Loki sits in the window sill with his legs crossed and a heavy book laying across his lap. His eyes scan the pages but he absorbs nothing, his mind preoccupied.
Laughter drifts through the open window along with a welcome, cool breeze.
Shifting, Loki peers through the glass and sees Thor seated on a bench beneath the tree below. He and Balder are caught in a very animated conversation. Thor laughs and smiles. His pearly white teeth shine in the sunlight. How Loki wished he could make his brother smile like that.
Loki frowns and closes the book. He moves to the large bookshelf and hoists the book back into its place.
A knock at the door startles him.
"Who is it?" He stalks over to the door.
"It's just me," Frigga chirps from the other side and Loki hesitates for a moment before opening the door.
"Yes, mother?" He asks as she sweeps into the room.
"I just wanted to check up on you." She smiles and sits in one of the high-back chairs by the window.
"Check on me?" Loki takes the chair opposite the woman who has raised him as her own all these years.
"Your absences in the banquet hall have not gone unnoticed, Loki."
It's true, he had been skipping meals recently.
"I just haven't been hungry," he lied. "I've recently found some new spells to practice."
She frowns, "then I would think you would be making a point to make it to meals. You get hungry when you've been practicing your magic."
Loki looks back at the window, hearing Thor chuckle again. He can feel Frigga's eyes on him and he squirms, bringing his gaze back to her.
"You really should make a point to come to meals," she stands and walks back to the door. "Thor is also worried about you."
His head snaps towards the door but she's already gone.
He huffs and returns to the window. Balder is gone, leaving only Thor in the garden.
He stretches out on the bench, his golden hair falling over the edges of the seat. He looks so… peaceful.
A noise disturbs Thor and he sits up. Someone must have called to him because he gets up and starts to make his away out of the garden. He looks up and sees Loki watching him. He smiles and waves.
"Are you going to come to dinner tonight, brother?" He calls.
"Possibly," Loki frowns and closes the window and curtains.
Ever since Sif started sitting next to Thor at meals, Loki has felt something change. Gone is the playful banter between brothers. Replaced by subdued conversation of war and other issues on Asgard. Important topics, for sure, but everyone needs times to relax and chat about their day. He'd been doing his best to avoid seeing his brother like that but, having been found out, he knew he'd after start showing up again.
The sun is beginning to sink behind the far palace tower. Loki lounges in his chair, looking over yet another book.
His stomach rumbles and he decides that he will go to the banquet hall.
He's surprised to see more people than usual filing into the large room. He slips into his seat and notices that Thor's seat sits empty. He looks up and down the table and sees him sitting directly next to Odin. His stomach sinks further when Sif strolls past her usual seat, pausing only to give a small smile and greeting to Loki. He nods and she continues to the seat next to Thor.
Of all the nights to come to dinner, he just had to come down tonight. Loki looks around to see if he can slip out of his chair and make an escape back to his bedchambers but almost everyone is now seated.
Odin rises and lifts his chalice.
"Thank you for coming, everyone." He looks at Thor and Sif and his eyes soften. Loki's stomach twists. "It is my honor to announce the engagement of my son, Thor, to the powerful and skilled lady-warrior, Sif."
This couldn't possibly be true! He looks towards Thor and is startled to see him gazing back. He wears a smile on his perfectly pink lips but his blue eyes are glazed with sadness.
Odin raises his glass, "to a long and happy life." Everyone repeats, Loki half heartedly, and drinks to the new couple.
"The wedding," Odin continues, "will be in a fortnight."
Two weeks? That's so soon Loki thought.
Loki picks at his meal, his appetite gone. He calls over one of the servants who ushers away his plate. He does his best to slip out of the noisy room unnoticed but he can feel Thor's gaze follow him to the door. He fights the urge to look back and makes his way to his bedchamber.
He hardly gets the door closed before a sob shutters through him. His brother would be leaving him forever. Off to have an heir with a woman that he can't be himself with.
Loki racks his brain to think of a time Sif has made Thor smile when discussing something other than their bedroom ventures.
His poor brother would soon be caught in an unhappy marriage and there was nothing Loki could do.
He crosses the room and climbs into the window, re closing the curtains behind him.
Pulling his knees to his chest, Loki gazes out the window and starts counting the stars.
After a while people start coming into the garden, making their way to the main gate of the palace. Loki pays little attention and continues his study of the sky.
