Not Good Enough
Summary: Tsuna is not good enough. The only thing he did accomplish is being a useless person, capable of nothing. He knew his efforts were futile. Until he met Reborn.
Ever since Tsunayoshi Sawada, Tsuna for short, was a little boy, he has always been called "Dame-Tsuna" or "no-good-Tsuna" by other kids.
At a very young age he first experienced discrimination from his so called, "friends". Every time he would approach other kids and ask them if he could join them in the game that they were playing, the other kids would constantly say to him, "Dame-Tsuna! You are not allowed to join! You are just not good enough!" Then they would walk away from him as if he has some kind of disease and leave him alone and find some other place to play.
It has always gone this way. Every time, he would muster all his courage and ask other kids to let him join whatever they were doing. But in the end, he would always be warded off and be left alone to play all by himself. At first he was really sad because other kids were avoiding him like a plague and sometimes they would bully him just because he is "no-good". But over time, he learned to accept the fact that people just don't want him around them.
During elementary school, he would always be teased by his schoolmates because, while all of them could ride the bicycle well, Tsuna was the only one that still had his training wheels on. This just shows that he is not really good at doing anything.
Most of the time, Tsuna would feel sad that no one would accept him despite his many flaws. When he was younger, he would always hide inside the closet and wallow in self pity. He would cry for several hours and think about his uselessness. Sometimes he would blame himself because he is not good at anything. And because of that no one would bother to try to be his friend.
Over time, he came to accept that he really is a "no-good" person. He accepted that no one will go to him and ask him to be his friend because he is not good enough. He stopped trying to achieve anything because he knows that all of his efforts will only end in failure. And besides, the only thing he did accomplish is being a useless person, capable of nothing. He strongly believed that. He never tried to change anything because he knows within himself that it is impossible. He believed it strongly. He knew his efforts were futile.
Yes. He did believe it completely until Reborn came into his life and turned his world upside down.
All of a sudden, someone expects him to become something. To become something great. That is, to become a great Mafia boss. No one ever expected anything from him before. All of the others think that nothing is good about him. And that is the reason why he outright rejected it. He was never good at anything and having someone expect something from him is stupid. No one expects anything from Dame-Tsuna.
Ever since Reborn entered his house and told him about his Italian heritage and his fate of being the next Vongola boss, everything changed. It is because of Reborn that his life is becoming crazier by the day. He knew it was because of him. That was the truth. And it is also true that Reborn was the reason how he got to meet lots of people who became friends with him. They are a weird bunch, given. But it is also given that they were Tsuna's first real friends.
After spending a lot of time with them, he started believing that he is capable of becoming something more. That he has the potential to become somebody great, just like what Reborn told him he would be. And he thinks that it would really come true with the help of his friends.
Fight after fight, they stayed strong together. After defeating one enemy after another, their bond continued to strengthen and to grow. During those fights, he would tell himself, "If it's for my friends, then I would gladly risk my life to it!" He wanted to become someone for the sake of his friends who has always been supporting him in everything. Be it in school work, mafia business or just his personal problems. His friends would never fail to help him in times of trouble. They would be behind him and help him to move forward.
When they went to the future and he saw Uni die trying to save them and give them a peaceful past, he felt once again that he was the most useless person in the entire universe. Right before his eyes, he saw her disappear along with Gamma. He was there yet he was not able to save the life of an important friend. For what was all his efforts to become stronger, when a life of a dear friend is sacrificed? He failed. In the end he was still not good enough. He needed help to defeat Byakuran. And when he finally defeated him, he felt no happiness. He felt no triumph. He felt like it was an empty defeat because Uni, along with Gamma, died in the process. They died in front of him and he could not do anything.
But when realization hit him. Literary, courtesy of Reborn's little foot, he stood up and thought, "Uni sacrificed her life for us. Because of her, we will now be able to return to a more peaceful past." He smiled at that thought. He silently prayed and wished that wherever her soul would be, she would be happy. In his heart, he was greatly thankful for her for the brand new hope she has given them.
After they returned to the past, everything seemed to be back to normal. The usual Vongola-style wake up calls. Occasional stealing of food during breakfast. The walk with Yamamoto and Gokudera to school. Their arguments. Constant explosions inside the Sawada household because of Lambo's carelessness. Horrible day at school. Spartan training with Reborn.
This has become his daily routine. Through it all, Reborn was there. Either to add up to the mess he is already in and torture him, or to speak up and motivate him to fight. Reborn would always call him Dame-Tsuna, symbolizing the fact that he is still not good enough. That he still has a long way to go. But although the name never left, he slowly believed that he can be something. That he is something.
Maybe becoming the boss of Vongola is really his faith. From the start, he knew inside his heart that there was really no choice. There is no other way that will lead to another future. He is destined to be the next boss.
People trust him. His friends believe in him and support him. They admire him for his firm resolve. Although he still thinks that he is not good enough, he now believes that someday, he will get there. That someday, he himself will truly acknowledge that he had done a good job. That someday he will be good enough.
Author's note: So? How was it? BTW, if you hadn't noticed this is the end of my very short story. Hehe just joking! ^-^ Reviews, anyone? 3