Okay guys, so hello, hi, I want to die, jk, actually I don't know if I'm kidding.

This is my first time posting on ao3 and if you know me from then you probs know that I've only written anime fics so far. I never thought I'd ever write for anything other than anime, tbh.

Look what you made me do, Marvel.

Anyway, have the time of your life reading this because I sure as hell did writing this.

Peter Parker wanted to die. Wanted to crawl into a hole, shrivel up and die.

And no, this was not the normal gen -Z dark humour that at some point had gone beyond dark humour.

Okay, well, maybe it kinda was, because when isn't it? But you're missing the point.

You see, Fate was a bad, bad entity who took whole hearted pleasure in torturing Peter. After the whole Vulture and Liz-moved-away-omg-this-is-so-sad-karen-play-despacito case was done and over with, Peter actually succeeded (somewhat) in getting his life into order. Balancing his two identities was not something that he was necessarily good at, but Mr. Stark and May had helped him out a lot. Of course, after a lot of panicking and May knocking sense into both Peter and Tony after finding out Peter's fursona, because goddamit Stark, you brought a kid into a war between enhanced humans and let him go around NYC getting stabbed and what not.

Basically, Peter's life had been going from disastrous to hey-this-is-pretty-decent. His grades had been improving, he was missing Decathlon practices less often and actually got a good night's rest. (Tony had been especially relieved because there were many things that he didn't want the kid to learn from him and his insomniac habits were one of them).

And this is where Fate roller-bladed into his life, wrecking and setting everything on fire with a signboard that said 'Oh no you don't'.

As an award for being gifted (read: depressed) students, the Midtown Academic Decathlon and an additional selected few were given a chance to tour their choice of place.

And of course, it had to be Stark Industries of all places, because when had his Parker Luck failed to ruin him?

When Mr. Harrington broke the news to them, there were a lot of different reactions. The majority of them were thrilled at the golden opportunity, Ned looked like he was about to pass out due from awe despite having been there a handful of times with Peter, Peter looked like he wanted Thor to smite him and Flash seemed to bask in the presence of Parker's obvious crisis.

Flash may or may not have thrown a crumpled paper ball at Peter's head that read 'Lets see how long before your lie is busted, PENIS parker'. Peter may or may not have been extremely tempted to correct it to 'Let's' and 'Parker' but then thought against it.

It kept him on the edge all day long.

Ned confronted him later that day, when no one was within the earshot. "Dude, what's gotten you so freaked out? Isn't this awesome? Now finally we can get Flash to shut up."

Peter gave Ned a dry look. When Ned urged him to give him a proper reply, Peter sighed and held up three fingers. "One: what if my secret identity gets out? I can't afford that Ned, you of all people should know why."

Ned nodded and Peter continued. "Two: If Mr. Stark finds out about Flash, well let's just say Flash will most probably shit himself. Three: If even after the trip it seems like I don't have an internship, you can imagine the trouble I'll be in. Either way, I'm going to attract undesirable attention. And the amount of explaining I'll have to do…." Peter shuddered at the thought. "Plus, Flash will never leave me alone again."

"Someone call me?" A voice called out from behind them. Peter and Ned both whipped around to see Flash sauntering over to them with a smug look on his face.

"Oh hi there Flash, I thought you'd gone home" Ned said in a clipped tone about the same time Peter stuttered out "How much of that did you hear, Flash?"

Decidedly ignoring Ned's comment, Flash leaned over to Peter. "Oh, I heard all about how your internship is fake and that you're gonna be in a lot of trouble, Parker. When were we going again? Thursday, was it? That's like, only, three days away. I'm looking forward to whatever shit excuse you come up with."

He walked away, seemingly in a very good mood, before Ned could get back on him because Peter surely wasn't.

Oh joy. Things were looking so great.

Thanks for reading! I'll update as soon as I can so in the meanwhile, R&R, ok?