So this is a short little one shot for day one of Quinntana week. I would love to say that I'll have a story up for each day but to be honest I was lucky to even have the time to type this little thing up. The first prompt was Quinntana begins and for me that last scene in season two with Santana, Quinn and Brittany always held so much potential. So I thought why not run with it.
QW14 Day 1- Don't Think
"I just want somebody to love me, is that so much to ask?"
Santana continues to stare at her broken and crying friend. She and Brittany exchange worried glances before turning their attention back to Quinn. She's hurting so badly right now and all Santana can think about is how much she wants to take that pain away. She and Quinn had what was quite possibly one of the most volatile and aggressive friendships in the entire world.
I mean for God's sakes Quinn had told people about her boob job just so she could take back her old spot on the cheerios. And she had given the girl freaking mono, not because she was really all that into Trouty-Lips but because she wanted to knock Quinn down a peg or two. They had tried to beat the crap out of each other on more than one occasion and had called each other names and they viciously insulted one another constantly and yet…
When Santana was first discovering she was gay it had been Quinn to whom she had turned to for support, who had been her shoulder to cry on as her world spun out of control. When Quinn had gotten pregnant it had been Santana who had made certain that the rest of the school knew under no uncertain terms that Quinn was off limits to those who might have tried to take advantage of her fall from grace.
When Santana had discovered that Brittany was dating Artie and wasn't going to leave him even after she had done what Brittany had asked and opened up her heart to the girl, it had been Quinn who she had gone to for comfort. And when Quinn had moved back in with her mother this past summer it had been to her house that Quinn would sneak off to when she couldn't stand to be around the woman any more.
They had done some awful things to each other over the course of their friendship but neither of them had ever questioned its existence or its strength. They were too alike to get along perfectly and peacefully but as far as Santana was concerned nobody got her like Quinn did. And now her best friend was in the process of going through a complete breakdown which had been triggered by getting dumped by a guy who didn't even deserve her in the first place. She didn't think for a moment it was the entire cause of her friends breakdown, but it was certainly the final straw for what must have been building up for quite some time.
She had no idea what to do to make things better for her friend, all she knew is that she couldn't stand to see the heartbroken expression on Quinn's face for one more second and that she had to act.
"Quinn?"
Quinn looks up at her as the tears continue to stream down her face and Santana doesn't hesitate. She leans in and, albeit slowly, presses her lips to Quinn's in a soft and deep kiss. She reaches up and runs a hand through Quinn's hair and is pleased when Quinn begins to respond and starts to return the kiss.
When Santana finally pulls back Quinn is breathing a little heavier than the intensity of the kiss should warrant but considering how out of the blue it was, it probably wasn't all that out of place. A glance over Quinn's shoulder and she can see the hurt and shocked expression on Brittany's face, who when she notices Santana looking at her quickly forces a smile onto her face.
"I… I'll just leave you two alone for now." And Brittany quickly gets up to leave. And Santana has a front row seat to see the tears begin to fall down Brittany's face as she leaves the room and Santana has to fight the urge to chase after her.
She turns back to Quinn who is looking at her, her eyes wide with confusion and fear. And Santana can see that Quinn is just waiting for her to leave, to once again have someone else be chosen over her and now Santana truly comprehends the consequences of her actions.
If she got up now, she could probably catch up to Brittany. She could make things okay, she could get Brittany back and they could finally be together. But if she left, it would destroy Quinn. Quinn who was absolutely certain that no one did or ever could love her. And so now she had a choice to make. She could either choose Brittany whom she had been chasing after for as long as she could remember or she could choose Quinn. Quinn who drove her up the wall, Quinn who she argued with constantly, Quinn who…
Santana can hear the door click behind her but she doesn't pay it any mind as she slowly leans forward again and begins to kiss Quinn once more. Quinn hesitantly begins to kiss her back, at first unsure of herself before she slowly gets more and more into it.
For now Santana was content to keep things as they were, but Quinn was a fantastic kisser and while she would love to take things further she knew she couldn't let it go farther than this. And she was right in thinking that way because the moment Santana had innocuously rested a hand on Quinn's knee she felt the blond girl stiffen and pull away.
"I… I can't… I… what's going on?" Quinn asks, her voice cracking as the doubt and uncertainty begins to get to her. She just doesn't understand, why is Santana kissing her and why… why does she like it so much?
"You said you just wanted someone to love you, well here I am."
"I… but I'm not… I like boys… or at least I thought I did…"
Santana rolls her eyes. "And how many boys have you been with exactly? You've dated Frankenteen and Trouty-Lips and you hooked up with Puck once. Not exactly the pinnacle's of the male half of the species. And look maybe you're not gay but…" Here Santana gently runs her fingers down Quinn's shoulder and watches with satisfaction at the small shiver that seems to run through Quinn. "When I was kissing you, you kissed me back. Tell me did you like it or was it just reflex? Someone kisses you, you kiss them back."
"I… I don't know…" Quinn says softly, looking down uncertainly.
Santana reaches forward and gently tilts Quinn's chin up so that she is looking at her, "Look I know you're probably really confused right now and you have all these strange and confusing emotions running through you but maybe that's a good thing?"
"What do you mean?"
"One of your biggest problems Quinn is that you think too much. You analyze and over analyze everything you do, and then you second guess yourself. Maybe the best thing for you to do right now is to let your mind be a whirlwind, and don't try to think and analyze but instead just trust your instincts, you know, go with your gut and just do what feels right."
"Maybe…"
"When I kissed you did you like it? No, don't think, just answer did you like it when I kissed you?"
Quinn nods her head.
"Then really what is there to think about, I like being with you, you like being with me, let's see where this takes us."
"What about Brittany?" Quinn asks softly. "I thought… aren't you in love with her?"
"My feelings for Brittany are… lets go with complicated, I'll always care about her but I'm here with you right now, not her. I kissed you and when Brittany left I had a choice, I could have gone after her and I probably could have gotten her back or I could stay here with you. The fact that I didn't hesitate to stay here tells me that as much as I may care about Brittany… she isn't the one."
"And you think I am?" Quinn asks her sounding unsure.
"Not a clue." Santana says, laughing lightly and she manages to get a little laugh out of Quinn as well. "I just know that when it came time to choose between you or her… I chose you. And to me, well that says something. I don't know if we're soul mates or if we're destined to be together. Hell, half the time I don't know if I want to hug you or strangle you-"
Quinn lets out a little giggle at that and the sound brings a warm smile to Santana's face. "But the thing is, I want to find out. You say you want somebody to love you, well here I am. Let me try. You and I are both so screwed up, both so overly confident and yet so extremely self-conscious that I don't think anybody will ever get us the way that we do each other. In the end we'll either be the most epic love story in the world or we'll kill each other." Santana playfully nudges Quinn's shoulder. "I figure we'll have our answer by next Thursday."
"I'm not ready to come out… I… I don't even know if I'm able to be in a relationship with you." Quinn says after a moment.
"Well then that makes two of us because I'm not coming out until after I've left that hick town. And as for being in a relationship with you… well let's just take it one day at a time and instead of worrying about defining it, let's just see what happens."
"I think…"
"Don't think." Santana interrupts before leaning in to kiss Quinn and this time Quinn meets her halfway.