Lexaeus x Larxene 512 / Saving me

Warnings: Larxene's bad language, mentioned bullying, loneliness, very mildly mentioned sex. Grammatical errors.

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts characters belong to Square Enix and Disney Interactive Studios/Disney respectively. I own nothing but this story.

A/N: Happy LexLar day! (the fifth of December~) LexLar is actually one of my current favorite pairings because... well, I don't know. Opposites attract? Larxene's so bitchy and Lexaeus's so calm... I like this pairing more than AkuLar, DemLar, and MarLar combined! Enjoy.

-o-o-o-o-

Words can hurt.

I know it better than anyone because I had went through it when I had been a human, when I had been Arlene. I remember how the words feel.

Words can be sharper than my knives, stung harder and leave wounds than don't heal easily if ever. Only tongue can beat my weapons when it comes to causing as much pain as possible. Never again I wanted to feel the way Arlene had felt and still I remember it everyday. My long lasting humiliation had ended when I had turned into a Nobody but I was still tense around other people.

Offense is the best defense, they say.

I don't hurt others just for fun. I just hurt them before they can hurt me. I'm so scared, not that we really can really be scared. It's like being choked when the other members call me names.

Bitch.

Witch.

Everything.

So I cut them. Stab them. Make them suffer so they can't say a word against me. I hurt them to keep myself safe from getting hurt. I'm a despicable Nobody. I don't trust anyone in this goddamn Organization. Not Xemnas, not Marluxia. They just give me orders to get closer to their own goals.

But obeying their every foolish request give me the fake feeling of me being somehow useful. Important. Safe.

I hate my life. If I even can call it hating. Nobodies don't even truly hate. Hatred is an emotion. You can't have emotions without a heart. But if I'd have a heart what would I feel? I hitted the nearest marble white wall. Everyone in this castle could go to hell as if I cared.

I looked at my hand for a moment before clenching it into a fist. I didn't really think so. Because more than anything… I didn't want to be alone. Loneliness was even worse than the words.

I had wandered around The Castle That Never Was for hours. Alone, since even Marluxia had been sent to a mission. I instead didn't have a mission to go through. I felt so useless. And the fact I had no one to complain how my life sucks made me just miserable. As if no one would listen to me anyway.

I walked forward, my gaze glued to the floor and I almost bumped on Lexaeus.

"Get off", I snarled viciously. "You're on my way." He didn't move. Instead he stared at me calmly like if I would just give up. Yes, part of me wanted to drop this now but I couldn't. "What part was too hard to understand? Move!" He didn't obey me, he wasn't scared of me. I couldn't hold back my self-protection instinct. I summoned my knives. "That's it, brick! You were asking for this!"

He grabbed my wrists before I even before I even hitted him. There was soft cling as my knives dropped to the floor. His grip didn't hurt me but it stopped me from moving dangerously.

"Take your hands off me!" I shouted and struggled. No effect. "You heard me, Lexaeus! If you don't let go this instant I will…!"

"Why would you do that?" he asked, interrupting me in a mid-sentence. It got me off guard. I hadn't expected him, anyone, ask me why. I tensed and stopped struggling. Just let me go, Lexaeus. Another wave of nonexistent anger rose.

"It's none of your fucking concern!" I cried out and he finally let go of me. I growled at him. "Now would you kindly fuck off?!"

He sighed, defeated, and moved away from my way that I could move on. I bypassed him quickly. Even he couldn't stand me. I'm just that horrible. I forced myself to walk faster. If I stay here I might break. I would break…! I held my chest. There was no heartbeat but a pain that was much to bear.

"Larxene." I halted in shock when he said my name. I disliked being called but… He said my name almost softly, sadly. "You're just lonely, aren't you?"

I turned to him in a furious rage. Or that's what I thought I felt. Lexaeus' gaze would've been heartbreaking if I'd had a heart. Still, it hurted. It burned my insides like acid. It hurted like hell to know he had seen straight through the only barrier that protected me. It hurted that someone dared to understand me.

