A/N: This was my entry for the Deadpan Contest. Congrats to all the winners. :)

Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris owns the SVM characters. Paramount owns Footloose, I believe. Please don't sue for me borrowing the story and a little dialogue.

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Ugh…I lived in the smallest of all the SmallTowns, USA. It totally sucked there. We couldn't drink, smoke, listen to certain music, or read certain books. (You should have seen my father's face when he found my copies of the Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris…it wasn't pretty.) Hell, we couldn't even dance. My town was so crazy that there was actually a law that you couldn't have sex before you were married. Not that I'd had sex or anything, I'm just sayin'!

I was living my boring existence, just biding my time 'till I could get the hell outta Dodge. Everyone called me 'Crazy Sookie' because I tended to do really crazy things. I think the worst was when I straddled two moving vehicles and started playing chicken with an oncoming Mack truck. I started dating Bill Compton that day. He yanked me into his truck just before the mack truck hit me. Yeah, I guess I am crazy. I didn't have real feelings for Bill or anything…he was just a way to pass the time.

He was always pressuring me to have sex though. Hey, I might be 'crazy' Sookie, but I knew the dangers involved with unprotected sex. This town was so ass backwards that no one in town even sold condoms! The holier-than-thou, bible thumpers who ran this town thought it would be saying it was ok to have sex if we could get condoms. Idiots! Couldn't they figure out why we've had several girls turn up preggers? Besides, I am a romantic deep down, so while I wasn't really saving myself for marriage per se, I wasn't going to give it up to the likes of Bill Compton!

So, I was just trudging along, counting down the days 'till I could finally leave, when HE moved into town. Oh wow, was he hot! Eric Northman. He and his mom moved in with her brother and his family after his dad left them. I knew I wanted him…bad. On his first day of school, he had a run in with Bill. He put Bill in his place too, which I found incredibly sexy. I was really getting tired of Bill, but I wasn't sure about ending it. He took the chance to date me even though everyone thought I was crazy.

Bill couldn't stand being one-upped by anyone - so, he and his friends started spreading untrue rumors about Eric. Pretty soon, most of the town was against him. I hated what was happening, but didn't know how to fix it. I was surprised at how badly I wanted to fix it too. Eric had become friends with Alcide Herveaux and a couple of other guys. I still wanted him, so I finally asked my best friend, Amelia, about him. She also happened to be dating Alcide, so it was easy for her to find out some stuff. She was so happy that I wanted to dump Bill.

I found out that Eric was working at the mill under Sam Merlotte. Sam was a good guy and I was really glad that he didn't pay any attention to the gossip about Eric.

I finally worked up the nerve to make my move with Eric. I had heard that he had been busted with drugs at school. There was no proof, since he flushed it, but he was definitely on all adults' shit lists. I knew how it felt, since I seemed to be at the top of some of those lists too. I followed him to an abandoned warehouse and watched him do some amazing dancing. I felt my panties dampen, which had never happened to me before. I was drawn to this guy and I couldn't help myself.

He was about to leave, so I rushed down to his car and startled him by leaning in his passenger window.

"I thought I was alone, Sookie."

I chuckled, "Not in this town, Eric…there are eyes everywhere."

He smirked at me. I decided to be brazen, "You wanna kiss me?"

He just looked at me. "Someday."

I got in the car, "What's all this 'someday' shit?"

"I get the feeling you've been kissed a lot and I might suffer by comparison."

'Fuck.' He'd heard about my reputation, which couldn't have been farther from the truth. Bill had spread the rumor that I was easy when I dumped him. My friends knew the truth, but in a small town, the rumors were always more fun to believe.

"You believe everything you hear Eric? I thought you might be different…" I got out of the car. I was pissed and hurt. He got out and followed me to the train tracks. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and got my foot stuck in the track somehow. Then the train was coming and I began to scream. Before I knew it, I had been tackled and was lying on the other side of the tracks, next to a visibly shaken Eric.

