Summary: Be warned! This is a crack-fic! Just my(crazy) opinion abt Jesus being married or not. Some people from Heavens included, and so is God!
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, they all belong to Heaven!
-To know if Jesus was married or not..-
Ask Him! If you like, have a direct link to Heaven, then He'll give you a straight answer! But if His aswers are not what you expect, then go to Mary Magdelene instead! (She might provide details as well since she's the wife and all..)
-If He was'nt married, just like the Bible claimed..-
Then you'll be the laughing stock of Heaven..Literally! (And God would stare daggers at His Son because we mentioned this..)
-To say that Peter an John were jealoUzz...-
Yes! They we're jealous! They just cant accept the fact that they've been outsmarted by a women! ( In History, men always won over womens..But this story says the otherwise)
- If they both did have a child..-
Mary might cursed her own life because she was forced, no, not forced..Asked! Yes, since she was 'asked' to take care of the spoilt but beautiful daughter of theirs.. ( And later when Sarah grows up, she would ask her great,great,great,great grandaughters to tell Leonardo Da Vinci to paint "The Last Supper'. And in the 20th century Dan Brown will be so InSpiredd he would write "The Da Vinci Code" ! )
-If Mona Lisa we're still alive-
She would be yelling at her own painting in an unknown language, and people took her to a mental hospital b'cuz she'll hunt for poor Dead Leonardo Da Vinci! (What the heck is Mona Lisa doing in the 21'st century? She probably time traveled..LOL)
-If The ENTIRE Heaven just knew abt this..-
God will interogate Jesus(C.S.I Miami Style) and Mary will feel guilty abt this for 7 hours and 50 days..( Because she gossips WAaaaaaaaayyyy to much! So much for being the wife..)
-If Dan Brown were to discover this fic and be mad at me-
Meh, I'll give him God's phone number so that he knows what I'm posting here is TrUe! ( If it's not then I'll run for my life! )
-If we were to meet with Jesus's last descendant-
I'll ask her/him to turn water into wine, heal the blind, make the crippled walk or walk on water!
And they will be so confused at this confusing statement by a very confusing author which will confuse the already Confused and so much more! ( Take this for granted! )
-To have, or not to have a phone..That is the question!-
Then everybody from Earth will be so confused because they always hear that 'NOKIA' tune from the Heavens! ( Lol, humans! Those were just Angels messing with their i-phones and our brains! )
Conclusion:This is one of the reasons why we Humans are afraid to ask these things. If we can't even type a " Are you married, Jesus?" prayer on a blog post, how can we we 'say' the prayer? Let alone to God! So folks, just believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins to save us. Amen!
To those who read this intentionally or acidently, please Revieeeeeew! It'll sure make my day!
Critictism will also be accepted if you found this, offensive.
Your crack fic author ,
-Ralex Luver-