Thought I'd do a small songfic on Leafpool/Crowfeather, even though I've not read Starlight. -ducks- But I will! I hope you like it. It switches POV's each line of lyrics to Leafpool and Crowfeather.
Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors or this song. It's Jesse McCartney's Just so You Know
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Just So You Know
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How can a she-cat fall in love so quickly? I always told myself from day one of becoming a medicine cat that I would always follow the rules, and no matter what wouldn't fall in love.
And yet, I have.
And not just fallen. I tripped, and dropped. But it feels so good, being loved like I am. Sometimes, I'll get mad. Why can't medicine cats have mates too? But then, reality would strike, and I would feel guilty, scared. But I can't stopped loving him. He's like the sun in my sky. The heart in my body. He's the thing that keeps me alive.
And yet, we can never truely be together.
I shouldn't love you, but I want to
I just can't look away
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move
I can't look away
She...StarClan, I never thought I could fall in love again. I always thought...after Feathertail died, I would always feel like I did when she died, when she took her last breath; worthless, vunerable...alone. But, she...she brung love back to my life, made me feel again.
StarClan, how did I fall so hard?
I know, beyond knowing, that she's never supposed to have a mate. Never have kits or to love just one cat more than another. But, that only makes my heart beat faster.
How do I get myself into these messes?
First, a forbidden love with Feathertail. And now...I can't stop thinking about her. I can't look away from her. She's what I think about from the moment I wake up, and even through my sleep.
And yet, even though I don't want to believe it, I know we can never truely be together.
And that just rips my heart out, because I love her so much.
I shouldn't love you, but I want to
I just can't look away
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move
I can't look away
The crescent moon shone high over the forest, turning everything a milky white. The shadows were pitch black, and the bracken rustled to silver as a tabby she-cat stepped from the parted bushes.
Her amber (A/N: If I'm not right, sorry!) eyes shone brightly, silver in the moonshine.
"Crowfeather?" she whispered so low that it would give anyone who heard a second thought on if she spoke or not. "Crowfeather, are you there?"
"I am, Leafpool," came the reply, and a dark beyond dark gray cat, the nearest color to black you could get, stepped from the bushes, his eyes trained on hers. They stood there a moment, only staring at each other, before they met and pressed against each other, purring loudly. Deep inside, Leafpool knew she shouldn't do this, but at the moment that was pushed aside as she trained her thoughts on the tom pressing into her. But, as soon as the greetings were over, Leafpool opened her uneasy eyes and stepped away from the tom, her eyes betraying hurt, sadness, and longing. Crowfeather stared at her, hurt reflecting her own as he stood to, stepping toward her.
"I can't, Crowfeather," she whispered again, a whimper causing her voice to crack. How painful it was to say those words. "I can't."
And I don't know, how to be fine when I'm not
Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Crowfeather could feel his heart crack each time she said that. He loved her, and though he knew she could never be with him, he pushed it aside, ignored it, like some annoying fly. But, he knew it would never go away.
"Please...don't say that, Leafpool," he choked, shaking his head, as if trying to shake her words out of his ears, forget them. "Please. You know I love you."
"No, Crowfeather," she meowed, her eyes shining with pain and agony. "Don't say that. You can't love me. You just can't." Crowfeather's heart felt as if it were going to break in two. Leafpool's eyes shinned, reflecting his own agony that nearly shattered his heart. "I'm sorry." She turned and disappeared into the woods.
And Crowfeather was left alone.
Just so you know
This feelin's takin' control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let 'em win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to get over you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
How painful it was for me to pretty much shove him away. But...I know we can't do it. I hate doing that, I hate not being with him. It shatters my entire being. But, it's impossible.
StarClan, what do I do? What can you do when you love someone so much, and can never be with them?
Either that's ironic, or in my case, redundant.
Redundant.
How can I make a feeling stop? How can you keep love away? How can you just ignore it? It can't be destroyed. Maybe I should've never talked to him. Maybe I wouldn't be in this position.
And yet, as much as I want to push him away, to get over him, at the same time, I don't.
Now that's ironic.
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way?
