Disclaimer: I don't own anything or ever want to own anything related to Warehouse 13 or make any profit as a result of its production. It has provided a platform for the creation and development of my personal world. For that I say thank you.
A/N: Thank you for all comments and reviews. They are always appreciated and considered. Keep crying, keep laughing. Without one, you can't have the other.
Claudia,
We have landed. The Regents have set us up in a small bungalow. It is in a comfortable neighborhood and people seem genuinely friendly. However, it still feels like they are keeping watch, but I suppose that is not all a bad thing. Safety is of some concern of theirs still, as is mine, since they do not know what the continued repercussions of my former activities may have on us. At least at the warehouse there was a higher level of security. So much for our attempt of trying to get away from the warehouse. Time will tell. They also continue to provide us with our means of living for the moment, despite Myka's job at the library, so we really cannot complain too much in this early stage. My 'new' occupation is as yet undetermined. I do wonder sometimes if we will ever be completely severed from the warehouse.
Vanessa has been a wonderful host and a great resource. She has certainly been an added plus in acclimatizing ourselves to our temporary city. I can't say that I find Atlanta the most enjoyable of places to live. Far too hot and humid for me and I abhor living in air conditioning. Vanessa assures me that it is unusually warm for this time of year and the weather will temper soon. Myka seems to have adjusted just fine. I find that quite odd for someone who grew up in Colorado, but she says she is enjoying the idea of a winter out of the cold and snow. We'll see how she feels come Christmas time, and yes, we still plan to be there for Pete's big holiday bash. Have you heard if Joshua will be able to make it?
We have both been cleared, as they say, from further mind digging and are on a need to see basis. It really has become quite a bore. We are all well aware that the after effects will remain with us all forever. I've already proven that once before. I just get the bonus package in life. We are managing well enough, but we have our difficulties. "You've got the tools, use them." Vanessa can be quiet annoying sometimes but is as much a part of our family as all of you. She does not realize that she slips occasionally. She still carries some guilt I fear for something she had no control of and cannot see that she was ultimately the key to my rescue and continued existence. I see it on her face whenever she sees the scar on my forearm.
My hand makes slow progress, but I am able to make a loose fist now. The specialist has given alternative options, however the thought of yet another surgery does not appeal to me. There are still many concerns regarding the amount of nerve damage. Myka has spent far too much time taking care of me from that stand point. I do not wish to wake up in a hospital bed to her worried eyes yet again, regardless of how short a period of time. I do miss writing left-handed though, as vain as that may be.
I'm very glad to hear your new found chess skills are causing Artie distress. Steve has informed me that it is no longer a matter of who wins, which I never doubted (Artie is so predictable), but how long it takes for you to win. I understand through our Atlanta connections that he has even humbled himself by now asking for various tips to improve his own game. There is nothing more rewarding than your student becoming the teacher. You will learn just as much, if not more, as teacher as you did student. I must say, that internet chess game has been great fun with you. I'm glad we are able to continue our games, but you must watch your knights!
Sorry to make this so short, but dinner appears ready. Yes, Myka has learned to cook. Well, she makes a good attempt. No more smoke now. Actually, she makes some wonderful meals. We only have Artie to thank for getting us along on feeding ourselves.
I know you think these letters very old-fashioned, but it seems appropriate. I'm sure you prefer the ease of e-mail, but I am still a very old lady. Take care, and I expect that video of the new grappler in action very soon. Don't lose much sleep over it.
Yours truly,
-Your HG
"Oh, really, Myka. I don't understand how it is you can bare this weather. It is so oppressive." Helena pulled the front of her tank top away from her body several times in an attempt to create some circulation of air against her moist skin as they walked down the sidewalk in the full sun.
"And England isn't?" Despite herself, Myka couldn't help but enjoy the view Helena's actions created and smiled. She was discovering a new found appreciation for being the tallest girl in high school.
"I didn't say that either. If I'd wanted to go back there, we'd be in London by now. There are far better places to travel to and I don't understand why you'd wish to spend time there either. I've spent enough time in England for both lives."
"Honestly, Helena, I thought you'd want to go home. I was just throwing out options, okay? I'm trying to figure out where we are going to end up and you're not exactly helping. Obviously, Atlanta is not high on your list of places to live."
"England is no longer home," she grumbled, fanning her shirt again. "If you wish to visit I will gladly take you. Aside from the fact that my home is no longer mine, it holds far too many memories of another life. I prefer to concentrate on this one."
