A/N: I decided to be vague about the particular season or between seasons this can be set in, but it's pretty clear the guys are all still single here, so place them wherever you feel most comfortable placing them in your mind.

I'm new to writing Big Bang Theory fiction, so please be kind, but feel free to give tips and advice.

Please review? :)

Howard, Raj, and Leonard stared at the tall, dark haired theoretical physicist as if he truly had lost his mind. He didn't look up from his card sorting.

"Let me get this straight." Howard began slowly, trying to comprehend just what, exactly, Sheldon Cooper was implying. "You think you'd be able to land a girl like Penny when Leonard hasn't been able to keep a hold of her? Look how hard he's trying. Desperately, I might add. She also hasn't been too impressed with my poetic words and flirtations, and I'm hard to resist."

Raj rolled his eyes and Leonard shook his head.

"Well, 'Land' would not be the appropriate term I would approximate for that endeavor. But yes." Sheldon replied simply.

Raj snorted. "Dude, I have a better shot at her drunk than you do sober!"

Leonard laughed. "Come on, Sheldon. You haven't shown her the slightest interest!" Leonard pointed out. He wasn't feeling jealous. Sheldon was hardly a threat. It was nothing but a joke to him to even think Sheldon had a shot at Penny.

Sheldon dealt the cards and replied flatly. "I didn't say I was interested. I said that as far as the math is concerned, I have the best odds of attracting her, if I were so inclined."

"Really?" Howard's voice rose a tone as an idea came to him. "Then, why don't you?"

It was Sheldon's turn to snort. "I refer you to my previous statement. If I were so inclined. I am not so inclined."

"You said you could do it, so put your money where your mouth is." Howard challenged.

Sheldon sighed as he finished doling out the cards. He turned in his spot slightly to face the engineer. "Howard, I am not going to engage in any of your antics."

"But you can't just say you can get a girl like Penny, and then drop the ball without proving that you can or can't actually do it." He argued.

Sheldon shrugged and sifted through his hand of cards. "I don't have to prove myself to any of you. Your opinions would have to matter greatly to me for me to exert the kind of energy it would take to prove I can, in fact, attract Penny."

The conversation had started out like many others the foursome had. With Howard and Raj teasing Leonard on his constant pining for the girl across the hall while Sheldon tried to call their attention back to the game at hand. Then Raj had mentioned that he felt that the odds of any of them attracting Penny were stacked in the order of Leonard, Raj, and then Howard, but that they were still very slim odds. He'd excluded Sheldon completely from his scenario, a fact that Sheldon hadn't cared an ounce about. But Howard pointed out that he forgot Sheldon. Raj then proceeded to laugh loudly and announce that Sheldon had no chance whatsoever of attracting a girl like Penny.

That was what had prompted Sheldon to disagree and explain that currently his odds were zero only by choice and that his odds for attracting Penny were, in fact, the highest out of the four of them if he were to attempt such a thing. Ordinarily, he didn't bother getting involved in such conversations, and while he could have cared less what his friends thought about his lack of sexual prowess, he didn't enjoy being told there was something he stood no chance at mastering if he truly wanted to.

"Tell you what," Howard began mischievously. "How about this." Sheldon glanced at him impatiently. "If you do it, and fail, you have to lay off your rules and condescension for six entire months. That means no more telling us we can't sit in your spot, or giving us strikes for ordering Chinese on Pizza night, and no reminding people that I only have a Master's Degree or implying I'm stupid in some other way." Before Sheldon could react with his usual derivative comments, Howard continued. "But if you succeed, and Penny falls for you, I'll not only virtually be your slave for six months seeing to your every whim, I'll hand over my 1978 vintage, unused, still in the box Battlestar Galactica board game, all of my original Star Trek memorabilia, and that miniature cylon you've been eyeing."

Sheldon gasped. He stared openly at Howard, practically drooling at the idea of getting his hands on such treasured items. "For clarity's sake, you are saying that if I attract Penny, you'll be my slave for six full months, give me your 1978 vintage, unused, still in the box Battlestar Galactica board game, all of your original Star Trek memorabilia, and the miniature cylon, completely and permanently without complaint? No backsies?!" Such a collection was worth several thousand dollars on a bad day, not that Sheldon would dare to sell such items he greatly coveted.

Howard chuckled. "Yes, that's what I'm saying. But no going over to the Cheesecake factory and hanging out, then calling that a date. Or her just liking you as a friend. We're talking real romance here. You have to get her to fall for you, completely. And by completely, I mean heart, mind, and body." He grinned.