After a minute, he stood and extended his hand to me. I took it and he pulled me up. I thought he might kiss me, but no such luck. He offered to give me a ride home.

When I got in, I knew I was late. And sure enough, my dad was waiting on me. He gave me some lecture about enforcing a curfew on his congregation that he couldn't enforce at home. He, of course, thought I was drinking, or smoking, or something else I wasn't supposed to be doing. I set him straight on all that, and then he asked who I was with. I wasn't ashamed, so I told him I was with Eric. Of course, he told me I wasn't to see him anymore and I lost it. Yeah, my dad and I had issues.

Despite what my dad said, Eric and I kept getting closer. He had decided that he wanted to change the law about dancing so we could have a prom. I was stoked, as was most of the senior class. There were some who didn't like the idea, but they were sticks in the mud anyway. The adults in town went crazy! I hated to imagine what they would be like if he'd tried to change the sex law! They even started burning books, and I knew I had to get out of that town!

One night, Eric decided we needed a break. He took me, Alcide, and Amelia out of town so we could go dancing. I was so excited! That was the night we discovered that Alcide couldn't dance. He hid it from Amelia, and didn't think I'd noticed, but he finally admitted it to Eric. They made a pact that if Eric was going to face town council, then Alcide was going to learn to dance. What I wouldn't have given to have been a fly on the wall for those lessons!

Bill was always pissed that I'd dumped him. He wasn't happy when Eric and I sorta started dating. He cornered me one day and asked me why I was with Eric. Then he insulted me, I called him stupid, and he hit me. I lost it. I took a pipe to his truck and did some damage before he practically knocked me out and drove away. I couldn't go home looking the way I was sure I did, so I tried to get Amelia to come help me out. Of course, her phone went straight to voice mail. I had no choice but to call Eric.

He came and helped me. He was so sweet to me, but he wanted to do some serious damage to Bill. I had thought about giving him a music box as a thank you, but come on…what would Eric do with a music box? Seriously?

I really wanted him to kiss me, so I decided to try again. "Think you might ever kiss me?"

He looked deep into my eyes. I couldn't have looked away if I'd wanted to. He touched my cheek very softly as he bent down. He took my face in his large hands and pulled me gently to him. His lips brushed against mine, and I felt a fire building in my stomach. I also felt a very strange, but wonderful feeling in my womanly parts. When he deepened the kiss, and I felt his tongue requesting entrance into my mouth, I snaked my arms around his torso and I granted it to him.

All higher brain function stopped as I began moving my tongue in time with his. He pulled me closer against his body and I could feel something very hard pressing against my thigh. Oh boy … but I wasn't turned off like I'd always been with Bill. Oh no, the complete opposite was the case with Eric!

I knew I had to break the kiss, but heaven help me, I didn't want to. Finally, we both had to breathe, so we broke away, our foreheads touching as we tried to get our breathing under control.

He took me home and all I could think about was the way I felt when he kissed me. I decided I was going to give him a HUGE advantage going into the town council meeting the next night. I'd already gotten a shirt made that I couldn't wait to show him. So, I spent the rest of the night (before I passed out anyway) finding everything I could to help him.

I caught up with Eric the next day at school and found that he was pretty nervous about facing the town council. I told him to take a deep breath and I pulled out his secret weapon. I had marked all kinds of bible verses that talked about dancing being a good thing. Eric was floored.

"How'd you know where to find this?"

"Are you kidding me?" Did it just slip his mind that I was the preacher's daughter? I mean damn … I was just glad all that drilling finally came in handy.

He thanked me with one of his mind blowing, toe curling kisses, and I swear, I wanted him to take me right there in the hallway … right up against the lockers.

That night, the town council meeting was very crowded … it was standing-room only if you want to know the truth. I was standing at the back so I could flash Eric my shirt without everyone seeing it. I finally found him sitting with his mom, looking very sexy in his suit. He kept looking around, and when he finally made eye contact with me, I flashed him. His eyes lit up at the sight of my 'Dance Your Ass Off' shirt.

