We Start on a scene of a collection of geek-esque movies (Star Wars, Star Trek, BTTF I will be the three). The Star Wars movie, is on a small, Beta Tape, The Star Trek is on an Laserdisc, and the Back To The Future movie is on VHS. Zooming in slowly until all 3 are in view, the narrator says:
NARRATOR: " Movies. Geeky, 1970s-but-mostly-80's movies that are only brought up by nerds and geeks, because somehow, there is a difference between the two. You thought your time had amazing stuff? *scoffs* NO! They just had to be sooo showy-offy about each other! Did you know that there was a "war" with this plastic things? A *BLEEP*- ing WAR?!"
Adam walks in on the desk.
ADAM:" Let me stop you there…yes, there was a war between this type of home entertainment. The truth is it happened because of, yes, you guessed it…"
Room darkens, zooms in on Adam holding up a flashlight to his face, like a ghost story.
"COONNNNSUUUUMEEERIISSMMMMM!" *shriek!*
~Normal lighting, zooms out~
ADAM: *Walks over to the LD. "Woa-ho-ho! I've made some big mistakes in my life, but not like this!"
NARRATOR: "What?"
ADAM: "Laserdisc was a mistake. In 1975, MCA was designing a patent for a home-video CARTRIDGE, that was to house a disc that was not meant to be taken out, and was to be played on any video game console of that time. The mistake came in when Pioneer misread the blueprints in 1978, thinking that this was supposed to be a DISC that was played much like RCA's later CED, or 'literal video record'. So, they only payed attention to the design of what was supposed to be the disc inside the cartridge, and made it 10 TIMES BIGGER!
*Shows patent-like blueprint diagrams of the separate designs.*
As for that name, the original name, 'Discovision' was misinterpreted as movies based on disco music/groups. So, in 1980, for once and for all, the format was given the most uncreated name on the planet….LaserDisc. A disc, read with a laser."
NARRATOR: *sassy* "Ok Mr. Know-it-all. You wanna expose VHS and Betamax now?"
ADAM: "Gladly! In 1975, JVC manufactured a Beta tape competitor, the VHS, or Vertical Helical Scan, or Video Home System.
*Has a blackboard in which he's pointing these acronyms out.*
In the case of VHS winning just by quantity/quality, the Beta tape became well-beyond forgotten. Just goes to show ya how much America loves ther plastic-product fights."
NARRATOR: "So all of this lesson was just a—"
ADAM: "Scam? Like the DVD/Blu-Ray War?"
NARRATOR: "*Sigh* Gag me with a spoon."
ADAM: "I'm Adam Conover, and I ruin everything"
NARRATOR: "No *bleep* Already I wish I was a DIVX disc at its 47th hour!"
END