I...I love her...love her! And she...she pushed me aside. How...how painful... And yet I don't know why. I feel...feel more depression and longing than anger and pain. The more she says that, the more I want her. The more I want to press against her, to run away, and escape the boundaries that keep us from being together.
But, I'm forced to hide my feelings, though it's so strong.
I'm forced to turn away when I see her, to act as if she's 'just another ThunderClan cat'. And I do. But it's so painful.
And even though she doesn't want to admit it, she feels the same. I see it in her eyes. I...I wish...
StarClan, I wish that your boundaries didn't keep us apart!
She's devoted to the warrior code, and that makes me love her harder, longer. I'm still falling further and further, and I feel that I'll never hit the ground, or when I do, it'll all be over anyway...
It's so horrible, feeling this way, and to never be able to show it?
StarClan, what did I do?
And I don't know, how to be fine when I'm not
Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
How can I make this stop, before it destroyes us both? Before we...get too far in? Before I turn and run away from everything - my clan, my friends, StarClan - just for love a cat I can't love?
If I knew how, maybe I wouldn't be in this position.
How can I pretend to not love him, just walk away? With each step I do take away, my heart cracks. Crack. Crack. Crack with each step, running or not.
And when we're close...I feel our hearts beat as one.
I feel it!
I'm not just pretending, not just saying it. I really love him.
If only I chose the life of a warrior. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't.
Again, maybe I wouldn't be in this situation.
Just so you know
This feelin's takin' control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let 'em win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to get over you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
How can it be so soon after Feathertail's death that I love someone else? Was it always there? Sometimes, I think so hurtful of myself for loving anyone other than Feathertail. But, as much as I hate to admit it, I feel I love her more, and that's more painful, because so many things keep us apart.
Why are you doing this to us, StarClan? Why can't you just let us be! Why does everything have to happen to us! To the forest? Why?
I guess I'll never know.
I feel so empty without her here. So very empty. And the pain is agonizing.
I see Squrrielflight and Brambleclaw, and I feel even worse.
Why can't that be us?
This empitness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...Been waiting here
I wish I could pull away and go back to how it was before, but obviously I know I can't. How can I, when I love someone so much I would give up my life, my hopes and dreams, and even StarClan? How I can get over him?
How can someone in love get over anything?
Just so you know
This feelin's takin' control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let 'em win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to get over you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
The rivers water gently cascaded over the rocks, flowing smoothly and softly. Two amber eyes stared back at Leafpool as she gazed into the azure water, two ambers eyes reflecting her pain, her longing.
And most of all, her misery.
For she knew she had pushed Crowfeather away. Too far away this time.
For a moment, she stood there, staring back into her own gaze, before she sighed, lifting her paw and splashing away the image that haunted her; her own reflection.
"Crowfeather, what will I do without you?" she asked the mirrored and broken reflection in the water. "How can I keep telling myself no? Please come back."
The rustling of lichen and bracken behind her made her gasp, and she turned, her amber eyes wide. Two yellow eyes mirrored her own feelings as a striking dark gray cat stepped from the distrubted bushes. For a moment, Leafpool only stood there, watching Crowfeather, and he did the same.
"Crow-Crowfeather," she gasped, her eyes shimmering with sadness, longing, and happiness at one time, there depths shining brighter than they had in moons.
"Leafpool," his cool and beautiful voice replied, filled with dripping longing, his eyes reflecting her own emotions. And in one fluid motion...
They were both pressing against each other.
"I'm sorry, Crowfeather. I love you. It's wrong, but I do."
"It's okay, Leafpool. I love you too."
Just so you know
This feelin's takin' control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let 'em win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to get over you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
We were finally together.
And not even StarClan could tear us apart.
Just so you know
Just so you know
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to get over you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
---End of Story---
And that's it! What do you think? I myself thought it was actually pretty sad. Just remember, all I know is that they fall in love, and I don't know how because I've not read Starlight yet. JUST REMEMBER THAT WHEN YOU REVIEW!!!! Sorry. I had to yell. I enjoy yelling. lol. So, tell me what you think.
SoL