Helena frowned, staring at the walk way in front of her feet, negotiating obstacles and people more by a sense of Myka's movements beside her than actually looking in front of her. It was a constant point of discussion lately about their immediate future. They had yet to decide where to settle. Helena was getting anxious to move on to somewhere. She'd spent too much time stationary during her recovery already and the need to explore weighed heavily on her.
"So, you're going to avoid it all together? We met there you know. We could always break in. Knowing how your brain works, I'm sure you can come up with a few things to occupy some of our time in all those secret places of yours."
In actuality, the one time Helena provided a private tour they had made use of a few of the many secrets places in the house. Helena was more than happy to share those spots and was very proud of herself in showing Myka the many nooks and crannies the home hid. But upon leaving, she became increasingly melancholy.
"Darling, as tempting as that may be, those secret places you care to refer to so often have been used far more than I care to remember. I will not throw you into that category. You are far more worthy." She dared a sideways glance at Myka, nearly running into another pedestrian before being pulled out of the way by Myka's quick reflexes. "I'd much rather have our own secret places."
Myka barked a laugh. "Like the warehouse library or that little room by the dark vault? I hate to tell you, Helena, but I don't think ANY of our so called secret places were all that secret."
"True. You did have a unique way of giving those secrets away." Helena laughed along with Myka now. It was true they had very few secret places, if any, left. Those they had not given away themselves Claudia somehow always found and wiped from the camera footage.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Myka mumbled.
"Why? Everyone else seems to have." Helena burst out a loud laugh, grabbing the attention of their fellow pedestrians.
"Me?! What about you?" Myka shouldered her slightly off balance.
"Yes, well…one could make, a, uh, a point, uh…Oh, look, here we are. I'll see you in an hour?" Helena stopped short at their destination in front of a small brick building.
"Caught with your pants down, huh?" Myka cocked her head with a smirk on her face, very proud of herself for catching Helena in one of her own verbal traps.
"Actually, a number of times, but we agreed that the past is the past, in this case a century ago, and you have no wish to be made aware of anymore details." Helena smiled back mischievously, nodding her head once.
"I don't think Claudia would agree," Myka continued, smiling.
"Well, that's her own damned fault. At least she finally learned how to knock…for the most part. Look, I must go. He gets very annoyed when I'm late and talks incessantly about the newest reality show, which he knows very well I have no interest in nor knowledge of, as my punishment."
"Fine. I know. I'll see you later. I'll get the groceries."
"Oh, and Myka, don't forget about tomorrow's appointment," she threw over her shoulder on the way through the door.
"How can I forget? It's all our lives seem to revolve around now," Myka grumbled at the closed door.
Myka waited on a bench outside of the building, three bags of groceries at her feet. She looked at her watch again. Helena should have finished her PT session fifteen minutes ago. Standing up, she walked over to the building, peaking in through the window. Helena sat stoically listening to the therapist. He was animatedly demonstrating something with his hand as she stared at the mobile appendage, then glanced down at her own. She resisted knocking on the window as she looked at her watch again. She wasn't sure why she was so time conscious. It wasn't like they needed to be anywhere. They were just going home to make dinner and possibly a walk before Helena hooked up on the internet for her evening game with Claudia. Habit she supposed.
She sat back on the bench under the tree leaning her head back and looked through the branches at the sky. It wasn't the same, she thought. She missed the big maple in the garden. She sighed sitting back up straight. She was getting more restless as the days passed. At first the sedentary time was a relief, but as the days dragged on, she was getting restless. She wasn't used to staying in one place for so long. She kept reminding herself they were here for Helena's recovery. They needed the time for their recovery. Soon, PT would be more flexible and they could actually travel. That was the plan, right?
She stood up grabbing the cloth bags of groceries before the door opened and was greeted by a forced smile. She was getting used to this routine. PT was becoming more frustrating to Helena as time went by and results seemed to be so slow. She'd learned to walk home in silence and let Helena talk when she was ready.
"Hey, you. What was that all about? You never stay longer than the appointed time. You're usually like a kid trying to be the first one out of school. End up getting detention?" She handed a bag over to the hand reaching out.
"Detention?" Helena scrunched her face up, looking up at Myka questioning the term.
"Detention…it's an after school punishment." Helena was clearly still confused. "Never mind. What's up?"
"Oh, just getting a little overview on our progress, or rather the lack of it. Once again he says it can take a long time." Helena was staring ahead of her focused on her destination this time. "What is dinner? Did you get Twinkies?" she asked with child-like excitement. Myka would never forgive Pete for bringing Twinkies home.
"Well, that's one way to avoid a conversation," Myka trailed off. "Yes, I got your Twinkies and another bottle of hot sauce. I'm not sure I like that Steve taught you how to make his secret burritos, but I'm not complaining either. On the healthier side, I picked up some fresh vegetables. I thought we could roast them and use up the quinoa from the other night with a salad. What time is your game with Claudia tonight?"
"I'm not sure. She hasn't texted me, yet. Last I knew they were off on some great big adventure…" A sad smile crossed the woman's face.
"Oh. Well, that explains the last few evenings. And here I was thinking you just wanted to work up a sweat with me." Myka was desperately trying to turn the mood of the conversation around and apparently failing miserably.
Helena stopped suddenly, Myka stopping a few steps ahead turning around to meet the dark eyes boring into her.
"Is that what you really think, Myka?" Helena spat. "That you come second to a chess match with Claudia? I'd already declined Claudia earlier in the day. That is how I know they are away. She said they were…oh, what did she say?" Helena stared up into the trees above her in thought. "Oh, yes, 'up to our arm pits in rubber duckies.' I'd love to know what that is all about," she added wistfully. "I still have the conversation on my phone if you need proof!" she ended defensively.
Myka set the two bags down on the sidewalk and stared at Helena for a moment. Despite the venom behind the harsh words she could see the tears fighting release from their dam. She knew better than to say anything about them or make that first move of physical contact. No comforting allowed. It would shoot a cannon right through the emotional dam holding back the deluge.
She looked to the same trees Helena had previously sought aid from and took a deep breath, trying fiercely to put things in perspective to the true origins of Helena's anger. She spoke quietly and gently. "Helena, what's going on? I was joking. I've never questioned the reasoning behind your advances since we've been together. I knew you set it up when I came home. I'm not stupid. I know what a nice dinner with my favorite wine and the Schubert Octet has the potential to lead to. Hell, I don't need the dinner and wine. The Schubert is a nice touch, though. You know I love that romantic crap and so do you. You, sweetie, are the Queen of seduction and you know it. But I also know when you're doing it." She gave Helena a soft smile, fighting the urge to touch her. "I don't think you found me fighting you off. If you remember correctly, I believe it was that damned irresistible neck of yours bent over the sink washing the dishes that ended us up in bed, 'cause we never finished them. So, really, Helena, what's going on?"
Helena glared at the ground picking up her bag. "Nothing," she said flatly. "Let's get going. I'm famished. We have vegetables to prepare and I need a shower. Perhaps my 'damned' irresistible neck will distract you later. You also seem to be quite fascinated by that lovely reminder of a bump on my collarbone recently. It least I can feel that now," she spat walking away with her sack of groceries.
Myka was given no alternative but to follow as Helena left Myka far behind her on the way home.
They prepared dinner in silent synchronicity. They ate on the back patio with little conversation; limited mainly to the characters Myka met at the grocery or the library and the people she watched waiting on the bench. No mention was made of their exchange on the long walk home. They sat on the bench swing enjoying the cooling evening air, much to Helena's relief. Myka sat with her knees pulled up, leaning against Helena as she periodically pushed the bench with her feet. One of Helena's request's; if they couldn't have a big maple they were certainly going to have a swinging bench. Helena jumped as her phone vibrated in her back pocket causing her to clock Myka in the back of the head with her shoulder.
"Oh, Myka! I'm so sorry. I thought I took it out of my shorts when I got into the shower. Are you okay?" She rubbed the back of the woman's head gently. Myka turned to sit up on the bench, replacing Helena's hand with her own.
"I think I'll live. It's Claudia looking for a re-rematch. Go log on." Myka smiled before accepting the quick kiss.
Helena looked at the text. "How did you know?"
"I don't know. I thought we decided we didn't really care. That's Claudia's job." She continued to rub the growing bump on her head.
"Are you sure?" Helena's eyes gleamed with anticipation.
"Positive. Go have fun and I'll clean up the dishes. You two haven't had a game in a while. I don't want to interfere with Claudia's education, as long as you promise I get control of the back of your neck later."
Helena laughed standing up and leaned down for a quick kiss. "If you get to the back of my neck that's not all you'll have control of."
