Warning: MATURE SEXUAL CONTENTS! (starting with this chapter), M/M, RAPE, UNDERAGE, there might be Violence and Bad Language in later chapters. BEFORE YOU READ BEAR IN MIND THAT THIS IS A VERY M BASED STORY SO IF U'RE NOT READY FOR IT DON'T READ IT!
I'll warn you guys in advance of anything worth warning about at the beginning of very chapter so don't worry. XD This was a request by Ismae Kuroda so the idea is all hers! I hope i didn't disappoint with my writing and I'M SO SO SO SORRY for taking so long! It just took me a while to organize all your notes in a fluent story.
I hope you like it and if u can, please please leave a review! Thank you in advance!
Also, I DO NOT own Bleach or any of the characters!
1
The wind tearing through Uryu Ishida's raven strands was cold as ice. It whipped at his already shivering frame mercilessly and his clothes offered next to no protection. That evening, when he rushed out into the dark street, dressing warmly had been the last thing on his mind. He was still wearing slippers for god's sake and it was the middle of winter when the weather was at its most punishing best.
His body shivered violently but his mind was set and no matter how viciously the wind attacked him he will not be derailed from his task. The moon offered no illumination, her light smothered by a thick blanket of clouds. There were no stars that night. No life. His eyes glanced down at the turbulent river below him. Even from his position, on the bridge above the water, he could see the thin sheet of frost forming across the surface. In a week's time that ice would be strong enough to support the weight of ice-skaters...Too bad Ishida didn't have any time left.
His hands griped the iron framework of the bridge, his fingers snapping painfully having turned bone white from the cold. His mind was racing, running over the dreams he wouldn't have a chance to pursue, over the people he let down in the past and over his own wretched existence. He didn't fight the memories...
Ishida remembered the day with shocking clarity. The scent of lilies in the air, arranged in an aquamarine vase on a coffee table nearby; the sound of wood cracking as it was devoured by the licking flames in the mahogany mantelpiece; the soft feel of fur on his skin from the carped stretching across the wooden floor; even the taste of vanilla on his tongue from the creampuffs he'd enjoyed a mare minute ago.
Ironically enough that day had also been a winter day, the third day of Christmas in fact, and the festive air was still fresh and strong around him. He had been fourteen and back then he was eager for Christmas, like every child his age. Back then he was still hoping to catch his father's attention and make him proud. Back then he had been naive and stupid...
His fourteen year old self was in the kitchen, a goofy smile on his face while his eyebrows were knitted in deep concentration. The table was clustered with his sewing materials. Scraps of coloured cloth were pinned with needles of various sized which were in their own turn tangled in multi-coloured strings. Ishida could remember exactly the project he had been working on. It was one of his earliest prototypes, a small black cat toy with green buttons for eyes and a wide zipper smile. He still had it. The nameless, incomplete toy stood on his shelf like a constant reminder of that day, looking at him with its one eye and zipped grin.
But at the time he was oblivious to what was yet to happen. Uryu pocked the needle with its tail of black string through the cat's head, attaching the first eye. One more and he was complete. He raised the button to the plush head but just as he was about to poke the first hole he heard his father's voice summoning him. Back then he had been filled with childish joy at the thought of his father wanting to spend time with him. Ryuuken never had the time to be, what others called, a proper father since he was so busy with his work therefore any chance he had of spending even a minute with him was like a present.
Like the silly child he was, Ishida hurried to the library where his father was waiting for him. He dropped the cat with the needle in its unfinished eye on the chair. As soon as he gingerly parted the library doors the scent of lilies hit him in a pleasant wave. Lilies were his favourite flowers because of their heavenly parfume. His father was facing the mantelpiece, a strong fire already roaring inside it. The room was beautiful with volumes upon volumes of knowledge stacked on towering shelves. Ishida wondered if he'd ever have a chance to read it all, to know it all...
'I'm here father.' Uryu didn't say much for fear of saying something stupid. This man he admired so much was little more than a stranger to him, having spent such a short time in his presence. On the rare occasions when they came face to face, Uryu would always get self-conscious and reflexively go into 'quiet mode'.
'Uryu...' His father turned towards him as if surprised to find him there though he was the one who did the summoning. Or at least that's what Uryu imagined his reaction was since Ryuuken's face betrayed nothing. He could have been a living statue for all the emotional expressions he had.