When it was his turn to speak, the adults went crazy again. I loved my mom when she spoke up and said he had a right to be heard. God bless her.

I couldn't catch a trace of his nerves as he spoke to the town council. The look on my dad's face was priceless when Eric pulled out the Bible and started quoting verses in favor of dancing. Take that, you hypocrites!

We didn't get the vote we wanted, which I figured would happen. Eric was ready to give up, till he had a little talk with Sam. I was in my room when I thought I heard Eric downstairs. I crept down and heard him talking to my dad. What was up with that?

After he left, I walked into the room with my dad. He and I had a really good talk and things began to improve between us. I found out when Eric called me later that he had been talking to my dad about us having the prom right outside town, at the mill. He figured if he could get my dad on his side, he wouldn't need the whole council. I couldn't argue with his logic and got very excited. We both knew the next morning at church would make or break what we were trying to accomplish. Before we hung up, Eric told me he loved me and I reciprocated. I had a very hard time sleeping after that!

The next morning was tense at church. Everyone knew that something big was going down. Finally, my dad addressed the congregation and he gave us his blessing to hold the prom! I couldn't believe it. I found Eric outside after church and he lifted me in the air as we hugged each other. A bunch of us decided to get to work right away on the room we were going to be using at the mill.

After many nights of hard work, it was PROM NIGHT! I got myself ready and couldn't decide which shoes looked better with the ice blue dress I'd picked out. I finally decided the silver, strappy ones would be the best. My mom snuck in and told me how beautiful I looked. I just shrugged. Then she presented me with a corsage. I thought she had done it, but she was quick to tell me that she didn't. I knew then it was my dad. I teared up and wanted to give him a big hug, but mom reminded me that he'd only deny it. Then I heard Eric pulling up outside.

I went out to meet him and my breath hitched. He was nothing short of a god. He was so handsome, I knew I would not be able to keep my hands off him tonight. He opened the door for me and I thought it was so sweet.

When we arrived, no one was dancing. They were all lining the walls and staring at each other. Eric and I headed right for the dance floor and began to move to the slow song they were playing. I motioned for people to come on and finally, couples started joining us. Then, Eric heard a commotion outside and I heard Amelia screaming for Alcide to "Kill the son of a bitch." We both ran outside and saw that Bill and some of his group had jumped Alcide. Eric flew over to help our friend. Amelia joined me and we were both screaming warnings to the guys of someone trying to sneak up on them.

After a few minutes, Eric and Alcide got the upper hand. I loved watching Eric kick Bill's ass. It was great! When they were finished, Bill's group were all on the ground as Eric and Alcide made their way to Amelia and me. We went back to the dance and Eric went running in.

"Hey, hey, what's this I see? I thought this was a party…LET'S DANCE!" The music started and everyone joined in. We had the best time. Before I knew it, I saw Alcide telling Amelia to "just watch.". Then he started dancing and it was the greatest thing I'd ever scene. I laughed my ass off. We all danced and had a blast.

As the night was winding down, Eric took me into his arms and began to move me around the dance floor. He pulled me very close to him and whispered in my ear, "I made a trip out of town earlier today, Sookie."

I looked up at him in confusion, but when I saw him lift that one eyebrow, I knew what he meant, and I was very excited and filled with desire for this man, but I was also scared to death. We left the dance and went for a walk, and we ended up down by a pond where we were completely alone.

I became a law breaker that night.

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I felt myself being shaken as Eric called my name. "Sookie….Sookie, my lover, time to wake up."

I opened my eyes and was amazed at my surroundings. I was in my bedroom at the farmhouse, lying next to Eric, who was nuzzling and leaving a trail of wet kisses down my neck. I moaned as he moved down my body and buried his head between my legs. It wasn't until I heard his fangs pop out and felt them sink into my inner thigh that I realized I had just had one amazing dream. That realization was followed by a huge orgasm coursing through my body.

I had to stop falling asleep while watching movies, but I felt completely footloose and fancy free as Eric buried himself in me!