PART ONE: SPLINTER
It's the perfect night to get drunk, really, in Clarke's expert opinion. She's finished all her exams, Raven and Monty are a few tests away from completing their new invention, she's single and she's got her four best friends around her. Plus, Bellamy's leaving tomorrow and she's doing her best to forget it.
"Okay, so you're telling me, you just put this Firebird thing around your neck and you can transport into the body of yourself in any other parallel universe?" Octavia slurs from her spot on the floor. Raven and Monty started an impromptu presentation about their joint project about half an hour ago, and despite their drunkenness, it's actually been quite cohesive.
Jasper and Harper left an hour ago, narrowly missing this lecture. Clarke kind of envies them.
"Exactly," Monty grins. "Unless you're dead in that universe. Or don't exist."
"Wait so, just because you're dead in one universe, doesn't mean you're dead everywhere?" Octavia sits up.
"Uh, theoretically," Monty says nervously. Clarke catches Bellamy's eye. It's not hard to guess where Octavia's mind has leapt to. It's been a year since Lincoln's death, but they all know how hard Octavia still feels it.
"I want to try it," Octavia demands.
"Hold your horses, it's not done yet," Raven says. "We're not entirely sure it's safe to use."
"There's still a possibility there's a risk of uh, splintering," Monty agrees.
"Splintering? What's splintering?" Clarke asks. She's heard her housemates go off on many a tangent about the Firebird over the last four years, but she's never heard either of them mention splintering before.
"It's when your soul gets split into pieces and scattered over multiple different universes," Raven shrugs, like it's no big deal.
"Fuck no," Octavia grimaces, taking a sip of her beer before lying back on the ground. Clarke is surprised it was that easy to dissuade her. The five of them fall into an easy silence as they all take a sip from their respective drinks.
"Guys," Bellamy says. "As much fun as I'm having, I think I need to go to bed. I've got a long day tomorrow."
Clarke's stomach clenches. She'd almost forgotten about him moving to the other side of the country for a moment there, but with one simple statement, reality comes crashing down. He's going. She's not going to wake up to him singing badly while he cooks breakfast. She's not going to snuggle into his side and watch movies after a long day of classes. They aren't going to babysit the girl next door together, and tell her mom they gave her vegetables when really, they gave her pizza.
"No," she says, trying not to sound like a whiny three-year-old. "Don't go to bed yet." Morning will come quicker if they go to sleep. Bellamy tilts his head, gives her a sad smile.
"I'll see you in the morning," he says. He gets up, and Clarke feels her throat constrict. She wants to cry, but she swallows, managing to keep the tears at bay.
The other give him a chorus of goodnights, and he makes his way to his room.
"Can I crash here tonight?" Octavia asks. "I'm too drunk slash exhausted to go home."
"Yeah," Clarke says, standing up. "Here, have the couch. I think I'm going to hit the hay too." She's feeling too bummed out to continue drinking with the others anyway, she'll only bring them down. She hands Raven her half-finished drink and pads down the hall to her bedroom, not bothering to get changed or brush her teeth before collapsing onto her bed. Once her face is buried in her pillow, she lets her tears fall.
She's not lying there long when her door is pushed open and a stream of light lands on her face. She quickly wipes her tears on the back of her hand. The door closes, and Raven lies down on the bed next to her, spooning her. Clarke can't stop herself from crying again.
"Why does he have to go?" she whispers.
"I don't know, Clarke," Raven says. "Maybe you should ask him that."
"I can't," Clarke says. "He has to think I'm happy for him."
The girls fall silent for a moment before Raven speaks again.
"You know, he'd stay if you asked him to," she says softly. Clarke has no idea if Raven is right, but she knows she couldn't possibly ask him to do that. Whatever it is Bellamy wants, whatever he's looking for, it's his life, and he has to make his own decisions, no matter how much Clarke would like to change his mind.
Bellamy comes crashing into her room at 6am, waking her from her slumber. Raven must have disappeared some time during the night, because Clarke finds herself in bed alone.