'Yes father?' Their relationship was too formal and stiff for him to ever attempt calling his father something like dad or pops. It always reminded Uryu of the life of an aristocrat in the 18th/19th century...Something straight out of an Austen novel or a Bronte.
'Come over here.' Ryuken beckoned to his son with a slight flick of his finger, dignified and commanding, and Uryu was compelled to follow the instruction. He neared his father with open curiosity wondering why he was there. Had he done something wrong? Was he in trouble?
When the young boy was by his father's side he opened his mouth to voice a question but no words came out. Instead his eyes widened impossibly wide and his slight frame froze with shock. The sudden pressure against his lips was like nothing he had ever felt and his mind took a moment to catch up with what was happening, a moment in which he stood frozen and allowed Ryuken to deepen the kiss.
The wheels inside his brain finally began moving again and Uryu's first instinct was to struggle, to push his father away, even if he didn't fully understand what was happening. He was far too innocent to comprehend the true peril he was in. All he knew was that this was wrong, somehow. Something inside him, some self-preservative instinct wired deep within his existence, screamed at him to run. But Ryuken was far stronger and he caught the small wrists in his own with laughable ease.
The next series of things were a blur, his mind having tried so hard to shut the memories away and forget them, but he couldn't forget. He was scared and wounds that deep don't heal no matter how much time passed.
Ishida remembered his father pinning him to the floor, his back rubbing against the carpet which he once loved but after that day detested. He still didn't understand what was happening and he had no idea what would come next but he continued to struggle because that was the only thing he could do.
He tried kicking out when Ryuken peeled the trousers down his slender legs but he did as much harm as a rabbit in the clutches of a fox. Fear gripped his young heart when he realized he was completely naked and had Ryuuken's hands not pinned his own into the carpet he would have moved to hide his modesty. The heat from the flames next to him licked at his skin but he shivered uncontrollably none-the-less. The light threw strange shadows across his father's face and distorted the flawless features. However, his expression remained as impenetrable as always.
'Relax.' It was the only word Ryuken spoke during the whole act and Uryu blanched. He didn't register the word itself but the tone was so...fatherly. It was like nothing he'd heard before, at least not from Ryuuken's lips, and he unconsciously did what he always did. He followed his senior's command.
A pain so intense he couldn't even scream tore Uryu apart. He didn't understand the cause but it was excruciating. His body arched, trying to ease the torrent of hurt, while his fingers scraped desperately at the ones holding them down. He wanted to crawl away and hide in a corner. He wanted to escape from this horrible thing which was happening to him, this inexplicable thing. But he couldn't. The pain continued to leave and return in rhythmic thrusts, burning his flesh and tearing his muscles. Screams escaped his throat but they fell on deaf ears and soon his voice failed him.
He tasted something irony and hot on his tongue and realized it was his own blood. He accidently bit his tongue, though that pain barely registered when thrown against the other torture rushing through him like incinerating lightning. Maybe he was dying...Yes, that had to be it. Surely, a pain so intense could only be because his very soul was being ripped away from his flesh. Surely, what he was feeling was fatal. How could anyone survive after that?...
Somehow the thought gave him solace instead of fear. The thought of an ending on the horizon; peace. The hurt didn't subside. In fact it became worse, the piston like thrusts turning feral and losing their rhythm in order to turn wild and animalistic. Uryu's eyes were dry, having spilled the last of their tears, but they opened wide and accusingly, staring at the snow white ceiling. His sight dimmed, things slowly turning dark, and he saw the white above him gradually turn to red. He didn't understand the significance of that vision and frankly he didn't care. He just prayed for it all to end...
Something hot and liquid based shot through him and he felt it fill him. He heaved drily at the gross invasion of his privacy. For something to enter him so deep in places he didn't even know about seemed horrific in a way nothing else could be. He felt exposed and naked, even more so than when his father undressed him. But the pain subsided, at least the thrusts did.
Uryu didn't dare tear his eyes from the ceiling for fear he would see the monster who did this to him. He could still feel the stronger hands squeeze his wrists and the broader chest's heat radiating across him. He wasn't struggling anymore because he had no energy left. The child blinked once, twice, and didn't re-open his eyes a third time...