There's a knock at the door but Loki doesn't move. He stays in the window, eyes transfixed on the full moon rising, his body obscured by the dark curtains.
After a second attempt at knocking, he hears the door open and footsteps entering his chambers.
Loki, suddenly aware that someone else was in the space, holds his breath for a moment, but refuses to avert his gaze from the heavens.
"Loki?" Thor's soft voice startles him and he turns his face to the dark curtain hiding him from his brother.
Thor's footsteps draw near but then fall away again as he moves about the room, searching for Loki.
Suddenly the footfalls stop.
"Loki," there is pain in his voice. "I am truly sorry, brother. I should have warned you that Odin would be announcing the engagement tonight."
There is the sound of leather rubbing against fabric as Thor sits in a chair just feet away from Loki's hiding spot.
"I was just so desperate to get you to come and eat something. Your health is suffering and I can see it. Now," his voice grows heavy, "I fear I have done something terrible to you. I fear I have broken your heart. I'm sorry."
There is a long moment of silence as Loki processes the words. He hears Thor stand and his footsteps slowly move towards the door. Loki feels a single tear spill from his eyes and fall down his cheek.
"Thor, wait," his voice cracks and he slides from his hiding spot, pulling the curtain back slightly, allowing some moonlight to illuminate the room.
"Loki," Thor closes the distance in a few massive steps and scoops up his brother, hugging him close. "Loki, I'm sorry."
He pushes his brother away after a moment.
"Loki, why haven't you been eating lately? Mother said she thought you were lying about your reason."
"She told you she visited then?" Loki turns and sits in the chair with his back to Thor.
"I sent her," he sits opposite. "You've grown more pale, you've gotten thinner, brother, you must eat."
"I'd rather starve than share a table with you and Sif," the venom in his voice makes him cringe and he can see a shadow fall across Thor's face as he turns away. But he doesn't apologize.
"Is it that obvious?" Thor says suddenly.
Loki raises an eyebrow, "obviously not since I don't know what you're referring to."
"Is it that obvious that Sif and I aren't that great of a match outside of sex? Which also may be a questionable match."
His jaw drops open. Was Thor openly admitting that he didn't want to marry Sif?
"I don't know that it's that obvious," Loki shifts in his chair. "But I have noticed you haven't been you since she started regularly joining you at meals."
"How so?"
"Well, even you get worn out after so much talk of war."
Thor chuckles softly, "true."
The brothers fall silent for a moment.
"So," Loki stands and crosses back to the window, admiring the stars again. "If you don't fit, why plan to marry?"
"A couple of reasons," Thor joins his brother at the window. Loki eyes him out of the corner of his eye. The way the moonlight reflects off his chest plate, the way it casts a shadow across his face, the way his hair seems darker than it is.
"What would those be?" Loki reaches out and cracks the window open, allowing cool air to spill into the room.
"For one, the person I'd rather marry isn't interested in me."
Yet another shock to Loki, "not interested in you? That's a first. What woman on Asgard doesn't have an interest in you?"
Thor chuckles and nudges him playfully, "perhaps it isn't a woman, brother."
Loki doesn't know why but the words send shivers down his spine.
"The other reason?" He presses on.
"Odin would never allow it. He has his heart set on me marrying Sif," Thor turns to his brother, "at least you can have whomever you like."
Loki laughs, a full body, hearty laugh.
"What's so funny?" Thor asks, suddenly somber.
"Me, have anyone I want?" Loki goes back to the chair. "In case you haven't noticed, Thor, I'm not you. All of the women in the kingdom swoon over you. Even the men admit that they fancy you. Who does that leave for me? So naturally, the one I want isn't remotely interested in me!"
Thor follows him back to the chair but doesn't sit, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
Loki cuts him off, "I'm used to it Thor." Suddenly feeling vulnerable he pulls his stocking covered feet into the chair and tucks his knees to his chest again. "I'm. Unwanted."
"Loki," Thor tries to rest his hand on his brother's shoulder but he shrugs it away.
"Like I said, Thor. I'm used to it. No one wants me," Loki feels a burning deep within, suddenly wanting to let out all his frustrations. "I'm nothing to anyone here!" He stands and nearly bumps his chest into Thor's.
