Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Ferelden lived a wise, and noble king who ruled the land. King Cousland was beloved by many of his people along side his wife Queen Anora, and thanks to the ruling monarch the kingdom was in a state of prosperity.
Also in this kingdom was a brave templar by the name of Alistair who was less than an important person, and was in no way, shape or form the bastard son of the late great King Maric. Nope that could not be further from the truth so why even bring it up?
Anyways as our story goes it was on a day that seemed like any other that Alistair was summoned to appear in front of King Cousland, and it was on that day that Alistair's life was forever changed.
"You called for me my Lord," Alistair asked as he kneed before his king.
"Yes I have," Cousland said from on top on his throne. "There have been reports of an apostate hiding in the Korcari Wilds, and attacking people. They say it is a woman mage, and have taken to calling her the Witch of The Wilds. I wish for you to travel there, and see if there is any truth to these so called claims of a witch of the wilds. We cannot have our people in an up roar over a child's bed time story."
"Consider it done my Lord," Alistair said bowing his head. He was always proud to serve his king, and country of Ferelden. It was a duty from which he would never waver from. It was also how he afford to eat and keep a roof over his head, but that whole serving his king and country sounded much better so lets go with that.
"Very well then," Cousland said. "Now it you excuse me the Queen and I are off to a crazy, panexual orgy in Orlais because this is Dragon Age and that's just how we roll. Where even a bearded dwarf in drag is considered sexy."
After Alistair left the King's throne room he tried to dispel the horrific mental images Cousland had just put into his head. He really did not want to think about his king like that. Not to mention he had taken a vow of celibacy since joining the Chantry so Alistair did his best to just not think about sex period. Taking the frequent cold bath in the river helped but, none that would help heal the mental damage King Cousland had just implanted in his head. Why did he even have to bring up the topic of a dwarf in drag like that? What in the Hells was wrong with that man?!
Although King Cousland was a good. and a reliable king he was also a very, very sick man Alistair decided. Thoroughly scarred for life Alistair headed to the stables to retrieve his traveling companion Duncan.
They had a mission to accomplish.
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"Come Duncan we much keep going!" Alistair said as he, and Duncan battled the harsh elements.
Duncan, Alistair's horse, grunted in disagreement. Unlike his human counterpart he did not have a suit of armor to protect him from the hail and the rain, but Alistair seemed to pay little mind to Duncan discomfort or was just unaware.
"The Maker will guide us," Alistair said with true conviction.
"We must keep going," he said with his sword held high above his head.
If a person were to see the two it might have looked very heroic indeed, but also very stupid at the same time. Being that Alistair's sword, and metal armor made for an ideal lightning rod in such poor weather. How Alistair was not stuck dead in the storm may have actually been the will of the Maker who he had placed his faith in.
Duncan's thoughts though were not nearly on the same page as Alistair's were. He did not put much faith into this Maker since this was the same supreme being that had made him a horse. If Duncan had his way he would have been the human, and Alistair would be the one who had to carry him around all the time.
How Duncan got settled with being the beast of burden of such a foolish person he would never know. If he didn't need Alistair to feed him delicious oats, and provide him with clean drinking water then Duncan would have thrown the human off his back, and escaped to freedom years ago. It seemed that Duncan was stuck with the foolish man for the time being. He would just have to bide his time, and wait.
"Onward Duncan," the half-witted human upon his back needlessly shouted. Duncan for his part merely rolled his eyes. Which was actually a rather remarkable thing for a horse to do, and continued to march.
Soon Duncan thought so very soon.
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"Hail shemlen you shall go no further," an elf hunter said as he leapt in front of Alistair's path and aimed an arrow at him.
Another elf with her bow drawn toward Alistair also stepped into the clearing. It should be noticed that Alistair disliked having arrows pointed at him. It usually ended up with him in a lot of pain and with holes where holes had no place being. It was all around an unpleasant situation that he would rather avoid so Alistair decided to play things smoothly.
"Please Sir Elf I mean you and your clan no harm," Alistair said in attempt to negotiate with the elves. "I only wish to travel through these woods and be on my way."
"Lair," The nameless elf shouted. The grip on the arrow he was holding back lessen a faction. Alistair winced at this. The Dailish were know greatly for their skill with a bow. He probably wouldn't have to worry about being in pain if the elf did fired at him since he would most likely be dead instantly.
"I know the ways of your kind," the elf continued. "First you say that you mean no harm. Then the next thing we know you'll kidnap our women, and poison our water with your filth."
"What do you mean by poisoning your water with filth," Alistair asked generally perplexed. A single blond eyebrow rose at the elf's accusation. The arrow pointed at most likely his jugular was temporally forgotten.
"I mean that you will shit in our drinking water," the elf said quite venomously with could only be called an enraged fire in his eyes. His partner the elf woman next to him lowered her bow pointed Alistair, and began to rub the bridge of her nose as she mumbled a long string of words too quiet for Alistair to hear. She did not seem to share the same outlook on the safety of their drinking water as her partner did.
"Why I never!," Alistair shouted truly out raged at such an indignant response. The arrow left point at him was now completely forgotten about him. "I have you know that I have never shat in water in all of my life."
"Just like I thought," The elf remarked with a sneer. "You human just shit on the ground like animals as you walk along how disgusting."
Alistair opened his mouth to speak out again against the elf's assumption, but was interrupted by the woman elf. "Wait Tamlen hold your weapon. Can you not see that we are the presence of a troubled soul?"
Seeing a chance at a nonviolence solution Alistair's mood brighten. "Well it is nice for someone to spot that things have not been easy for me, but I would hardly call myself troubled."
"Not you shemlen," the elf woman said before she pushed Alistair off Duncan and kindly took the horse's face into her hands. Alistair for his part rolled, and struggled on his back like a flipped turtle. His armor was quite heavy after all.
"Yes I can see it in your eyes noble one," the woman elf spoke to the troubled horse. "This man has treated like a servant for many years."
Finally! Duncan thought. Someone who understood his pain.
"You poor creature," Duncan's savior said. "The hardship you must have faced, but worry no more. He will never bother you again."
The woman then unbuckled Duncan's saddle along with Alistair's gear, and let the burden fall on top on the man who was almost onto his feet. Alistair let lose a painful moan as the heavy gear knocked him back to the ground.
"Come Tamlen let's go," the elf woman said as she lead Duncan, and her partner away from Alistair in the clearing.
When Alistair finally rose from the ground he look around him to see that the elves ,and Duncan were long gone. The thought of chasing after them did cross his mind, but he didn't have the slightest clue which way they went. Plus if he strayed from the path he probably would never find his way back.
So Alistair did the only thing he could do. He picked up his gear, which was very heavy when one did not have a horse to carrying it, and went on with his mission.
The fact that he let a few manly tears fall from his eyes did not shame the brave knight at all.
After all that horse was like a dog to him!
So our hero carried on with his manly tears, and all.
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