"Clarke," he says, sounding tense and on edge. Clarke sits up groggily.
"What is it?" she asks.
"Did Octavia go home last night?"
"She slept on the couch," Clarke tells him.
"Shit," he says, rubbing his hand down his face. "Shit. She's not here."
"She's not here?"
"I think she took the Firebird," Bellamy says, panicking. "I have to go after her."
Clarke is really awake now.
"Okay, slow down," she says, getting out of bed. "You don't know that. She doesn't know how to use it. Maybe she just went for an early morning run."
Bellamy nods, but Clarke can tell he doesn't quite believe it.
"Let's go and check if both the Firebirds are still there."
The two of them hurry to Raven and Monty's lab, also known as the basement, and Clarke pulls open the cabinet where the Firebirds are kept. The cabinet that is usually locked, but now easily swings open. Her stomach drops. This is not a good sign.
Sure enough, there is only one Firebird hanging in the cabinet, the little metal ball mocking her, glinting where it hangs on a silver chain. She stares into the cabinet.
"Well?" Bellamy prompts.
"It's gone," Clarke confirms.
"Shit," Bellamy groans. "What if she got splintered? Give me the other one, I have to go and get her!"
"Just chill out," Clarke says. "We need to speak to Raven."
Just as she says the words, Raven appears at the bottom of the stairs. Monty is just behind her.
"Speak to me about what? What are you guys doing down here?" Raven frowns. "And why is that cabinet open?"
"Octavia's gone," Bellamy says. "She took the Firebird."
"What?"
"It's true," Clarke confirms.
"Oh no," Monty groans. "This is bad. This is very very bad."
"Has she been splintered?" Bellamy asks anxiously. "Is there any way to get her back?"
"We won't be able to tell if she's been splintered until we find her," Raven says, ever the level headed one. "Luckily, Monty and I installed a tracking mode on each of the Firebirds, so they can find each other."
"So I can go after her," Bellamy says.
"Bellamy," Clarke warns him. He can't just go flying off into another universe. Who knows what might happen to him?
"Clarke, I have to go after my sister. If anything happens to her…"
"You can go after her," Raven says. "Just let us make sure it really is safe to use. If she is splintered, a little extra time isn't going to matter. And if she's not, maybe she'll come back on her own."
Bellamy looks pained. He's tense all over, and Clarke can tell it's taking all his self-control not to just grab the Firebird and go racing after Octavia. But he nods, and Clarke breathes a sigh of relief.
"Okay," Raven nods at him. "It should only take a couple of hours."
She ushers Clarke and Bellamy back upstairs, claiming their presence will be a distraction.
"You okay?" Clarke asks Bellamy.
"I'll be better once we've found Octavia," he says. "I need some air."
Clarke nods and lets him go, heading towards her room. She's still in last nights clothes and she feels like she's starting to smell. She barely makes it two steps into her room before Raven is calling her, panicked.
Clarke runs back towards the basement, Raven meeting her at the top of the stairs.
"Where's Bellamy?" she asks urgently, grabbing Clarke by the shoulders.
"He just went outside," Clarke says. "Why?"
"He took the fucking Firebird."
"Fuck."
"Why are those Blakes so fucking reckless?" Raven groans.
"What can we do?"
"We can't do anything."
"What do you mean we can't do anything?"
"We only made two Firebirds. It would take us weeks to build another one, maybe longer. We just have to wait and hope one of them comes back," Raven says.
"Wait?" Clarke repeats incredulously. "No. Start building."
"Clarke," Raven starts, exasperated.
"What if neither of them comes back, Raven? What then?" Clarke presses. Raven chews her lip. "Please," Clarke begs.
"Fine," Raven agrees. She heads back downstairs, while Clarke makes her way to the front yard. Just in case Bellamy hasn't gone. Maybe he's reconsidered.
She finds the yard empty though.