"You are Thor, god of thunder, son of Odin, heir to the throne of the whole of Asgard. You have looks, muscles, power, stock. Next to you, who wants to be with Loki, god of mischief, son of Laufey who is an enemy of the Asgardians? Sure, I can manipulate people to love me or want to be with me, but I will never have anyone genuinely lust after me. I will never have anyone who wants to marry me. No. One. Wants. M-Me." His voice gives and tears cascade down his face.
Thor touches his face gently.
"Brother, I-I- must tell you something." He pulls Loki's chin up so he can see his brother's emerald green eyes. Thor smiles. Even though Loki's eyes are clouded by the tears streaming from them, they are stunningly beautiful, the color of a forest in the middle of summer. He tenderly wipes the tears away with his thumb.
Loki says nothing, he just looks into Thor's ocean eyes.
"I do not plan to marry Sif. I can't. I won't."
Loki starts to mumble something but Thor presses a finger to his lips.
"I don't want to be her husband. I don't want to be the father of her children. I just know Odin won't allow me to be with the one I love so I had to force myself to distance myself from the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with."
"And who's that?" Loki says quietly.
"You."
The weight of Thor's words wash over Loki, bringing a stillness to his heart. Of course, when they were teenagers and Loki became a man, Thor began to distance himself from him. Avoiding him during training, trying to slip out of any room Loki entered.
"Me?"
"Yes, Loki. You." He cups Loki's face in his hands. "I've known for many years that you are the one I want. You are the one I want to hold at night, the one I desire to make love to in the dark."
Loki felt his throat tighten and his groin start to get warm.
"I want to father your children, Loki. Not Sif's, not any blasted woman in this kingdom."
Loki could feel the emotion radiating from Thor as his chest heaved from the words he'd just spoken.
After a moment, Loki composes himself enough to speak.
"Thor. Brother, I have felt the same way for a long time. Why do you think I would avoid you if I saw you with Sif, or with any girl for that matter."
He sees Thor smile in the dim light, his teeth glittering.
Loki's heart skips a beat but he frowns, he can't deny himself the truth. "You are betrothed to Sif and there is nothing that can be done now. In two weeks time, you'll be married."
"But-" Thor tries to argue but he knows his brother is right.
"At least I know that someone cares and that I am desired by someone. That is enough for me."
"It's not enough for me," suddenly Thor grabs Loki's hips and crushes his mouth onto his brother's. He'd waited so long for this, he wasn't going to let the moment pass.
"Thor," Loki pushes away. "We can't. You are a taken man."
"I don't care anymore. I'm glad you are happy with the knowledge that I desire you more than anything. But I don't want to stop until you believe it." He kisses him again, this time Loki gives in.
"I don't want to stop until," he moves his lips to Loki's ear and drops his voice to a barely audible whisper. "I don't want to stop until you are screaming my name. Begging me," He runs his hand down Loki's chest and rests it on his groin now hot and very hard, "to fuck you. I have wanted this so much, Loki. Please."
Loki battles inside his head but pushes him back. "We can't."
Thor's heart visibly breaks. Pain reaching every inch of his chiseled face.
"Loki, please," he begs. "If I am to be married, fine. But please, let me have you once so I can have something to think back to when I'm forced to bed a woman I do not love."
He sounds like a man pleading for his life.
"If we do this, neither of us will be able to go back to the way things should be," Loki says cooly.
"I will fight against my marriage more if I must then, Loki. Please," Thor entwines his fingers in Loki's hair and pulls him into another kiss.
As much as Loki wants to deny it, the passion behind Thor's words is too much. He kisses his brother back with everything he has. He feels a smile form on Thor's lips when Loki runs his tongue gently over his bottom lip before entering his mouth.
Thor lets out a low growl as his brother explores his mouth, their tongues dancing. His hand drifts back down to Loki's bulge.
"Take them off," he tugs on the pants restraining Loki's erection. Now it's Loki who smiles, breaking the kiss.
"Not yet, dear brother. I've wanted this for a long time too. And if this is to be the only time, I intend to fully enjoy it." He leads Thor to his bed and unclips his chest plate. Thor's light armor and cape fall to the carpet with a thud revealing a marble cut chest and perfectly chiseled abs, his tan skin paled by the moonlight.
Gently, Loki runs his fingers over the peaks and valleys of the magnificent god before him.
It was better than anything he'd ever dreamed about.
