"A few sandwiches short for picnic"

A Fan Fiction created by Tarashima

Part 1

I must have a deranged mind, or some lack of reasoning power, or maybe I'm just suffering from total loss of logic. But these kinds of things do never happen. Not in this world of the modern computerized and logical thinking. So what else would be the explanation of all this?

I've to admit that I've always been a bit of a dreamer. Lost in fandoms and obsession over different kind of things, like movies, comics, series and books, I can spend a lot of time on my obsessions without even thinking about it, or doubt its normality. And since I'm kind of an odd person, acquaints with no nerd properties don't find it worth the effort to get to know me better. But I don't mind, I'm happy with the few real friends I got, and I also feel pretty satisfied with my life and its geeky containing.

I wonder if the nerdy interests can be too much sometimes, like the brain suddenly twitch and start to mock you just for fun. Or maybe I was suffering from some sort of schizophrenia. Whatever the reason, it did happen, imaginary or not, I'm still not sure.

Well, I'm gonna tell you the story now…

I was sitting at home, chilling at my computer like I've done since November last year, when I'd come obsessed with one particularly movie and its special character; Buck from Ice Age 3. I'd tried to be logical and convince myself that he was nothing but a crazed weasel that didn't exist for real, but to no avail. The fact that I have a lovely boyfriend in real life didn't help either. What was his opinion about it? He just laughed, called me a crack-brained cutie and bought me a figurine of Buck for Christmas. I said to him that he shouldn't encourage me, but he didn't care about my attitude as usual.

My family also used to laugh at me, but in a more teasing way, like I was out of my mind to fall for a weasel. Most of the time, I didn't care about them, but when you have 6 siblings teasing you about it, it sometimes cross the line.

Lucky for me, I was about to move to my own apartment just within a few weeks. So in matter of just a short time, I would be free to do whatever I wanted and without receiving any mockery about it.

Sadly though, I'd almost packed all my stuff and moved it to a storeroom in the cellar of my new house. So the only things I had left for entertainment was my computer and Ice Age 3 on DVD. Don't get me wrong, I love that movie, but I didn't want to watch it every awoken second. I'd already learned all the lines after about the fourth time I'd saw it, and watching a movie when you've memorized it perfectible feels very predictable. And though I could entertain myself by drawing Buck, I was soon out pictures from the movie to copy. So what to do next?

I tried to watch the whole film in Swedish, but gave up almost immediately. If there's something we're good at in Sweden, it is to use same actors voicing too many different characters. And I couldn't forgive that they had used a Gothenburg actor with a vast dialect to play Buck. Instead of sounding like a crazed Australian adventurer, he sounded more like an old role-playing pirate, and that felt as a big no-no.

Now, I watched the movie with its Finnish voices, which sounded a lot better than the Swedish ones to my big surprise. I don't have that high thought of our neighbor country Finland or its weird language, so to discover that they have better actors in Ice Age 3, made me laugh at everything they said.

When the scene of Buck's theories over the broccoli came, I almost fell off my chair as I laughed insanely over it.

"C'mon, it wasn't that funny"

I silenced at once, that was definitively a voice I recognized, and not only because it was in English. I looked around my room, but it was empty.

"I'm just daydreaming" I thought and returned to the movie.

Then, something small and brown leaned its head over me, looking straight into my eyes.

"I don't even talk like that!"

I had almost fallen off my chair because of my laughing, but now, I fell off in scared surprise and with a frightened scream. The brown furry thing landed on my right knee, it had almost the same weight as our guinea pigs. But this didn't look like a guinea pig at all; it was long and tubular with a furry extensive tail and with a green patch over the right eye in its face. I blinked, and couldn't believe my eyes.

On my screen, the movie continued, but I wasn't watching it anymore. All I could do was too stare at the creature standing on my knee. It couldn't possibly be him!

"Okay, that's enough! Time for me to sleep, I must be dreaming with eyes open" I said out loud in Swedish.

But the small animal didn't disappear, or fade away as nothing but a daydream. Instead, he answered, even if I didn't grasp how he could understand me.

