This is something that came to me a couple of days ago. It's just some random idea... quite silly, actually.
It's about Sweeney trying to be happy again and frankly the scenario is highly unrealistic. But I enjoyed writing it, mainly because I needed some happy romance in my life again.

Luckily I decided to share, so go on: Read and be happy :)

Disclaimer: It pains me not only psychologically, but also physically to tell you that I currently do not - and most likely never will - own Sweeney Todd.

Change of Heart

Selfish. That's what he is. He's well aware of that as he draws soft invisible patterns on the pale skin of the woman lying next to him with his right index finger, barely touching her. As he traces the full length of her arm he marvels at how soft her skin is, how flawless it seems compared to his own. She doesn't stir even once next to him, her breathing calm and steady, and he envies her for it. He rarely sleeps after their night time activities. Rarely sleeps at all. Sleep equals dreams and dreams he doesn't need. Not anymore.

For now he is content with having her sprawled across his bare chest, their hearts almost beating in sync, while he just watches her rest. She looks so innocent with her eyes closed and her slightly parted lips, like all the sorrows of her life have been lifted off her, turning her back into a little girl. He can't believe this is the same woman that chops up people and grinds them to pie-filling by day. His mood darkens again. He knows she does it because she loves him. He also knows that it would be best for her if he left again. Maybe even at this very moment. All he'd have to do is carefully roll over so she's lying on her back, her sleep would certainly not be disturbed. Then he could roll out of bed, gather his clothing from the floor and cross the room until he reaches the door. There it would get a tad trickier, for the damn thing made one hell of a noise if opened too quickly and even more noise when opened slowly. He's sure that he would make it outside somehow, though, and then the rest would be easy. Leave the house. Leave Fleet Street. Leave town. … Leave her.

The last part is the main reason he stays wrapped up in her sheets, even tightens his arms around her the tiniest bit. He can't leave her. There's just too many things he still needs her for. The judge, for example. If he leaves, he'll never get his revenge, although he has to admit that his quest to avenge his late wife's death is not the most important thing in his life anymore since he's learned that his Lucy is actually still alive.

Yes, the little baker accidentally spilled this little secret of hers. At first he'd been furious, bellowing curses at his landlady while hurling objects at her. Then he had calmed somewhat and stormed out to search for the beggar woman who supposedly was his wife. For hours he'd wandered through the streets, looking in the filthiest places. Eventually he found her by Judge Turpin's house and mentally kicked himself for not thinking of starting his search there in the first place. She just sat there on the ground wailing, rocking back and forth. He approached her slowly, cautiously, and crouched down next to her. When she noticed him she stopped wailing and instead started chanting in a raw, shrieking voice he did not recognize as hers.

"Alms, alms… for a miserable woman…"

Her eyes still take his breath away. Her beauty may have been hidden under a layer of dirt and insanity but to him it's still there, radiating off her like warmth from a fire. He wants to embrace her, kiss her, never let her go again but when he reaches out she shrinks away from his touch.

"Lucy…" he says, testing the sound of her name again after all those years. It feels familiar but at the same time so very wrong. The blonde laughs hysterically, throwing her head back and exposing blackened teeth so unlike the snow white ones embedded in his memory. Suddenly she goes completely still, eyes on the window across the street. He follows her gaze to see a slender silhouette with long blond locks of hair. Joanna, he realizes. His daughter. Not once since his return has he thought of going to see her, too consumed by rage and disappointment. Now there he is, merely across the street from her.

"Pretty thing, pretty thing," comments Lucy with a shaking head as if she pities her. And pretty his little girl is, there is no doubt about that. He feels a father's pride well up in his chest while at the same time he is hit by a pang of resignation as he realizes that he can never get to know the girl just as he didn't get to watch her grow up.

The baker moves in his arms then, bringing him out of his reverie and back into the by now sun-flooded bed chamber. For a moment he thinks she has woken up but she just breathes out heavily and drifts off to sleep again. He lets his fingers wander through the mess of auburn hair framing her face and twirls a single curl around his pinky finger while wondering why he's never returned to see Lucy or Joanna again after that day. As hard as he thinks, he simply cannot find an answer. What worries him more than that is the fact that now that he knows she's alright, he can't bring himself to miss her. A part of him – the Benjamin-part – will always love her, that much he knows, but that's just not who he is anymore, especially not while he's sharing a bed with his accomplice in crime.