"I don't know..." Sheldon fretted with a slight frown. "That would require exceptional energy on my part as well as actual physical contact with another person."

"I'll throw in my Green Lantern limited edition collection." Raj piped up, causing Leonard to shoot him a look. Raj shrugged. "Hey man, if it will shut him up for six whole months, it'll be worth it. Besides, it's not like it's ever gonna happen."

"Deal." Sheldon quickly said. He could amass a large collection that would ordinarily take him several decades of collecting to achieve, in just a few months time! It would mean having to tolerate excess time with Penny and things like...Touching. But sacrifices had to be made for the greater good. The greater good being all the goodies he would collect from Howard and Raj for doing this.

Leonard shifted uncomfortably. "Hang on a second! You can't do that! Penny is a person. You can't toy with her like that! Also, there is no way Sheldon could succeed in something like that."

Sheldon turned his attention to his room mate. "Yes, she is a person, but I don't really see your point." Rarely did he see Leonard's point when it came to Penny. "I can succeed. I always have been very capable of doing so ever since the first day we met Penny." He said confidently.

Leonard tossed him a look of disbelief. "Are you serious? You said it yourself, I'm the Mac Daddy of our group."

"Only because I choose not to be."

Now Leonard was getting irritated. "You've got to be kidding me! Even Howard has more charm than you!"

"Hey!" Howard added defensively.

Leonard ignored him.

Sheldon had gotten up during Leonard's mini-rant and collected paper and a pen, along with his Notary stamp. He set about writing out the details of the agreement, ensuring that Howard and Raj couldn't back out of the contract.

"You're not actually going to try to go through with this!" Leonard laughed. albeit nervously. As much as he didn't want to see Penny get hurt, he didn't believe for a minute that Sheldon stood a chance in hell. He couldn't see Penny getting hurt at all by any of this. She just could never be interested in someone like Sheldon. He was sure of it. "How in the world could you possibly win Penny over?"

"It's really quite simple, Leonard." Sheldon kept writing as he answered his friend. "Many women are attracted to the so-called Alpha Male. In our group, I am and always have been the Alpha Male. I'm the tallest, most intelligent, and most physically fit one of the four of us, which are primal features making me biologically the most compatible and desirable mate. It dates back to our de-evolved ancestors. The females would naturally seek out the males that were most capable of finding food and shelter sources, protecting them, fending off dangers to them and to their potential offspring, and most likely to have viable sperm. I admit, it's a very primitive dissection of hormones, instincts, and based on gender biases, but today those qualities are still often in play when females search for a mate. Referring back to your previous hypothesis, Raj, the actual order in likelihood of our success would be myself, Leonard, you, and then Howard. You would have come in second, but as you're incapable of speaking to the female of our species without alcohol, your chances are decreased."

Raj frowned unhappily at this.

"Okay," Leonard began. "Let's say for the sake of argument, that all of that is true, which I could easily argue against, but for now, I won't. Penny can't stand you a lot of the time and hasn't shown the slightest interest in you in that way, any more than you have in her. If your asessement were correct, wouldn't she be fawning all over you when she's over here hanging with us? But no, she doesn't. She fights with you, and turns to me. I'm the one she comes to in our group. Not you."

Sheldon finished writing out the contract in careful detail and handed it over to Howard and Raj to look over and sign. He sat back and looked at Leonard. "Leonard. I understand your confusion as I have not bothered to employ my Alpha Male status in our social group, particularly in regards to females. I'm a man of science and my primary interest has always been science. I have no interest in pursuing the trivialities of a romantic relationship. But, I can assure you, were I to take such an interest, I am perfectly capable of employing my dominance via the masculinity my testosterone offers, and attracting women. And need I point out, that the first time you invited her over here, it was my whiteboard and intelligence Penny was originally drawn to, not yours?"

Leonard didn't know if he should laugh again, or get nervous. Never had Sheldon insisted on anything even close to this! He didn't know what to say. He could only sit and watch as Howard and Raj each signed the contract and Sheldon signed and stamped it.

Sheldon handed Howard and Raj their own copies of it.

"You have exactly six months to get Penny to fall head over heels for you." Howard reminded him, folding and tucking his copy in a pocket. "Remember that after the first six months, if you've failed, you keep your mouth shut for six more full months." It was worth it to Howard because he didn't think he had anything to lose. This was Sheldon they were talking about, after all!

Sheldon nodded. He took all contracts quite seriously. "Understood."

Leonard sat back as they resumed their game, wondering what, if anything, would come of all of this.