Myka just smiled back conspiratorially. "I know. That's what I'm counting on…the rest of your life I think you asked, remember?"
"I did, didn't I?" Helena mused.
"Tenerife, my dear. Now go." Myka patted her butt as she hopped into the house with a squeal of surprise.
Myka had just finished with the dishes when she got the text.
-You're playing a joke, right? I'm playing against you…no offense. It's funny
-No. Doing dishes
-Seriously? Mt. Helena erupt tonight? She sucks - in HG terms that is. I may actually win
-Huh? No offense
Myka walked into the living room. She wiggled in behind Helena looking over her shoulder to watch the game.
"How's it going?" Myka couldn't resist the bare neck exposed to the cool breeze from the window.
"Fine. Why?" Helena responded distractedly bending her head forward with a moan, her eyes unconsciously closing. Even Myka could tell which side was in favor and it was not white.
"Just asking. Why are you always white?"
"Need to know basis, I think the expression is."
"I'm going to go take a shower while you finish your game. Speed?" She licked the layer of salty moisture settled on the bare skin before getting up.
"No. Only on weekends or when Artie is hovering. I think things need to speed up, though." She looked up from the screen smiling and winked.
Myka left her, heading for the bedroom, pulling her phone out on the way up the stairs.
- She's been 'off' since PT and not talking yet. Don't let her win…she'll know and ignore you for weeks. How many moves?
- Not many, but she can always throw something at me I don't see. Go for the back of the neck.
- What? How do you know!?
- I know. Dude, the corner chair is not that dark on movie night. And seriously, Die Hard? She's not that quiet. We ALL know. Geez…
- Expect a quick finish. Already went for it :)
- I noticed. She'll have me in three moves. Damn it!
Myka laughed tossing her phone on the dresser.
Myka had been dozing when she felt her head gently shifted to the pillow from the slender shoulder. Helena was just covering her with the sheet when she perched herself up on an elbow. "Where are you going?"
Helena turned her head around before she walked out the door. "I'm hungry and very thirsty."
Sitting up against the headboard, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes that had started to settle in and pulled the sheet up under her chin against the chill attacking her damp body. Helena returned with two glasses of water, a small bowl and a Twinkie on a tray and another Twinkie in her mouth.
Myka chuckled accepting the glass of water. "I can only imagine what Pete would say if he saw you right now; naked, holding a tray and a Twinkie sticking out of your mouth."
Helena finished the cake before commenting, "I would hope I'd be more concerned about what you would say to Pete if he saw me like this, especially the cream filling. Really, darling, you have a very unfortunate habit of pulling other people into our bed at the most inappropriate times."
"Uh, no, that would be you. We already know what he thinks."
She sighed settling in against the headboard beside Myka. "I suppose you're right, on both accounts." She finished half the glass of water, setting it aside before picking up the bowl.
"Do I even want to know?" Myka asked with raised eyebrows, unable to clearly see what the bowl contained.
"Know what?" Helena picked up a small round object tossing it in her mouth.
"What's in the bowl," Myks said trying to peer into it.
"Jalapeño stuffed olives." She offered the bowl. "Want one?"
Myka made a face. "Really? I'm seriously beginning to doubt your nationality and your age. And don't think I don't know you lied for your passport. I know you're biological age and so does Vanessa. It is not 36. Don't worry; your secret is safe…so far." Helena smiled devilishly, throwing another olive into her mouth. Myka shook her head. "Are you pregnant?"
"Unless there is something very miraculous you are hiding from me, I would say that is highly unlikely." She chuckled. "Why would you even ask such a thing?" She asked eating half of the other Twinkie and offering the other half to Myka, who shook her head with a distinct 'no'.
"Um, let's think...You're eating Twinkies and jalapeño stuffed olives for an after sex snack and I don't want to know what else before you came back up here. And you're brushing your teeth if you plan on kissing me again tonight."
"So?" Helena almost wrinkled her nose, confused.
"Didn't you have weird cravings when you were pregnant?"
"Not that I recall, but that was quite some time ago. Was I supposed to?"
"I don't know. I've never been pregnant and never really planned on it. I always thought it was a myth. I never asked my sister and that's just not stuff my mom talks about."
Helena continued staring at her while eating more olives. "Oh, yes. I remember now. People equate pregnancy with weird food cravings like…pickles and ice cream, right?" Myka nodded. "Do you not like pickles and ice cream?"