Ishida's eyes flew open. He was afraid but he couldn't remember why. His mind was sluggish with sleep and his memory was all fuzzy. He didn't move a muscle for a long time, trying to fight down this irrational fear. He turned his head and realized he was on the couch in the library, his eyes falling on the blazing fire in the mantelpiece...And his fears suddenly made sense.
He stood up and a pained cry left his lips as every part of his body seemed to be stabbed simultaneously. So...he hadn't died. Or maybe he had and he was in hell? But what could he have done so wrong to end up with the damned? The fear he'd felt upon waking up was but a dull echo of the despair pumping adrenalin through his bloodstream now. He looked around him fearfully, his sight dimmed by his lack of glasses. The shadows gathered in all corners of the room looked menacing and threatening.
Uryu hugged the summer blanked to his trembling frame. Wait...a blanket? He glanced down at the light blue material he was holding. Then his eyes strayed to the white shirt and dark trousers he was wearing. But then...had it really been just a twisted nightmare? Ishida moved his hand gingerly over the crisp, new material of his shirt and with clumsy fingers unbuttoned it.
No...Even with only the poor illumination from the fire Ishida could see the darkening bruises across his hips and the finger lines across his aching wrists. Plus every slight movement was met with a loud protest from his abused bones. He couldn't pinpoint the source of the pain exactly. It seemed to bloom from all over him, the small of his back, his hips, his thighs, his wrists, his head...
A noise froze him. He didn't dare breath for fear of being heard. His wide eyes darted from one shadowy corner to the other, expecting monstrous shapes to materialize into the room and come after him. He stood like a deer staring into the barrel of the gun for minutes on end, his heart pounding violently against his ribcage, before he was able to calm down a little. The noise had probably been just a mouse or a stray cat jumping on the window sill.
With considerable difficulty, Ishida brought his legs over the edge of the couch and winced when his feet touched the floor. Even that slight distribution of weight shot agony through his lower spine. Later, when he had time to think over that night clearly, Ishida realized it was the moment when he knew what he was capable of. It was the moment when he understood the hidden strength he didn't even know existed inside him. It was also the moment he knew he had to run away.
Swallowing down the tears and screams which threatened to spill, Uryu placed one foot before the other, only managing a slow walk. He left the blanket in an uncharacteristically messy heap. Though he was young, Ishida was far from stupid. He surprised himself by how rational he became once he found his aim. If he was going to run away then he would require some supplies.
He made his way to the kitchen, his feet nothing but a soft patter against the carpeted floor and his ears on constant alert. He stopped at every noise, even if said noises were tricks played by his paranoid mind. Better safe than sorry...The kitchen was the same as he'd left it, his materials littering the dining table. Slowly but meticulously and carefully, Ishida packed together some food which he knew would last and placed them in a shopping bag from one of the counter drawers. Next he had to consider some clothes for warmth, in case he would be forced to sleep outdoors. He would take the blanket before going out. And then there was the problem of money. Ishida looked around and found the cookie jar where their housekeeper kept some notes in case of some last minute grocery shopping. It wasn't much but it could buy him a room for a few nights at a cheap motel and some food on the side. The rest of the way he would just have to chance and improvise.
Uryu glanced around one last time, his blood racing, wondering if he should take anything else, and his eyes fell on the one-eyed black cat. On an impulse he picked it up and placed it in the bag as well.
Fearing he'd already wasted enough time, Ishida retraced his steps to the dreaded library and hastily folded the blanket. He moved as fast as his aching body allowed, growing more accustomed with the hurt by the second. The need to escape gave him strength and he didn't want to squander such a gift. He hoped to catch the first bus out of the city tonight, before his father would return home. It was a week day which meant Ryuken had night shifts at the hospital. If he was lucky then his father would immerse himself in his work and only return tomorrow morning, by which point he would be long gone. But then again, luck hadn't exactly favoured him lately...
Ishida slipped on his shoes and twisted the key in the front door lock. He didn't look back before he allowed the night to swallow him whole...
I'll try to update weekly, though i'm not making any promises since i'm starting collage next week and things are bound to get hectic. Still, I'll try my best! XD
I hope you liked (or at least were intrigued) and if u can please leave a review! I'll appreciate it greatly! XD
HAVE A LOVELY DAY!