"No!" I spat out a lie. "I am not lonely!"

Lexaeus walked closer and by each step I retreated one in panic.

"You don't have to lie", he said.

"I'm not lying!" I cried out fiercely. I'm lonely. Completely alone. I wanted to admit it. I'm only a piece in a puzzle of thirteen pieces. One in many. A replaceable piece. I'm a Nobody. Nobodies don't cry. "I'm not…!" I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and I collapsed to knees. Cry is for the weak. It's for humans. We don't have emotions, we're not weak. Then why…? Why am I crying like a baby? Why am weak like this?

Lexaeus kneeled down in front of me and pulled me to his lap. I didn't struggle. He held me close, hugging me. "Cry as much as you want." One simple sentence, and I felt like I had been saved. There was no one to see my weakness. No one except Lexaeus.

My sobs slowly turned to barely audible whimpers. I leaned to Lexaeus' chest like a child and swiftly dried away my tears. I felt safe inside these arms for some reason. As safe as a Nobody could feel. He was so warm.

"I would like to stand up", I groaned hoarsely even though I really didn't want to move. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and stay there. My voice sounded weird after crying so long. I had lost my sense of time. These minutes had felt like an eternity.

"Have you cried enough?" Lexaeus asked. I snorted. It would have sounded snide if it hadn't been him. If it would've been Axel or Xigbar I would have lightning bolted his ass. If it would've been anyone else… I wouldn't be here like this. I felt vulnerable, exposed. And at the same time I felt somehow good. So whole. Because even in my pitiful life as a Nobody there was someone who would make me feel like this. That I'm not alone. I nodded to Lexaeus. I had cried just enough for this day.

"Thank you", I mumbled, trying to not make an eye-contact. My pride had just suffered a low blow.

Lexaeus smiled more openly than I had seen him doing. One of his rare smiles. It made me melt. No wonder Zexion is so fond to him. Lexaeus is just the kind of guy who won't judge you no matter what kind of person you are. I liked that. I smiled back at him.

"You're welcome", he said, and then we just stood there in silence.

The silence bothered me only slightly. It wasn't an awkward kind of silence but more like an 'I'm-listening-if-you-want-to-say-something' silence. But I didn't know what to say. For once the Savage Nymph was speechless. I frowned at the thought of the others laughing at me because of it. But they weren't here. I didn't need to get angry to protect myself. There was no one else but Lexaeus, and he wouldn't hurt me like that. In fact he had never done. I looked at him once more. But would he hurt me in future? I wanted to trust him. I just didn't have heart to do it.

"You wouldn't dare to tell anyone about…" I started threateningly. About this sign of weakness, unnatural behavior. I gritted my teeth. "…what happened between us, wouldn't you?!" That was the usual me. The bitchy Larxene who everyone hated was talking. It made me nauseous to know I was doing this in purpose.

"I won't", Lexaeus said, like sensing my whole 'I'm-mad-at-you' was just bluffing. "But there's one thing…" I crossed my arms. I knew it. Everybody in the Organization wanted something. He's no better than anyone else here. All here are just twisted, unscrupulous jerks who care only about…

Lexaeus raised up my chin, forcing me look at him. "Larxene", he said. I stared at him in a sudden state of shock. I had never looked Lexaeus from that close. I studied him warily, waiting to hear what he wanted because I was unable to move. Lexaeus had the gentlest blue eyes I had ever seen. And the way he looked at me was almost loving. "Smile more often", he whispered, loosening his grip of my chin but couldn't move an inch.

"I… I'll try", I muttered, blood rushing to my face. Such a humanlike reaction for a Nobody, subconscious snarled. I was appalled, confused, and more than everything I was embarrassed. I knew those emotions weren't real but that's how I felt. For a moment I had thought he would kiss me. "I'll try", I said louder, this time with a smile. See, I'm smiling, I thought. Notice me.

