Sometimes I wonder if she's aware of anything going around her. Every time I see her, she has this misty look on her face. She's usually talking to me; sometimes it makes sense, sometimes not. I'm constantly looking after her, covering her back. I'm not sure if she realizes it but I don't mind. She's living in her own world; sometimes I get frustrated and feel so useless, like she wouldn't even notice my company. Those are the worst days when everything goes wrong. Sometimes I just laugh at her original insanity. There are very few rare moments, though. I live for those moments with her. When she sort of snaps out of her trance, looks at me and smiles. Sometimes she talks, making perfect sense. At least I want to think it makes sense, somewhere in the back of my mind I know I'm just another one of her illusions. I don't mind being her illusion. She never calls out my name, I wonder if she even knows my name. I've saved her from many humiliating situations. The Slytherins are frequently ganging up on her. The rest of the people usually just ignore her.
Sometimes I like to think she's mine, all mine. Sometimes when she does something really adorable, I feel like kissing her. I know I shouldn't for many reasons but I can't help myself. I wish I could just kiss her, I wish that she'd want me to kiss her. I want to make her happy, enjoy my company as I enjoy hers. I remember one instance when we were studying; she had one of her what I like to call "awake moments". She just stared at me, grinned when I stared back and she took my hand in hers. Nothing really happened but my heart was racing really fast. Those are the moments I live for. I'm not sure if she's still completely aware of everything but I like to think so. She has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. Most people don't find her attractive, but she smiles only occasionally. When she smiles at me, her eyes aren't so misty as usual.
I'm sitting by my bed, watching her sleep in it. I do that sometimes when I have a chance; watch her sleeping and guessing what dreams she's having. I think she has no idea that she fell asleep in my bed and honestly, I don't care if she didn't. I crawl into the bed and just lay next to her, memorizing every detail of her pretty face. I fell asleep at some point because I find myself staring at her eyes when I wake up. I ask her how long she has been awake, she shrugs at me. I get up and sit on the side of my bed staring numbly at the wall. I'm still a little sleepy, I have no idea how long I slept. But I'm very much awake when I hear her speaking to me. Ginny. She called me Ginny. I can't believe my ears when I hear it. I ask her if she could possibly repeat what she just said. For my amazement she repeats everything she just said. I have waited for the next "awake moment" to tell her how I feel. I don't know how to put it in words, I don't want to put it in words and I just lean in and kiss her. She kisses me back and that's all I need. The kiss doesn't seem to stop at all and after a while I pull back. I see the same misty look in her eyes again. I let out a deep sigh and fall onto the bed. She's leaving, getting up from the bed and walking towards the door. She turns around, stares at me, smiles and says; "Bye, Ginny".
When she's gone I fall asleep with a huge smile on my face.