Hermione Granger and the Bone Underwear
"What on earth is this?" A short laugh escaped the mouth of Hermione Granger as she took in the scene before her. Ron was holding up something large and white, with several holes in the sides, while Harry poked at it suspiciously with his wand, which was giving off blue sparks every time the tip touched the item. The pair looked up at her guiltily, Harry lowering his wand as he took in her silent laughter.
"We wanted to give you a present for your birthday, but I think we got the spell wrong," Ron mumbled, holding out the item so she could see. Hermione took it from him and glanced at it briefly. She raised an incredulous eyebrow, trying desperately to hold in her snickers.
"Honestly, boys, what spell were you two attempting to do?" she asked, extremely curious as to what could have caused such a reaction. Silence was all the answer she was given. She examined the item further, and she could see an interesting symbol engraved on the front. Anger flooded through her, and her head snapped up to face the two wizards. The pair, sensing immediate danger, slowly backed away, putting their hands up in protection.
"You stole my underwear, and then you spelled it into bone! How dare you!"
"We only wanted to make it vibrating underwear for your birthday! Honestly, you need to get laid, and we thought this might be close enough for you!" Ron shouted defensively. Harry shot him a warning glance, knowing that the statement had just made the situation that much worse. The brunette advanced on them, brandishing her wand in front of her. Her hair crackled with wild magic, making it look even bushier than it normally did.
"You wanted me to get laid? What kind of disgusting answer is that? You honestly expect me to want that at this age, when I have grades to worry about? And how do you know I haven't?" Her screams echoed around the room, reverberating back to them. A small thought flitted through Harry's mind, pondering on why nobody had heard them and how nobody was attempting to save them. "Just because you believe that I couldn't get a male to touch me, doesn't mean it's true!"
With a swish of her wand, the pair were hoisted up and stuck to the ceilings. Hermione stormed from the room, slamming it closed behind her. The bone underwear lay on the ground, abandoned in the middle of the shouting match. Harry blinked at the scarlet coloured floor, astonished and struck speechless by what had just occurred. But what exactly had happened? A whimper came from beside him, and Harry found he could turn his head to the side, just enough to spy tears falling from Ron's nose.
"This is all your fault, Ron! Stop complaining. We're only stuck to the ceiling. Someone will get us down eventually."
Ron shook his head, crinkling his face up in discomfort.
"'Mione gave me a wedgie, mate!"