The usual disclaimer applies ... don't own um ... just using um!

Title: Scrubbing Away the Past

Goren and Eames Ship

Rated T... for now

Spoiler: In The Dark, Season Four and Frame, Season Seven

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scrubbing Away the Past

He has this nervous energy. His apartment is beyond clean, yet he still scrubs and disinfects. He uses Maguire's wax on his toilet bowl, tub and sink. It glistens, shines so brightly, it blinds. Next he moves on to the kitchen, also clean, but not clean enough. He hasn't slept or eaten since his brother died, since Eames found out that Mark Ford Brady was his real father. He hears a knock on his door ... he really doesn't want to answer it, he just wants to keep scrubbing away the last two years of his life ... his life without Alex. The knocking continues. He stops scrubbing and goes to the door. It's Alex.

"Hi. Can I come in?"

"Of course."

"Wow ... is it time for inspection?"

He laughs, half heartedly, but he laughs.

"No, no ... I have nothing else to do since Ross made me take two weeks."

"I see. I thought you might hook up with Lewis."

"He has a girlfriend ... and work. I didn't want to intrude. What brings you by, you don't seem yourself."

"You can still notice that?"

"Of course I can. Do really think I'm that self absorbed?"

"No, I don't. Do you have a beer for an old friend?"

"Sure."

He walks into the kitchen and she follows. She leans up against the counter and he hands her the, now, opened bottle of beer. He sits at his kitchen table and leans his chair back.

"Thanks, I needed this ... and you, my friend."

"Yeah ... why?"

"I was feeling down is all."

"Oh and I'm such a joy to be around ... I get that."

Alex smiles.

"Believe it or not Bobby, there are times that you're the only one that I want to be around. I just don't usually act on it."

"Did her death have something to do with it?"

"Her death?"

"I know."

"Who's death? What are you talking about?"

"Rose. She died in the psych ward. Jenny's mom … Rose, Butch the mechanic … that night."

"How did you find out?"

"So that is what this is all about?"

"Yes ... she looks down and blushes ... I caught your cold that night."

They both smile at the memory.

"I told you I would take you to see Nate. You made me drive ... you never let me drive."

They both laugh.

"I was too horrified to drive ... after giving birth myself, ya know."

"I knew."

"We were good together, Bobby ... for a long while."

"I really loved you Eames ... I want you to know ... I really loved you."

He looks down, looks sad ... lost, more than he has in the past two years. Recalling his love affair with Alex has made him long for a life that he missed out on.

"Bobby, why did you tell me to back off?"

"Why did you?"

"Don't answer my question with one of your own."

"You walked away and never came back to me, but how could I blame you … I never did."

"I blamed you though … for not finding me and I don't mean when Jo took me. I mean when I walked away from you. You should have tried harder."

He wants to shout at her ... he wants to push her away ... he wants to pull her towards him.

"Women."

"That's too easy."

"Right now ... that's what I have."

Alex places her beer on the counter and heads for his door ... she made a mistake coming there. He follows and stops her by placing his hand on the door blocking her exit.

"Let me go Bobby."

He leans his body up against hers ... close to her ear he says ..."I had nothing left to give you. She was taking my spirit away. I was so unhappy … you, you didn't need that, you didn't need me."

She turned into him.

"No, but I wanted you."

He let go of the door and turns away from her … he hated himself … he loved her. He sunk down on his couch and placed one hand over his eyes. She sat down by his side.

"Remember that one week-end … it was the subway series? We stayed in all week-end and ate junk food. We watched the games, argued about the Yankees and the Mets … you did the Goren dance. Remember?"

"The Goren dance?"

"Yeah, every time the Mets got a run off the Yankees … you got up and did the dance."

Alex stands up to demonstrate. Bobby laughs … a real laugh this time.

"I remember."

"And we made love."

"I remember that too."

"The first time was that night."

"The night we wrapped up that case … you wanted to go see Nate."

"I wanted to feel better."

"I made you sick."

"With a cold … lets be specific. You didn't make me sick … you were wonderful that night."

He once again, looks down.

"I'm sorry that I checked out of our relationship … you were very special to me."

He gives her a sideward's glance.

"You loved me, I was special to you? Why all in the past tense?"

"I still love you and you'll always be special to me, but the damage has been done … I'm a human wrecking ball, Eames."

"I'm still standing … you haven't knocked me down yet."

"What brought you here tonight?"

"When I heard about Rose, my memories got the best of me. No man has ever made me feel as loved as you. I don't expect any man ever will … you're the only man I want Robert Goren, even after a two year lay off."

Bobby puts his arm around her, she snuggles up to him. He sighs heavily and wonders if the cleansing is over... or has it just begun?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N Liz ... Believe it or not, you gave me the idea to write this. Hope you like it:) Thanks to all that read. Happy Friday!