"Not together. Do you?"
"I've never tried it. When are we going to the amusement park? I still want to ride a roller coaster."
"Wait a minute…what?" Myka was confused. "Are you having some sort of post-orgasmic hallucination?"
Helena started laughing. "What are you talking about? I don't think there is such a thing…is there? Myka, none of this is making any sense."
"Exactly!" Myka reached over the bed to pull the blanket off the floor and over them, which Helena promptly kicked off of herself.
"So, let me get this straight," Helena continued, "You don't like pickles and ice cream, so you don't plan on being pregnant." Myka stared at her not flinching as Helena ate the last olive. "Myka, you don't even like pickles. Although, you do like ice cream…"
"Helena, what are you avoiding? What happened in PT?" Myka finally blurted softly, staring down at the blanket.
"What are you avoiding? You're the one not getting pregnant," she asked irritated.
"That's a different conversation. I said I never planned on it. I didn't say I wouldn't. Now tell me what is going on that has you rambling on like a bloody idiot."
"I think you're actually getting the hang of that, though it still doesn't sound right…"
"Helena…"
Defeated, Helena crashed her head against the headboard and stared at the ceiling.
"Jonathan and the specialist have been consulting. They do not feel the physical therapy will bring back the full use of my hand. There is too much damage. I'm just not able to manipulate the muscles to gain the necessary strength. I'm not even sure why I have an appointment with Dr. Jordan tomorrow." She looked at the clock, "Or rather today. There may be some hope with surgery to reconnect some of the nerves and now is the best time to do so. Regardless, the likelihood of a full recovery is unlikely."
"What is their definition of full recovery?"
"I would imagine what it was before I was so fortunate to have a lead pipe brought down upon it multiple times." She finally allowed herself to sink down into the bed with her head in Myka's lap.
"All this time you never said it was more than once. How many times, Helena?" Myka whispered into the darkness, stroking her back.
"I'm not entirely sure. I passed out after the second strike. Perhaps three times? What would be the point in continuing when your victim wasn't conscious? I wouldn't have…didn't."
Myka wrapped the blanket around the shivering body shaking with tears. They'd learned to sit quietly until the other exhausted their emotional release. It never stopped the silent tears of the listener, though. This was how they managed now. Myka handed the tissues and a glass of water over to Helena when she was ready, then sunk down into the bed pulling the exhausted body against her.
"What would you accept as full recovery?" Myka asked, pushing the damp hair back.
"I wish I could build that grappler and write left-handed again, but I don't expect that anymore. I know why Claudia doesn't send me updates. She's waiting for me to help build it. She needs to accept that I'll most likely never be able to do that again and just build the damned thing. Right now, for me full recovery is being able to carry a glass of water to you without having to use a tray. I want the strength to do that. If I get more, then all the better. I won't complain."
"Did Jonathan think Dr. Jordan had a way of doing that?"
"Possibly."
"Then we have a Dr.'s appointment tomorrow. I already took the afternoon off. But you need to brush your teeth."
Helena sat up searching Myka's eyes. "Helena, I know earlier was about escape. I know that. I'd lie if in part it wasn't for me too. You needed it." Helena sat up and leaned back on her feet looking hurt. "It's okay. You're not using me. I needed it. I needed you. It's not like your past. I know that's what you're thinking. We both do it. Sometimes that's what we need. I still love you and I know you love me. I don't think you heard me complaining and I'm sure the neighbors would attest to that, too. Sometimes, it's the best sex we have." That got her a smile. "We have sex for a lot of different reasons based on a lot of factors and that's okay. It's okay because ultimately, I trust you to love me. Please brush your teeth because I need to make love to you to heal both of us."
"I thought you liked those olives?" Helena smiled sadly.
"I do, but I really don't want to taste them on you right now. Preferably, sometime before we get to Dr. Jordan's."
Claudia burst into the kitchen. "Hey, guys look. I got a letter from Myka and HG!" She waved the envelope in the air. Steve tried to grab it out of her hand. "It's addressed to me, Bucko."
"Ofen it hb! Wad hay fay?" Pete asked putting his sandwich down.
Steve and Claudia turned to Abigail.
"He said 'Open it up, what do they say.'"
Steve looked at her suspiciously. "Did Myka teach you Pete speak before she left?"
Abigail just shrugged her shoulders. "Well come on, Claudia. What he said!"