Wanda pov
I want to die
I want to fucken die
Just to drop down dead
Right now
I want it to be over
What to be over I hear my mind ask me
Every-fucking-thing
It hurts and I'm in pain
I lift the blade again and drag it across my thigh again , putting more pressure and cutting the skin deeper than before.
Removing the blade I look and the damage I've done once again to myself.
The blood beads up and as I stand in my bathroom to walk to the shower and I can feel as the blood begins to run down my leg and I quickly stepped into the shower and looked as my blood pooled on the floor of the shower and I leaned over to turn the shower on and it immediately turned on , freezing cold as it hit my body , stinging and causing me to flinch as it stung my cuts , not just the fresh ones but the old ones to , the ones on my side , my ankle and my shoulder.
It hurt
It hurt so bad
But I knew I deserved it
I had let innocent people die
They didn't deserve it
I should have died
They should have lived
I could feel tears pouring down my cheeks I finished cleaning my cuts and I turned off the shower
I carefully got dressed outing on red pjs hoping my cuts wouldn't reopen.
I looked at myself in the mirror , I was so pale , I was feeling a little light headed but I walked out and tryed to ignore it.
I sat on my bed , knife in hand , I got a wipe and cleaned to blood stains off it .
As I did so Loki knocked on my door walked in.
He looked at the blade in my hand and said
" are you okay "
" yes Loki I'm fine"
"Wanda you don't look fine."
I looked up at him tears gathering in my eyes.
" then stop looking."