"Ya know ya aren't dreaming, so why ya even trying?"

"Of course I'm dreaming! You can't possibly be for real!" I said, feeling rather unused to talk in English.

"Oh, I'm definitely not real; I'm just an imaginary thought in yer head" he said with an ironic touch on his words.

"Precisely, I've watched the movie a bit too much" I said, unaware of the irony.

"What's a movie?" he asked, with his head tilted.

"A movie is a bunch of pictures that you've put together into moving frames…" I began but stopped. It wasn't until then I realized what I was doing and started to slap myself in the face.

"Wake up, wake up and stop this rid…ridiculous nonsense! You're just crazy and should be put in a mental!" I said angrily to myself. I opened my eyes and met a confused intensive blue eye.

"And what was that all about?"

I blinked and started to fell ill. I must've lost my mind for sure now; Buck couldn't be possibly standing on my knee, since he's a fiction character!

"You don't exist!" I tried again.

"Yes I do, I'm standing here" he said irritated.

"No you're not; you're from the movie running on my computer!"

"Oh, the flat thingy up there? Yes I saw myself on it, but don't understand how"

"Because that's a movie! Movies are not for real! You can't be for real! I must be dreaming or else I must be a schizophrenic idiot!"

"What's schizophrenic?"

"That's when you come up with stuff like this in your head, and can't get rid of them how hard you try"

"Maybe ya don't trying hard enough?"

"Oh, so it is my own fault then?"

On that, he didn't answer. I tried to calm down, and tried to think rationally. Buck couldn't exist anywhere else but in the movie, so he couldn't be standing on my knee. It had to be a realistic daydream, or a visualization created by my brain.

"Okay, maybe I've turned into a lunatic then, can you please disappear now?"

"Why?"

"Because it's driving me mad! You're created by Blue Sky Studios, and you're voiced by an actor called Simon Pegg, and you're… right now you're on my screen!"

I pointed at the screen where the movie had shifted to the scene that took place at the Plates of Woe. The weasel turned around and looked at it. He climbed up on to my desk to get a better view near the film and studied it carefully.

"Am I really that fat?"

"Knock it off, you're not fat! You're nothing but a stretched vine if you ask me"

He glared at me.

"Well, I don't understand what I'm doing there"

He returned his eye to the screen and tapped at it. I took his hand in a firm grip, stopping him from scratching the monitor with his claws.

"Stop that! It's vulnerable!"

Then I realized I was holding his hand in mine, and I could feel it! I released him and started to panic.

"That's it! I'm going to bed, and when I woke up to the more realistic world tomorrow, I hope that you're gone!"

He sniffed at me.

"Well, we'll see tomorrow" he said

I lifted him up with both my hands and stared at him. He felt as a combination of holding a cat with the same weight as a guinea pig with the shape of a ferret. But what would I know? I've never hold a weasel before.

"If it wasn't for the fact that don't owe one, I would say that I made a plush toy a bit too lively"

"What's a plush toy?"

I sighed. Then I put him down on the floor.

"Never mind, go to sleep and leave me alone"

I closed the media player which still had been playing the ice age movie. I was about to shut off the computer when Buck climbed up on my chair and stared at my screen.

"Hey, that's me!" he said, sounding rather amazed.

I felt rather ashamed, in the panic over my eventually schizophrenia I'd forgot about my wallpaper. Of course it was a picture of Buck, standing in a confidential pose with his body leaning on his knife. My family had seen it and laughed at me, but this was Buck, looking at himself.

The thought of it didn't make any sense in my head, so I shook my head and shut off the computer. Buck was still wearing an amazed face.

"Why do ya have a picture of me on the flat thingy?"

"Because I like you, but that's none of your business since you're nothing but a dream"

I took of my clothes and put myself to bed, trying to relax with my anxious mind when Buck jumped up, crawled to the end of my bed and made him comfortable. I looked down at him. He was leaning at the wall and had already closed his single eye.

"This can't be happening…" I mumbled to myself, and tried to relax.

End of part 1