Heavy debris covered most of the road just outside Puja's kitchen window. But she did not see trash or waste through the bars on her window, she saw potential. Everywhere she looked in Freeside, she saw materials of progress. The piles of demolished road could be crushed into gravel, crushed again to be mixed for concrete. Poured to make bricks, walls, solid paths. New buildings could emerge from old world corpses.
A new song came on the radio as she scrubbed the bowls.
She dreamed of gardens, a schoolhouse, a restaurant. Maybe even a real hospital.
Be sure it's true when you say, "I love you"
It's a sin to tell a lie
There was more than just the debris. Entire buildings could be demolished and rebuilt into something useful. A week before she moved to Freeside with her partner, a family had died when the roof of their building collapsed. Ralph expressed no grief when he shared the story and Puja wondered if it happened often. Her own apartment had been reinforced by her partner, Rachael, who assured her it was safe. Puja continued to have nightmares.
Millions of hearts have been broken
Just because these words were spoken
Three weeks in Freeside and she still stared at the same "potential" through her kitchen window. She wanted to start on her own, get a sledghammer and start breaking up the pieces, but Rachael wouldn't allow it. No one gives a shit about this place. You'll just be wasting your time. Wouldn't allow her to even leave the house most days. Freeside is too dangerous for you, sweetheart. Let me take care of you. I can get us whatever we need. They fought most nights. Puja was stir crazy and Rachael would cry, begging for her stay. She'd bring Puja a present home after work the next day.
I love you, yes I do, I love you
If you break my heart I'll die
Some days this dream of hers developed into choking sobs of worthlessness. She was not very physically strong to begin with, yet she had imagined doing all the work herself. Puja knew she wouldn't make it an hour before she was too exhausted and overwhelmed.
Even this bowl crusted in the previous day's dinner was providing a challenge.
So be sure it's true
When you say I love you
It's a sin to tell a lie
Across the street were two children, no more than 8 years old, drawing on the sidewalk with a chalky rock. They were barefoot and their clothes hung on them as if the children were made of wire hangers. They waved to her and she waved back, smiling. The one with dusty cheeks threw the chalky rock at her, but it bounced off the window bars instead.
Be sure it's true when you say I love ya, honey.
Because you got sense enough to know it's a sin to tell a lie.
The other, with cigarette burns down his arm, found more rocks and soon they were hailing them in her direction. Several cracked the window, but most bounced off the bars. She ducked and sat next to the sink, crying. The children started laughing and goading her to come out.
"Stupid bitch!" they screamed with surprising anger coming from such small voices.
A whole lotta folks' hearts have done been broken
Just over a whole lotta foolish words that were spoken.
This day was turning into one of her bad days, when the pain became too much and she wondered how long she could make it. Rachael wouldn't be home for another few hours. She could only wait, turn the radio up, hope to tune out the suffocating static in her chest. Rachael had ordered her some new fabric from California. She could make new clothes instead.
I love you, yes I do, I love you
If you break my heart I'll die
Maybe a dress she could wear on the first day her dream restaurant opened. An A-line skirt and a sweetheart neckline, short sleeves and bows up the back. Or maybe an outfit for the first day of her dream school. Loose slacks with a high waist. A button-up shirt with a close spread collar and a tie in a windsor knot. The sleeves would reach her wrists, but after a long day, Puja knew she would have rolled them up to her elbows.
So be sure it's true
When you say I love you
It's a sin to tell a lie
In her dreaming she fell asleep on the kitchen floor and woke to a dim room and the voice of Mr. New Vegas. She got up and finished the dishes, waiting to hear Rachael's footsteps come around the corner.