"Bellamy!" she calls, the wind catching her voice. No response. She feels sick to her stomach. What if he never comes back?
"Clarke?" a voice says, and Clarke looks to her right to see the girl next door poking her head over the fence.
"Hey, Madi," Clarke says. "Have you seen Bellamy?"
"No, sorry," the girl shakes her head. "Isn't he leaving today?"
"Yeah," Clarke says, a lump forming in her throat.
"You gonna tell him you're in love with him?"
"I'm not in love with him."
"Whatever you say, Clarke."
Raven and Monty work tirelessly all day, and halfway through the night. Clarke wants to tell them not to stop. But then she sees their tired, worried faces, and she realises they're doing the best they can. She pulls each of them into a hug before they head to their separate rooms to crash.
Clarke lies awake for hours, finally drifting off around 5am, only to be woken three hours later by someone shaking her awake.
"Bellamy?" she asks groggily. Light filters in through the gaps in the blind. Clarke blinks, trying to get her eyes to adjust.
"Close. It's Octavia."
Clarke sits bolt upright. "Octavia?"
"I just wanted to let you know I'm back. I went to Bell's room but he's not there."
Clarke wants to strangle her. "That's because he went after you!" Clarke snaps. "Didn't he find you?"
Octavia shakes her head slowly. "He came after me?"
"Of course he did! What did you think he was going to do?"
Octavia shrugs. "Maybe he'll come back when he realises I'm not there."
Maybe, Clarke thinks. Or maybe he's been splintered and can't come back. Or maybe he likes it better in some other universe and doesn't want to come back.
"I just wanted to see Lincoln one last time," Octavia whispers. "Just once."
Clarke softens, noticing for the first time Octavia's red eyes and blotchy face. She's obviously been crying. "I know," Clarke says. "Give me the Firebird and go and get some rest."
Octavia hands the necklace over, and makes for the door. She turns back. "Good luck," she says, shutting the door on her way out.
Clarke looks at the silver ball, turning it over in her hand. It looks just like an ordinary necklace, the tiny buttons glittering like little white jewels. Each is labelled in tiny print. Finding the button that says TRACK, Clarke puts the chain around her neck and presses the button.
She lurches forward, her head spinning. She swallows, straightening, the momentary dizziness fading.
"Clarke? Are you okay?" someone asks. It's Raven. Not her Raven, of course. This universe's Raven. Only, as Clarke begins to get her bearings, she realises this universe can't be too different to her own. She's standing in a hallway at her university, the one she attends back in her own universe. Sunlight streams through the glass roof. Clarke has always loved the openness of the buildings on campus.
"I'm fine," Clarke says. "What were you saying?"
"I was saying since we'll both be done with exams today, we should invite some people over for drinks tonight," Raven says.
"Yeah, sounds good," Clarke agrees. "Um, what time is my exam again?"
Raven looks at her strangely. "10am. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Positive," Clarke says. She looks down at her watch. Her father's watch. So he's still dead in this timeline. It doesn't matter, she reminds herself, you're here for Bellamy. The time reads 8:03am. She still has a couple of hours before the exam. If she can find Bellamy and get out of here by then, the real Clarke of this universe can do the exam, and she can return to her own body.
"Hey, I need to talk to Bellamy," Clarke says to Raven. "Do you know where he is?"
"Bellamy Blake?" Raven says incredulously. "What do you need to talk to him for?"
The way she says it makes Clarke's stomach clench. Is it strange for her to want to talk to Bellamy? Are they not friends in this universe? How can she explain to this Raven why she wants to talk to Bellamy when she has no idea what the relationship between this Clarke and this Bellamy is?
She has a thought then. Perhaps this Raven is also building an interdimensional travel device.
"Raven," Clarke says. "What is it that you and Monty are working on together again?"
"The Firebird?"
"Yes! The Firebird!" Clarke says gleefully. "It lets you travel between universes, right?"