"Thor, you're gorgeous," he pushes Thor down to sit on the bed and bends down to kiss him again.
Thor chuckles, his voice deep and rough, nothing like when he first spoke with Loki just a short time ago.
"What's so funny?" Loki pushes him back on the bed and straddles him.
"I've waited my whole life to hear you say that," he pushes up Loki's shirt and pulls it off.
"Have the many women you've been with never called you that?"
"Oh every. Single. One," suddenly Loki is on his back, Thor's face inches from his, his golden mane reflecting light into his gleaming blue eyes. "But none of them mattered, they weren't you."
Loki smiles and slips his hand into his brother's impossibly soft hair and pulled his face to his, craving his lips again.
Thor slowly kisses away from Loki's mouth, over his cheek and onto his neck. He nips and is rewarded with a quiet moan from his brother.
He continues his trek southward, dropping kisses and little bites over his collarbone and to his nipple.
Loki takes a sharp breath when Thor takes his firm nipple into his mouth. Emboldened, Thor makes a pass at Loki's crotch and moves his fingers up to his pant's button. After fumbling for a moment, he frees Loki of his pants and sits up, pulling them off in one swift motion.
He leans back in but Loki sits up.
"It's only fair, brother. Mine are off, yours should be too," he smirks as Thor immediately drops his trousers and kicks them off to the side.
Loki drinks in the sight of his naked brother, his cock standing firmly at attention. It's bigger than Loki pictured but he looked forward to tasting it nonetheless.
He reaches out to touch it but Thor stops him.
"Not yet, Loki. I want to please you a bit first," he pushes Loki back down on the bed and climbs between his legs.
"You cock is perfect," he wraps his hand around Loki's length and slowly strokes it. He watches his face while he pumps in steady rhythm. Loki's eyes roll back a little and his back arches.
"So good," Loki moans. Thor smiles and licks his lips.
"Yes, perfect and," he licks a drop of precum from the tip, "delicious."
He licks the small slit at the head of Loki's cock again and wraps his lips around it, his tongue drawing circles.
"Thor," Loki growls inching his hips up and pushing himself into his brother's mouth.
He doesn't fight and lets Loki in all the way to the back of his throat. He breathes and lets him in farther, careful to control his gag reflex. He holds it there for a moment before backing off and diving back down.
Loki can't believe how good it feels having his brother sucking his dick. He places a hand on the back of Thor's head, coaxing him to take it deeper.
He picks up intensity and lets off at just the right time and Loki feels his orgasm building dangerously close.
"Yes, keep, going," he pants. "I'm going to come, Thor." He lifts his hips and tries to fuck Thor's mouth but he fights off Loki's hand and comes up for air.
"Not yet, you're not," he coos.
Loki throws his head back onto the mattress, "please?"
"Not until I fuck you properly, brother."
"Grr..."
"But I'd like you to suck my cock first," He stands and pulls Loki to his feet. Loki smiles and drops to his knees.
He wraps one hand firmly around his brother's massive shaft.
"I'm not going to lie brother, I've not much experience with lip service."
"Then I'll guide you. Lick your lips," Thor threads his fingers through Loki's hair and pulls him slowly onto him.
He moves his brother back and forth slowly, pushing a little deeper each time, letting him get used to the large member invading his mouth.
"Take a deep breathe, Loki. I'm pushing all the way in this time." He pulls Loki off, letting him catch his breath. "Ready?"
Loki nods and he pushes back into his mouth. Deeper and deeper his cock goes. He looks down and watches the last few inches disappear into Loki's mouth. He feels his brother's mouth resisting and bucking against the massive foreign object but he holds him there.
"Just another moment, brother, you're doing so well," Thor gives another little push into Loki's mouth and pulls out.
"Thor..." Loki looks up at his brother, "give me more. Please. I want to come so badly."
His fingers are wrapped around his own shaft as he speaks.
"Get up and lay on your back. I'm going to fuck you until we both come."
He climbs back between Loki's legs and leans in and Loki kisses him.
"Brother, you have no idea how much I've wanted this for so long..." he strokes Loki again.
"I know, Thor. I've wanted it too. Now fuck me already," he smirks and nips Thor's lips.
Thor sits up and licks his finger and rubs it on Loki's asshole before sliding it in. He works his finger in and out, loosening the tight hole.
