to solving the case but also as people, as friends, as partners. He saw the vulnerable man who the world spoke to, but also left completely deserted. He saw the man behind the facade who like Atlas, held the world on his shoulders alone, but never failed to make the most of and make light of his predicament.
He saw the man who was a victim to his powers as opposed to being blessed by them, and the man so broken from spending so many years alone without any companionship, that he didn't realize what a friendship actually was when it stared him right in the face. He wanted to know more about that Dirk, the insecure mess of a man who he wanted to change for.
He couldn't help but admiring Dirk in everything he did and was frustrated that the man was growing on him. He swore after all the trouble the detective put him through at the start that they'd never become close, that he wouldn't be the man's Watson, yet here he was. Every time he tried to separate himself from Dirk, he found himself getting more wrapped up in the case and in the other man's life, for better or for worse.
He certainly hadn't expected that he would find the man's loud fashion sense or spontaneous behavior endearing. He never thought that a couple of puppy-dog eyes, eyebrow raises, smiles, challenges, and smirks could get him to anything for the man next to him. He hates that he's finding the detective charming and caring and to a fault and that listening to his incoherent, heavily-accented rants were slowly becoming less annoying and more enjoyable.
It killed him that he was getting attached, too closely and too quickly. It was completely unlike him to feel this way, but then again Dirk brought out a completely different side of him that he either didn't know about or forgot its existence. He would deny it to Dirk, Farah and Amanda to save face and seem like he was annoyed with the detective most of the time, and he was, but it was becoming a welcome and endearing annoyance, opposed to what it once was.
Dirk had embraced him into his life with both arms and while it was taking some extra time, he could see the feelings becoming reciprocal, no matter how hard he tried to fight them.
He didn't know what Dirk saw in him, but he was willing to wait around and find out through hell or high water; and if a year from now anyone tells Todd Brotzman that he will be following a map and digging up buried treasure with an eccentric, auburn-haired, not-psychic-but-something, holistic detective, he would tell them there was no place he'd rather be.
Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! I plan on doing more writing too so any love, inspiration and criticsm is always welcomed. Thanks loves!