"Do you ever listen to anything I say? It's time travel," Raven huffs. Clarke sighs in disappointment. "And it's nowhere near being done."
"Do you know where Bellamy is or not?"
"Probably in the library, where he works," Raven says, as if Clarke should already know this. "But I still don't know why—"
"I'll explain later!" Clarke calls, already running off in the direction of the library. She won't explain later, but it's easier to say that than to try and explain now. Now to just hope the library is in the same spot in this universe as it is in her own.
Thankfully, the university layout appears to be identical in both universities, and Clarke finds the library easily. She stops in the doorway, her heart skittering when she sees Bellamy working the front desk. He's smiling as he scans a few books for a student, chatting with the young freshman. She looks absolutely dazzled by him. Clarke smiles to herself.
Someone walks into her from behind and Clarke remembers why she's there.
"Don't stand in doorways," the guy grumbles as he pushes past her and into the library.
"Sorry," Clarke mutters. She walks towards the front desk and stands behind the freshman who's trying to flirt with Bellamy.
"Okay, see you next time, Fox," Bellamy winks, and the girl blushes as she takes her books and heads towards the exit. Clarke steps up to the counter and Bellamy's face immediately turns into a scowl.
"Bellamy, it's me," she says. But she already knows this isn't her Bellamy. Her Bellamy would never look at her with such disgust. She wonders what this Clarke could possibly have done to make him hate her so much.
"Princess Griffin," Bellamy spits. "What do you want?"
The venom in his voice stings, even though she knows it's not really him.
"Nothing," she says. Perhaps the real Bellamy is already back home. She's about to leave when she spots a glint of silver hanging around his neck. She reaches out and grabs it. The Firebird. She feels like she might be sick.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
She yanks the chain from around his neck, snapping it in two.
"What is that?" Bellamy asks in confusion.
"Never mind," Clarke says softly. He's been splintered. That's the only explanation. She has to get back to Raven and Monty so they can tell her how to fix this, how to get him back. She gives him one last look before disappearing into the rows of books. She finds a secluded corner and studies the pendant around her neck until she finds a button that says HOME. This Clarke is going to be confused as hell in a few seconds. She presses the button.
She's sitting on her bed, exactly as she was before she left, only now she has two Firebirds. The one around her neck, and the broken one she took from Bellamy. She throws back the covers and jumps out of bed.
"Raven! Monty!" she yells, hurrying out of her room.
"Clarke!" Monty calls back. He, Raven and Octavia rush upstairs from the basement, meeting her in the living room. "Octavia told us you went after Bellamy."
"Everyone in this house needs to stop being so goddamn reckless," Raven scolds, as if she's never done anything reckless in her life.
"Did you find him?" Octavia asks.
"He's been splintered," Clarke holds out her hand, revealing the broken Firebird. Raven immediately snatches it from her hand. "Raven," Clarke says. Her voice wobbles. She can't cry. She has to remain level headed so she can get Bellamy back. "Tell me what I need to do."
Raven sets up the Firebird for her, the working one. She fiddles around with the broken one for a few hours, getting as much information from it as she can.
"Okay," Raven says, handing Clarke the working Firebird. They stand around the work table in the lab, Monty and Octavia watching on anxiously. "From what Monty and I could gather, he's been split into five parts. That's manageable. You already know where the first part is. All you have to do to collect the piece of Bellamy's soul is press the Firebird against his skin, and squeeze. It will give him a slight shock, but the piece of our Bellamy will be stored in your Firebird."
"How do I find the other four Bellamys?"
"I've already programmed in the coordinates for the other four universes. The Firebird may not work properly, but at least it still stores all the information like it's supposed to," Raven says. "All you need to do to go to the next one is press the go button." She points to it on the Firebird. "But you can't go backwards. You can only go to the next one, so make sure you've got him before you go."
Clarke nods. Raven pulls her into a hug. "Good luck," she whispers. Monty hugs Clarke next, and then Octavia, both wishing her luck.
