Title: Coming Around Again
Author: Nativechild
Fandom: QAF
Rating: PG 13, mild language and some swear words
Summery: Based on previews from the season finale, Brian and Justin have a conversation
Archive: Sure, just let me know, and I can brag to my friends
Brian was not himself. Forget about the fact that not only had he told Justin he loved him, but he had also proposed. Brian was not himself.
Justin would catch him looking of into the distance, with that expression of his that meant that he was lost in thought, and that those thoughts were not exactly pleasant. He hadn't told Justin to fuck off in days, and his normally sharp tongue was in need of sharpening. Not that Justin was complaining, it made for a nice change, but it was also kind of freaking him out. This was not his Brian.
"Brian, what's wrong?"
"What makes you think anything is wrong?"
"Well, for one, your even more quiet than usual, two, you haven't told to fuck off in days no matter what I say, three, you haven't told to fuck off in days no matter what I say, and finally four, you haven't told me to - "
"Okay, I get the point." Turning away from the window that he been looking out of he continued, "What, you're not madly in love the new and improved Brian Kinney. I've heard he's very user friendly."
Justin couldn't help it. "He's always been user friendly, especially all those attachments he has. It's the new interface that's kind of …"
"Isn't that what you wanted? For me to grow up, and become everything you've ever wanted? Everything you've ever dreamed of?"
"And more." They both grinned a little bit at this trip down memory lane. "But, who gives a shit what I want? What's going on?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing? No second thoughts? Third, fourth?"
"No, nothing"
"Then what are you doing? Why are you doing with all this?"
"I'm doing this to make you happy."
"Forget about that. What do you want?"
"To make you happy."
"Would you please loose that line. What would make you happy?"
"Look Justin, this is what you have always told me you wanted. I'm giving it to you. Now please, leave me alone."
"No. This isn't the Brian Kinney that I know and love."
"Yes it is."
Justin sucked in a heavy, shaky breath, and finally acknowledged what he had been trying to put off and ignore for the last two weeks.
"No, its not. This isn't you. This is not the Brian Kinney that stood up to Stockwell, this is not the Brian Kinney that told Vanguard where to shove it. This is not the Brian Kinney that started Kinnetik, the Brian Kinney that almost single handidly saved the hospice, that rode the Liberty ride with a broken arm, that beat cancer. This is the Brian Kinney that almost lost his world, the Brian Kinney that is afraid that his cancer will come back. The Brian Kinney that lost his best friend, and then almost lost him again. The Brian Kinney that is trying to make sure that I don't leave to. The Brian Kinney that has given up."
"Are you finished playing psychoanalyst yet? That's bullshit."
"No it's not. It's the truth."
"Yes, it is."
"Look Brian, we can fight about this till doomsday, but we both know it's the truth."
Brian dropped his head, let out a sigh, and bit his lip. "Fuck. Fuck! So maybe it is. So what do we do now?"
Letting out a sad little chuckle, Justin said, "I don't know. Break the news to Deb that her last son isn't getting married after all?"
"Christ, warn me first. I'll hop the plane to Timbuktu. I'll still be able to hear her, but at least this after she's done, my eardrums will be intact and my one good ball still be attached to my cock."
They both laughed, and Justin replied, "Do honestly think that will stop her?" After a moment he continued, "Look, I didn't want to admit what was going on, but I still knew. No one has bought the loft yet, I called my mom and made sure of that. I stole your account number and password from Ted, and I called the bank and told them that all your available funds would be tied up for about two weeks, and asked if it was all right to delay the down payment for the house, so that hasn't gone through yet. And I also talked Ted into not listing Babylon yet. I don't know what you want to do with that, so I just told him to talk to you, once I did."
"Well, you've certainly taken care of everything haven't you? There just is one more problem."
"Well, I've taken care of all the problems I can think of, so your gonna have to tell me what this one this, cause I don't have a clue."
"I still love you. No matter what you believe, know that."
"I do know that. I knew that the moment you didn't kick me out of your office when I showed up with intern papers in hand."
"I'll ask again. What do we do now?"
"I don't know. We can't seem to stay away from each other, but we can't live with each other either. How about, you stay here, in your loft, in your home, and I'll stay in my small, but charm less apartment."
"And we'll take it from there?"
"And we'll take it from there. Who knows, maybe this time nothing will interfere with us, and we can actually get on with our lives."
"So that's it?"
"I guess."
He walked up to Brian and kissed him. Gathering up all his stuff, Justin headed for the door. Right before he walked through, he stopped and turned around and said, "Although, I gotta admit, it was nice while it lasted." And with that he left, going home to brood, and dream of could have been.
Brian remained where he was, with a speculative look on his face. "You never know sunshine. This might just come around again."