Okay, maybe a little preface... I currently rewatch the first season of the anime, and paid a bit more attention to the first episodes. And at a certain point, I found myself watching Jadeite and Queen Beryl wondering about the behaviour of humans, and I thought, hey, they do have a point here. Usagi and everyone else are so mindbogglingly stupid in those first episodes, even when it's played for comedy, it's painful. I'm so on the side of the Dark Kingdom here.
And I thought... I thought... wait, Jadeite and Queen Beryl are the sane part here? And they are alienated by humans? Could they be GOOD and I just didn't realize it before? I snatched my keyboard and poured out all the despair that Jadeite and me shared about this episodes.
So, this isn't a fanfic that changes the episodes. I rewatch the episodes and tell them from Jadeite's point of view. That's all. Hope it works. Hope you enjoy. Some suggestive scenes included, but nothing explicit. Please review!
My thanks go out to Naoko Takeuchi and everyone who made Sailor Moon possible.
Hello, my name is Jadeite, one of the Dark Kingdom's Shitennou, restlessly working for the benefit of mankind. I am working for this great non-governmental organization called Dark (which is short for Detecting And Rescueing Keepers') Kingdom.
What we do is monitoring societies, and when we see they are taking a wrong path, we give them well-thought, fun and educational lessons to make them see the errors of their ways and become a more human society.
It's a tough job, it really is. Humans are egoistic and learn slowly.
But I mustn't complain. I have a very skilled staff who is as devoted to our noble intentions as one could wish, and our big leader has sent us Queen Beryl, who is the greatest inspiration for all of us. Noone could be more determined and alert than she is. She also has great magical powers, and is breathtakingly beautiful.
Still, it's terribly hard to better humankind. Take, for instance, the time when we saw humans being consumed by vanity and greed, and losing their minds and enormous amounts of money on jewels. Money that could have been put to a better cause. Time that could have been spent on something worthwile instead of shopping.
You wouldn't believe the atrocious behaviour we had to see when we offered some jewels for a low price. We had been hoping they would be happy with their gems and with the money they wouldn't have to spend, we were actually thinking that greed would decrease when everyone could afford what they desired.
The opposite happened. Really, I don't understand it. Their greed and vanity just exploded. We had to extract it from them in order to prevent them to become damaged for life.
I was a bit sad about it, but Queen Beryl actually liked it. She explained to me that taking away those energies will certainly better those people, and that we should explore the impact of this measures in more depths. In the meanwhile, Queen Metallia would find a way to turn this bad, harmful human energy into something that would help us help people even more.
That cheered me up. Queen Beryl gives the most touching speeches. My heart beat like crazy. Such an inspiration!
I considered finishing he job together with Morga, my asistant for this assignment, to save more humans faster. But the reason I chose her in the first place was not only that she is very good and loving mankind like no other, but also that she can't keep her hands off my pants. No, I'd rather stay here. Nephrite can't keep his hands off my pants either, but at least that's not going to interfer with the mission. And the mission of course always comes first. Also, Nephrite is a real hottie.
Then, something terrible happened. An impersonment of vanity, greed and lots of other useless vices turned up and killed Morga. By throwing a piece of jewellery at her, of all things... how cruel. Vanity has been victorious. I still can't believe it.
She was accompanied by someone who hands out red roses to underage girls. Very high on our list of suspicious behaviour. Will have to keep an eye on him. Maybe I need to stop him. Maybe we can convince him to work for us, save humankind together. That would be great. He's actually a real hottie too.