"We'll try and fix the broken one while you're gone," Monty says. Clarke nods and smiles, not trusting herself to actually speak. She holds her thumb over the go button. Taking a deep breath, she presses.
The dizziness hits her again, but at least this time she's sitting down. She looks down in front of her. Fuck. The exam. She looks up at the clock. 10:51am. She's still got an hour left, if her exams here run for the same time as her exams back home. She could just leave and go and find Bellamy, but as much as she's desperate to have him back, she's also not so heartless as to mess up her alternate self's life by running out on her final exam. She'll just have to do it.
Reading through the questions, she realises, somehow, that this exam is almost exactly the same as she's already done, and the Clarke of this world has already completed half of them. She finishes the exam in record time and hands it in, hoping it's good enough to pass. Now just to find Bellamy.
She heads back towards the library. It's only been a few hours, he'll probably still be working there. Halfway there, she's startled by her jacket pocket vibrating and playing a song she's never heard before. She stops, tentatively pulling a phone out of her pocket. Presumably hers.
Her stomach drops. Lexa's face stares back at her, smiling. There's a heart emoji after her name. Once upon a time there was a heart emoji next to Lexa's face in Clarke's own phone. Now her number isn't even in there. Clarke drags her thumb across the screen and puts the phone to her ear.
"Hello?" she says.
"Hey, good, you're done with your exam. I need you to come and help me study for mine," Lexa says. No, how did your exam go? No, nice to hear your voice. No pleasantries at all. The real Lexa had been much the same.
"Okay," Clarke says. "I just have to drop something off at the library and then I'll be right there."
Lexa ends the call without so much as a goodbye, and Clarke shoves the phone back into her pocket. She continues on to the library. Bellamy isn't at the front desk anymore, but that doesn't mean he isn't here. She starts searching the aisles for him, and finds him re-shelving books about three rows in.
"Bellamy," she says as she approaches. He looks up, frowning when he sees her.
"You again?" He goes back to putting books on shelves. "What do you want?"
"I need to show you something," she says. He eyes her suspiciously.
"Why are you even talking to me?" Bellamy scowls. "Normally you don't give me the time of day."
Clarke winces. She gets the feeling she wouldn't like this version of herself very much.
"Bellamy, can I ask you something?"
"You're going to anyway."
"Am I… a snob?" She braces herself for his answer. "Is that why you hate me?" He snorts in laughter.
"That's putting it lightly. Remember how you wrote that article saying it isn't fair that disadvantaged kids get given opportunities based on their background?"
Bellamy watches her for a second while she processes the information. "Also, you got my sister expelled because you helped her with an essay and then told her professor she plagiarised it from you. Ring any bells?"
Clarke sucks in a breath.
"Is that all you wanted?" Bellamy says bitterly.
Clarke shakes her head. "Give me your hand." There isn't anything she can do for this Clarke. She can only hope that one day she'll wake up and realise that she's a terrible person.
"My hand? No!" Bellamy says.
"Please, Bellamy," she says desperately. And maybe it's the piece of her own Bellamy in him, or maybe he's just a good person, but concern flickers in his eyes.
"What's going on, Clarke?"
"I wish I could tell you."
She pulls the firebird from around her neck. His eyes flash in recognition.
"That's the thing you took from me this morning. What is it?"
"A gateway to another dimension?"
"Fuck. You're completely insane."
"Probably." She lunges for his hand, pressing the Firebird against it and squeezing. Bellamy yelps and pulls his hand away. Clarke glances at the Firebird. The crystals glow orange for a second before returning to their white colour. She has what she needs.
"What the hell was that?"
Clarke puts the Firebird around her neck.
"Bellamy, I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through," she says. "In a few seconds I'm probably going to be very confused about what just happened here. But I know somewhere inside me there's good. So please don't give up on me yet."
Bellamy opens his mouth to speak, a confused expression on his face. Clarke presses the go button before he can say anything, and then she's hurtling through time and space and into a completely unknown dimension.