"That's much better", he said. "You look more beautiful when you smile." I looked away. Beautiful? Me? I tried to hide my blush but I knew he noticed it though he didn't mention it. He was kind like that, no reason to point out the obvious. He nodded, leaving now. Leaving me hanging on my 'last legs' like this. Our little moment was over. I stayed there for a moment before quickly following him.

"Weren't you going to the basement?" Lexaeus asked, half-surprised when I began to walk next to him back to the upper floor.

"I changed my mind", I said. I wanted to be a little longer with him. He nodded slightly, like he would have wanted me to come with him after all. What was quite weird since we weren't that close. I didn't have friends in the Organization. I just did what was told to stay alive. And kicked the crap out of everyone just because I didn't want to get hurt. "Are you going to see Superior?" I mentally slapped myself for asking such a stupid question.

"No", Lexaeus replied simply. "Zexion is returning from his mission soon. I'm going to meet him."

Oh, right. Zexion. I pouted slightly. I didn't even like him. Just another brat in the Organization in addition to Roxas and Xion. He even has a higher rank than me. And Lexaeus cares about him as much as a Nobody can care of another. Am I jealous?

"You're really fond to that kid", I noted bitterly. Lexaeus nodded.

"Yes, I am", he said, and it stung my nonexistent heart. Zexion is a Nobody in its complete entirety. He lacks all the remnants of emotions. He's strong like that. Not like me.

"He's like a little brother to me", Lexaeus continued, explaining. "I feel like I'm somehow responsible for him."

I snorted. "He doesn't show weakness", I muttered and before I even realized I had said it aloud Lexaeus had grabbed me from my shoulder.

"Larxene. You're not weak", he told, sounding first almost angry but his tone changed to softer soon after. "You're strong. But trying to go through everything alone, even though we are Nobodies, is not strength."

"You talk more than usually", I snarled quite friendly. He shrugged swiftly.

"Just wanted to let you know", he said, making me smile.

"Sounds like you're talking about personal experience."

"I am."

My smile fell. He had gone through the same as I. Same sadness, same wounds. No wonder he was to understand me. There was scorching inside my chest like never before. For the first time in my life as a Nobody I thought I really felt something else than memory based hatred. I felt strong compassion towards this sad, stalwart man who had been alone as long as I, or even longer.

I stood up on my toes to reach his face, to kiss him. And I did. I felt his strong hands curling around my waist. I felt his lips on mine. By each kiss we solaced one another. One for years of loneliness, one for irreverent names we had been called, one for every despising gaze. I didn't want to let go, I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to be saved. And so did him.

We had shared that one thing in common for all this time.

We had been both alone.

Now we were not.

-o-o-o-o-

My heels made high clapping sounds as I once again walked one of the many corridors of the castle. I was ready to receive my mission for today. I had slept better than in weeks and nothing was to bother me right now. I felt so confident and powerful.

The other members in the Grey Area were chatting but it stopped when I arrived to the room. I walked across it towards Saïx for my mission. I looked around the room and flashed a smile. It was meant only for Lexaeus who was standing next to Zexion on the other side of room but it wasn't left unnoticed by other members. Saïx handed me the note: I was assigned to go take out a Heartless in The Land of Dragons. Interesting.

I was getting ready to leave when I paid accidentally attention on Demyx.

"Did she really just smile…?" Demyx asked disbelievingly from Xigbar in a very small voice. He had been strumming his sitar on the one of the couches but he had stopped to speak to Xigbar.

"I bet she did", Xigbar replied the younger Nobody.

"She's creeping me out more than usually", the Nocturne muttered, and I laughed.

"I can hear you, guys", I said, making them shut up even though that wasn't my purpose. I was ready to slay even thousand heartless as long as I know there's someone for me. I opened a portal and stepped in, letting the darkness close behind myself.

I could be anything; a Nobody, a Somebody, or anything else.

Because I'm not alone. Not anymore.

There's a silent hero who can save me.

As long as I'm here to save him as well.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A/N: That was my Lexene fic, I hope you guys liked it as much as I do. Rate and review~