The longer he lets himself ponder over their little business, the clearer it becomes to him that the initial motive of their collaboration has changed more than he's ready to admit. Yes, he keeps brooding in his barber's chair at some nights, gaze empty, glistening razor in hand, but since he's started his late night visits downstairs even those times of nothing but vicious revenge-plotting have become rare. In fact, now that he thinks about it, the primary purpose of his daily 'shaves' is to provide enough material for the baker to work with.

That doesn't sound selfish now, does it?

He shakes his head in confusion and disbelief, for Sweeney Todd cared about no one but himself. Generosity had been Benjamin's greatest weakness, he won't have history repeating itself again now. From now on he will try and get back to his original plan and stick to it without further distractions. Apparently the nod of his head which accompanies his decision is a little bit too fierce.

"Wot time's it, love?" the baker's voice is still thick with sleep. He doesn't answer her and so she sits up and he growls inwardly at the loss of contact. When her eyes find the clock on the wall they go wide with shock and she almost jumps out of bed.
"Bloody 'eavens, why haven't ya woken me, Mr. T?!" she cries as she rushes around the room to find appropriate clothing. He hopes she doesn't see his smirk, because he actually enjoys the way she is now, dressed in merely a transparent night-gown. When he realizes he starts getting distracted again he growls and this time audibly. The baker stops her frantic search and looks at him with an expression of concern.
"You've been thinkin' again, hav'n't you?" It is the third question this morning and he hates the fact that she sees right through him even though it seemed like she had other things on her mind until now. To avoid conversation he shakes his head and moves out of bed so he can turn his back on her. She's so quiet, for a moment he believes she has left the room but suddenly he feels her petite fingers caress his shoulder. Involuntarily he leans into the touch.
"Don't do it," she whispers, "Don' shut me out again."

He swallows once, desperately trying to keep his calm appearance up while inside him there's a battle of emotions taking place. He doesn't know what it is exactly that brought the sudden change but somehow he's so tired of fighting everything because there is just no point to it. Killing the judge won't give him back the fifteen years lost. It won't make Lucy sane again either.

So why bother?

He turns around so suddenly, the baker shrinks back in surprise but he's quick to pull her close again. Slowly he starts backing her up against a wall, placing kisses on her neck. He feels her heart beat fast against his chest and he isn't sure whether it's from excitement or fear.

"Let's leave together," he murmurs hoarsely when his lips are at her ear. At first the baker hums contently but then goes stiff and pushes him away so she can look him in the yes.

"Wot?"

"You heard me, Eleanor. What's holding us here? Don't tell me you would stay just for your shop. I know you want to live somewhere by the sea and I can certainly think of worse places to live by, so why shouldn't we leave right at this moment?"
Her eyes go big as saucers while the hushed words flow out of his mouth in a way so unlike him it startles himself and her mouth opens and closes again but she can't seem to find her voice.

"Why?" she finally asks bluntly, causing him to frown. He has no precise answer to that. Because enough time has been wasted? Because he has accepted his fate at last? Then he remembers the words she said to him quite a while ago and smiles.

"We could have a life together… us two," he breathes, trailing his finger along her sides, her ribcage, her neck. "Maybe not like I remember…" he kisses her neck, "…maybe not like you imagined it…"

"But we could work," she finishes for him. He takes this as agreement to his suggestion and wants to bring his lips down on hers, but she turns away. "If this is some kind of game to you, I don' think it funny."

He understands where her skepticism comes from, nonetheless it annoys him that she doesn't see that he's had an epiphany just a few moments ago.
"This is no game. It never was."

She seems to consider his words, searching his eyes for even the slightest hint of a lie. When she doesn't find any she visibly relaxes. "So… wher're we headed?"

He laughs. "Towards freedom, my love."

Finally even the last doubts fall off her and her face lights up and he knows she's done asking questions. To make sure of that he pins her against the wall again and closes the gap between them.

Life is for the alive. And alive they are.

So... Hate it? Love? Wanna throw me into an oven? Please review:)

I apologize for any major mistakes, it's about 1a.m. and I just wanted to post this straight away ^^