author's note: so all over my Tumblr dashboard, I've been seeing people talk about Fitz being a virgin and loosing his v-card to Clare, and Clare loosing hers to Fitz. At first, I'm like hell no, but I'm starting to warm up to the idea, so here's a fanfic I thought of. Probably the closest thing you'll get to smut(;
I flopped down on my back with a sigh, bouncing slightly on my bed. "Those little kids are a handful!"
Fitz crashed down right next to me, making the bed shake more. "I know!" he agreed. "They were so...hyper!"
"It makes me wonder how my parents did it," I laughed.
Fitz laughed with me. "I doubt you were so routy. You were probably a mellow little kid,"
"I dont really remember my childhood that much," I said, rolling onto my elbow to look at him.
Since Fitz had been released from juvie, we've become a lot closer. Eli wasnt too happy with it, but Fitz did actually find Jesus. I was helping him with that. I understood Fitz, and although Eli still hated him, I couldnt give up on Fitz. I knew he thought something more of this, but he's actually been very good about it.
"I dont either. It probably wasnt the best," he rolled onto his elbow, too.
I smiled at him, reaching to take his hand. "That's all over now, Fitz. You cant live in the past,"
His smiled softened and he squeezed my hand. "I know. Thank you, Clare, for all that you've done. You actually forgave me,"
"Eli forgives you," I insisted. "But he just doesnt trust you,"
"I dont blame him," his eyes shifted down and a blush cascaded his face. He looked back up into my eyes. "He doesnt trust me to be around you, does he?"
I shook my head. "No. He thinks you're dangerous. In fact, he doesnt even know we're together right now. He only thinks we go to church every Sunday,"
"You shouldnt lie to him, Clare," he sighed, sitting up and shaking his head. "If he found out, we'd both be dead,"
I sat up next to him and put my arm around his shoulder. "For one thing, I'm allowed to do what I want. Eli cant tell me who to hang out. And for another, it's Thursday night - him and Adam are playing video games,"
He nodded. "I just dont wanna cause problems for you two,"
"Fitz," I laughed, moving my head to get him to look at me. When his eyes met mine, I smiled. "I can make my own choices. If Eli cant accept that you're my friend, well then..." I trailed off, not knowing how to end my threat.
He smiled back. "You sure?"
"Positive," I smiled.
I hadnt realized we moved closer together, but then our lips connected. Part of me told me to pull back - that it was a mistake. But a bigger part of me told me to keep going. Fitz kissed me in a way Eli didnt. I felt a deeper connection within Fitz's kiss.
My fingers tangled in his hair and his hands found their way to my waist. He started to gently push me back on my bed, and I didnt object. A voice in the back of my head kept chanting stop it, stop it, but I didnt want to.
Fitz's hand rested gently on the bare skin of my hips. I shivered at his touch and he pulled back. "Is this okay?"
I nodded and reconnected our lips. Something inside of me took over and I wanted more and more of Fitz. I felt like he was the one.
I tugged hesitantly at his shirt and he pulled back again. "Clare, are you-"
"I'm sure," I cut him off, and starting pulling at his shirt again. When he sat up and pulled his shirt off, I rolled onto my back.
He took in the sight of me and swallowed.
"Kiss me, Fitz," I whispered.
Fitz bit his lip before leaning down and capturing mine in a heated kiss. I raked my finger nails down his back as his tongue hesitantly entered my mouth.
His hands started to slowly move up my shirt, feeling the skin of my back. I shivered and arched my back, letting him uncover me.
He pulled back and started at my chest, only covered by my black bra. "Clare, you're...beautiful," he whispered and his lips went to my neck, kissing it softly.
I moaned quietly and tangled my fingers in his hair.
Fitz's fingers grabbed the clasp of my bra and he pulled back to look at me.
"It's okay, Fitz," I smiled. "You can take it off,"
"No," he sat up and shook his head. "No, we cant,"
I bit my lip and looked at him. He was sitting between my legs on his own legs, staring into my eyes with a look of hurt.
"Why not?" I pouted.
"I cant take your virginity," he muttered.
"Fitz, you're the right person," I admitted.
"W-what about Eli?" he whispered.
I sat up, my legs still open and around him and I put my hands on his shoulders, rubbing them gently. "I love Eli," I told him. "But I also love you. It's been there, Fitz, it's been there for a while, I just didnt know how to deal with it. You understand what I'm giving up. And...you'd be giving me your virginity, too," I muttered looking down.
Fitz had revealed to me a while ago that he was a virgin. It's something that he didnt like people knowing, but he trusted me with it.
His hand slid under my chin and he pulled my eyes back up to him. "Clare, I cant. I know you wanna wait till marriage and now I do, too,"
"Fitz...Mark," I whispered. His eyes softened when I called him by his real name. "I want to do this. You are the one,"
"You love Eli,"
"He doesnt understand me like you do. Please,"
"And you're absoluetly positive?" he asked.
"Yes."
Fitz took in a deep breath and let it out before kissing me again, pushing me back on the bed. He unclasped my bra and started kissing down my neck as he pulled on the zipper of my jeans.
.
.
.
I laid on my back next to Fitz, still taking deep breaths. He was looking up at the ceiling, too, taking long deep breaths.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," I whispered.
"You sure?"
I nodded.
"Well...was it how you imagined?"
I shook my head. "It didnt hurt as bad as I thought. You were gentle. Thank you," I turned to look at him.
He did the same. "Anything for you,"
We laid there in a comfortable silence, until he shifted. "It's getting late, I should go before your parents get home," he sat up, reaching for his clothes.
I clutched him arm. "No, dont go!" I begged, pulling back down to lie down. "My parents are away tonight, they wont be back until tomorrow. Please, stay here with me tonight,"
"Okay," he nodded and took me in his arms, my back to his chest. He reached down and pulled the covers of us. His lips brushed my shoulders. "I love you, Clare. You know that, right?"
I nodded. "Yeah." A few silent tears streamed down my face. I didnt know if it was because I loved Eli and Fitz or if it was out of regret. "I love you, too,"
My phone started buzzing and I reached over to grab my pants off the floor, and grabbed my phone. "It's Eli," I whispered.
Fitz took his arm away from me, as if Eli could see us. I flipped my phone open. "Eli,"
"Hey, baby, what's up?"
"Uhm. Not much, you know. Just hanging out. I was reading this really good book, actually,"
"Cool. So, Adam had to leave early. You wanna hang out?"
"I cant. My parents arent home,"
"Ooo," he muttered in a seductive tone. "Hinting something, Edwards?"
"No, Eli, I really cant. My parents dont want me going anywhere while they're away,"
He laughed. "I was just teasing. I know. But hey, if you need me to come over to stay with you or anything else, just call,"
"I know. Thanks,"
"Anything for you, Clare. I love you,"
"I love you, too,"
"Goodnight," he whispered, before hanging up.
I sighed and closed my phone, laying it on my nightstand. Fitz rolled back over and wrapped his arms around my stomach, pulling his very close to me.
After a couple minutes of silence, he spoke. "Do you regret it, Clare?"
I thought about my answer for a little bit before shaking my head. "No, I dont,"
Author's note: soo i think epic fail. i dont know if i'm continuing it, but there you go. some flare(: