Noah Puckerman sat perched on the edge of a park bench, his fingers curled onto the seat beneath him, white-knuckled, his knee bobbing up and down as he waited for her. He shouldn't be this nervous, but he had been ever since he got her text half an hour ago asking him to meet her. The first contact of any kind he'd had from her in over a month. He'd told her he loved her at the hospital and he'd meant it. Then after school ended, just a few days after the birth, she had asked him for some time to herself. A week later she called him and told him she was going out of town on vacation. Something about a cabin her family had in the mountains that her dad was probably going to get when the divorce was final, so they were going while they still could. She had taken Mercedes and Kurt with her for the week, but when Puck asked them about Quinn when they got back, they kept their answers short. So he waited and waited for her to call him and finally, today she did. He left the house almost immediately and headed straight to the corner of the park where she asked to meet him at 2:00. He checked his cell again: 1:56.

This was really an ideal place to meet. This particular portion of the park didn't get much traffic save for a few joggers, but they had normally all completed their runs several hours earlier when it was cooler. It was also "neutral" ground, not at his house or hers where either would feel they had an advantage. He wiped sweat from his face and shifted further under the shade of the oak that stood by the bench, turning slightly, his eyes catching her approaching him from behind. He stood quickly, too quickly making his apprehension all too evident. "Hi," he said as he rounded the bench to approach her.

"Hi," she said softly, a shy and somewhat pained looking smile on her lips as she met him halfway, closing the distance, but not getting too close.

"Been a while," Puck kicked himself as soon as the cliché left his mouth. 'Really Puckerman that's the best you can do?'

"I'm sorry, I realize I've been avoiding you. It's just, it's hard you know, seeing you without thinking about her." Her gaze left him as the pain became evident in her voice. "It's hard enough looking at myself in the mirror," she said, a hand unconsciously moving to rest on her now flat stomach. Puck couldn't imagine what that must be like for Quinn, nearly nine months of carrying a child, caring for it, dealing with all the body changes, then giving it up and just a couple of months later her body (from what Puck could tell) snapping back with no signs it had happened, with no baby around to remind her. It all felt very surreal.

"I miss her too," Puck said, the thickness of his voice surprising him.

"I guess the reason I'm here is just, I know we did the right thing giving her up, and I don't want you to think that I was heartless when I answered you so quickly. It's just I had made up my mind, it's what I had planned to do from the start, and I couldn't let myself get caught up in the emotion and waver from that that decision. But I know you wanted to keep her, so I guess….I just need to know that you're okay."

Puck sighed deeply and gave himself a few seconds to form his answer. "I did want to keep her…..but at the same time I knew that you were right. She deserves more than the life we could have given her. So yeah, I'm okay. And I never thought that about you. I know you love her. I could see it the second you held her."

She smiled sadly and looked down again. She heard him sigh once more.

"So where does that leave us?" he asked lifting his rough but warm palm to her face and turning her gaze back to him. "I meant what I said at the hospital...…I love you." There, the actual three words, he had said it. His moment of personal triumph was cut short however by the feel of her shaking her head against his palm.

She reached up and took his hand in both of hers and lowered it "Don't," she whispered.

"But I do…."

"It was wrong of me to ask you. Everything was so emotional and"

"But that's the thing," he cut her off. "I've been thinking about it, seeing if I would feel different after she was really gone, but I still feel the same."

"Puck, please, don't…" she said, not meeting his eyes once more, though she realized she was still holding his hand in hers.

'Look, I'm not trying to get you to say you love me back...'cause I know you don't." She gave him a brief guilty look, confirming his statement. "And that's okay, I've given you no reason to. I've blown every shot you've given me. Every time you've trusted me I've let you down. But it's different now," he squatted slightly trying to catch her eyes. "Just give me a chance to prove it."

At this Quinn did drop his hand and crossed her arms over her chest as if trying to hold herself together, "Puck, please, I can't do this with you again." The shudder in her voice, the forerunner for her oncoming tears, sent a sharp pang through Pucks chest. He lightly placed his hands at her elbows but she shrugged away from the contact.

"Do what?" He knew what.

"How many times have we been right here? You saying just the right thing to get me where you want me then tossing me to the side, chasing after everything else when you got bored with me because I wouldn't put out." Her voice was getting a hard edge to it and Puck could see tears brimming in her eyes. This was quickly taking a spiral downward and Puck had no idea how to salvage it. But God-forbid he not dig himself into a deeper hole trying.

"But it's different now," he repeated, "I was just distracted back then with all the fake stuff. None of those other girls meant anything. I want REAL now. And you and me, we've always been real. I felt something different from the beginning with you. I tried to get with you but you were doing your own 'fake' thing with Finn, 'cause he fit your image."

"All that between us was real?" Quinn straightened, and Puck knew he had just woken a sleeping giant. "You sweet talking me into bed and then ignoring me until you found out I was pregnant was 'real'? Reeling me back in, making me want to keep the baby with you while you kept Santana or any other hot girl that caught your eye on the side? Or after everything came out, you convincing me to live with you with all that 'family' talk and then treating me like just another one of the guys the whole time I was there, that was 'real'? Then the whole school knowing you're the father, knowing that I'm living with you, referring to me as your girlfriend as they watch you continue to slut your way through every high school girl, mom, and lonely housewife in Lima while I sit idly by looking like an idiot! That's what you think is 'real'? The only thing 'real' between us was physical attraction, that's it." She knew that last statement wasn't true. He had said he loved her, and she knew that that probably wasn't a statement he had made to any woman who wasn't related to him, so she didn't take it lightly. But she also knew that just because he loved her didn't mean he wouldn't find some way to royally screw it up. She had been close to loving him once or twice, but the times that he had betrayed her trust acted as a formidable barrier around her heart.

"Beth is between us now." Puck corrected.

"Don't drag her into this! She deserves more than to be used as your guilt card."

Puck felt sick to his stomach. He knew he had screwed up, he had confessed that much not more than five minutes earlier, but still, hearing her voice just a few of his transgressions against her out loud landed a crippling blow in his guts and he knew he had lost.

"If that what's 'real' for you…..I'd rather have fake with someone else." She turned to leave but Puck placed a gentle hand on her arm.

"Quinn, please, I'm sorry….don't go."

"I really wish I could trust you again, give you another chance," her voice was steady, but as she turned to him one last time he could see the sheen on her cheeks where fresh tears had fallen. "I just can't."

He watched her walk away, knowing there was nothing more that could be done right then. This is the way they worked, start with love and end with war. He knew no matter what he said, how many times he apologized, begged and pleaded, no words he could think of would convince her that she could trust him with her heart again. He was going to have to prove it.