I remember
The day we first met.
You walked in
Behind the boss with
The calmest face
I had ever seen.
No sign
Of nervousness
Or fear
You showed nothing.
I stood up
And greeted you
Shook your hand
Said hello.
You gave me
A once over
Smiled politely
Then got to work.
I remember
Our first training
Together.
I was in charge
Of teaching you
How to kill.
"Fix your stance"
"I got it"
"Aim a little higher"
"I am"
You were so
Insistent
On being right.
I liked that.
I remember
Our first team
Outing.
Just a fun time
With the squad.
This time
You seemed
Nervous
Scared
Not as calm.
You were used
To just working.
Day in
Day out.
That's all
You ever did.
Now
You were in
Civie clothes
You were normal.
And you had fun
You loosened up
We got drunk.
We laughed
We danced
We partied.
We were normal.
I remember
The night
We stayed late
To work some
More paperwork.
Work work work
That's all you did.
I made
You play a game.
"Get back to work"
It was always about
Work.
But I
Admired
Your commitment.
I wanted that
Motivation
And drive.
I remember
The picture
Of us
And a friend.
We were laughing
Smiling
Messing around
And you seemed so happy.
I put
My arm around
Your shoulders
And you placed
Your hand
On my knee.
You gave me
The biggest smile
You looked
So happy.
I remember
The mansion incident.
The thick smoke
The clicks of your gun
His screams.
You had
Blood
On your face.
You tried to
Save him
Yet you didn't
You couldn't.
So we ran
To safety
Or so we thought.
It was
Hell.
Death
Betrayal
Secrets and lies.
We barely escaped
we survived.
But at what cost?
On the trip home
To safety
You fell asleep
On my shoulder.
You looked
So sad
So upset.
Like you
Were having
A hellish nightmare.
I remember
The day we met up
In Europe
You had finally arrived.
We went
To pick you up
From your flight
And waited
Patiently
By the gate.
Then
I saw
Your short
Brown hair.
Your eyes
Lit up
With so much
Joy.
And I ran to you
I hugged you
Squeezed you tight.
I didn't want
To let go.
We were
Going to
Bring justice
To our fallen friends.
I remember
The day we
As a team
Took down
The people
Who had invoked our anger.
We wanted
Revenge
Justice
Peace.
We infiltrated
And took them down.
But he was still out there.
You were looking
Off into
The distance.
I stood
Next to you
And took in your beauty.
You noticed
How close I was
Standing
And how I was
staring
And you just gave me
A reassuring
Smile.
I knew it would be okay
If it came from you.
I remember
The day I couldn't find you.
You and your partner
Had gotten lost
No where to be found.
But I did
Find you.
We felt
More betrayal
More lies
Nothing new for us.
We were
Reunited
At last.
I missed you.
I remember
The day I lost you.
Lost us.
We finally
Found him.
He was
In our grasp
We were so close
To the end.
But something
Didn't go right.
We took a beating
But I was
Not giving up.
He had me
By the throat.
I looked to you
To say goodbye
Get out
Save yourself.
But instead
You saved me.
You pushed
Him and you
Out
Into oblivion.
Your scream
Still rings in my ears.
My shout
Still lingers in my throat.
You sacrificed
Your life
For mine.
I miss you.
I ran
To the sea
In search
Of at least
Your body.
Your hat.
Something.
But you weren't there.
Nothing was.
I sat
And waited
To wake up
From this
Hellish nightmare.
But I never did.
I hoped
That you were
Happier
And in
A better place.
But I also hoped
That you were
Not really gone.
Because
I love you
And I never
Got to tell you that.
But I think
You knew.
You knew everything
And
I liked that.