A/N: This came to me when I was watching...a Gerber baby food ad. Inspiration comes from the oddest of places.
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
"Hey, Sasuke?"
Uchiha Sasuke adjusted one of the shuriken holsters in his jounin vest and tried to ignore the blonde loping happily alongside him. However, when one was dealing with Uzumaki Naruto, nothing could be that simple. And Naruto had known him long enough to understand that he would listen, voluntarily or otherwise.
"I was wondering about what animals are most like the people we know. I mean, like, Hinata-chan would be something shy and sweet, like a bunny rabbit, right?" Sasuke couldn't hold back a smirk as he strolled along.
"And Sakura-chan would be something violent. Really violent. Like…I don't know. A lioness, maybe? She likes protecting people."
Sasuke shoved his hands in his pockets and focused on the leaves of Konoha that lay in elegant green tapestries above them.
"And Lee-kun would be…a moth."
"A moth?"
"Nobody cares about moths because they aren't butterflies. But they're beautiful in their own way."
"They also burn themselves to death on lamps," Sasuke added sardonically. Naruto sighed. "Yeah. Except Lee wouldn't die."
Sasuke cast a curious glance at his friend, surprised that he had thought that deeply about the subject. Then again, he had once been Konoha's Number One Most Unpredictable Ninja, and as his best friend, Sasuke should have known better than to underestimate him.
"Eh…Ino-chan would be like Sakura-chan, except…not the same. Probably a bear, or a tigress. Someone who'd protect Shikamaru and Chouji like they were her own kids."
The blonde's fingers were laced around the back of his head as he stared up at the foliage, lost in his musings.
"Eh…Shino's a cat. Elegant and aloof, but loyal. And Neji's…an eagle. Proud and strong." Sasuke tried not to smile.
"Sai's a tough one. He'd be something that's smart, but really stupid…like a deer."
"How are deer really stupid?"
"I don't know. It just seems that way."
"You wouldn't be a good judge of stupidity."
"Shut up, Sasuke. Sai's a deer."
"Never say that again."
Naruto stuck out his tongue but continued. "Shikamaru would be an owl. Smart and lazy, but trustworthy. And Chouji…would be a squirrel. Always hoarding chakra for when we need it the most." He chuckled. "Tenten's a bird, like Neji, but smaller. Like…a peregrine falcon. And Gaara's a swan. Like the Ugly Duckling."
"Kiba would be a dog," Sasuke muttered, feeling haughty at the fact that Naruto hadn't already stated the very obvious fact. However, the blonde shook his head vigorously. "No, no. Kiba's a wolf. Wilder, but every bit as loyal—maybe more, you know?"
Sasuke smirked. "Sure. And what am I, then?"
Naruto stopped in his tracks and leaned into his friend's face, their noses barely touching. He smiled mischievously. "You're a puppy."
"What?"
Naruto grinned, arms folded with satisfaction. "Yup."
"I am not a puppy! I am a jounin. I go on S-rank missions. I will be captain of the ANBU in a few years."
"You're a puppy," Naruto said smugly.
"Why would you think that?"
The blonde furrowed his eyebrows, as if deep in thought. "Actually," he said, "It was Itachi."
"Itachi?"
"Yeah. Back when you were still MIA, I ran into him. He asked me why I kept going after you."
Sasuke sighed. Even now, his dear aniki was making his life miserable. "What did you say?"
"Something about brotherhood, you know, and how I was a way better brother to you than he was, and all that," Naruto answered. "Anyway, that's disputable, what with him dying for you and everything, which leads me to the rest of the reason."
"Oh, great."
"He did die for you and everything, right? And Sakura-chan and Ino-chan were after you for years. And that creepy redhead—and Orochimaru. I mean, seriously—what's so amazing about you?" He caught Sasuke's scowl and smiled.
"I mean, it took me ages to get used to your bastardly tendencies, but I ran after you anyway. I figured it must be something other than your magnetic personality that attracts all these people, ne? Then I realized that puppies do the exact same thing."
"You…are an idiot."
Naruto wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. "And you wouldn't want it any other way."