Loki squirms under his attentions and Thor basks in it. Sif was never this animated in bed. Sure she did well with her mouth and her lady regions were nice, but nothing compare to this, being able to actually give pleasure instead of being insisted he only please himself.
He withdraws his finger and wraps his hand around his own shaft and pumps it.
"I love you, Loki," he places his cock at Loki's entrance and pushes his first couple inches in.
Loki cries out and Thor stops dead. "I'm sorry, brother!" He starts to pull out but Loki grabs his hips.
"No, keep going. Yes, it hurts but it feels wonderful," his eyes are misty but his voice is steady.
Thor nods and pushes further and farther until he's sheathed to the hilt.
"Ugh, Loki, you're so tight here," he pulls out to the head and then back in, quickly establishing a steady pace.
He lifts Loki's legs up to his shoulder and continues furiously fucking him.
He looks down to see Loki pleasing himself but he knocks his hand out of the way.
"Let me," he grunts, stroking in time with his thrusts.
The air fills with quiet grunts and the sound of skin slapping skin.
Thor feels his orgasm coming and he starts fucking Loki with wild abandon, furiously stroking his cock at the same pace.
"Thor... I'm gonna," Loki moans.
"Yes, Loki, come for me. I'm going to come for you and moment," he pants. "Come for me brother."
"Thor," Loki moans and his back arches, his cum exploding all over Thor's hand and his own belly and chest.
"That's it, yes," another pass and Thor comes fully buried in his brother's ass. "Lokiii..."
Outside there is a clap of thunder and the sound of rain on the window pane.
He slowly withdraws from Loki and collapses next to him.
They lay desperately trying to catch their breath for a moment.
"Loki," Thor rolls and wraps his brother in his arms.
"Thor," he whispers. "I love you. I'll remember this forever."
"As will I brother. And I will say this," he kisses Loki tenderly. "I am absolutely not marrying Sif. I'd rather fall into Odinsleep than be without you ever again."
The two slip under the blankets and Loki falls asleep with his head resting on Thor's mighty chest. The steady sound of his heart the perfect lullaby.
Thor smiles at the man that has been raised as his brother. He tucks a stray strand of raven colored hair behind Loki's ear and drifts off to sleep listening to the distant rolls of thunder drifting through the window.
XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxx
When he wakes in the morning, Thor can hear the sound of birds and feel a cool breeze but doesn't dare open his eyes. His dream was so wonderful, he didn't want to let go. Loki was so glorious and he was able to give and receive more pleasure than with any woman.
He didn't want to open his eyes and see Sif's dark brown hair draping across his chest.
For a moment he relishes the thought and slowly opens his eyes.
It takes a second for the room to register in his head. The dark curtains, the green silk sheets, the clothes scattered around the bed, and the raven haired figure nestled under his arm.
He nearly yells with excitement but doesn't want to jolt his brother awake.
Instead he give his brother a gentle squeeze and he stirs.
"Good morning, Loki," he smiles as his favorite green eyes lift to see the source of the sound.
"Good morning," he wiggles out from Thor's side and sits up. "Last night wasn't a dream?"
"No, it was real. One hundred percent real," he rolls towards Loki and reaches out to his face.
Loki touches his hand as it rests on his cheek. He leans in and rests his lips on Thor's.
They kiss tenderly for a few minutes.
"It's daylight now, brother," Loki breaks the kiss, suddenly sobered.
"Loki, I-" he reaches for his brother again.
"You must. You are to be married in thirteen days now. You must go back to her," he stands and grabs his green satin robe and slips it on.
"I don't want to go back to her, Loki," Thor stands and rounds the bed to his brother. "I told you last night, you're the only one I want."
"You also admitted last night that Odin would never allow it, and we both know that's true."
Thor opens his mouth but words fail him.
"It's alright, brother. Last night was wonderful and I will never forget it. But we both know we must move on," he stands on tiptoe and gives Thor a kiss on his stubbled cheek. "I love you."
Thor closes his eyes, relishing the words in his ears, "I love you too, Loki." His eyes snap open when his words are met with the click of a door.
Loki was gone, off to take his morning bath, without another word.
"Loki?" Thor whispers to the now-empty room, tears fall freely down his face. He picks up his clothes and slips his pants on. Slowly, he makes his way back to his bedchambers to bathe before breakfast.