Hey! So look, I ain't dead! Yay!

So I have been thinking of making some Akasuki-centric fairy tails. This one is based off of little red riding hood (if you can't tell because I barely referenced the original story) I might make some more, I wanted to make one about Kakuzu's early life, and maybe one about Zetsu, but I will decide depending on reviews and really if I get any inspiration.

I will be working on "Childhood Memories" and "Heaven Sent Hell Bound" next, I don't know which first but I am more prone to working on "Childhood Memories".

Warning: Gore, swearing, death... it's Hidan, so really just take a guess. Kakuhida if you really want it to be, but that wasn't the intention.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I wish I was that good at drawing.

Mother always read me fairy tails when I was little, and it was never the watered down Disney bullshit, she would read me the originals. I remember loving those stories more then the kiddy versions.

"Mom, you aren't telling it right." I would tell her. "I read that story in school, the woodsman saved her and the grandmother."

But my mother would shake her head. "I am sorry honey, but in the real story there was no woodsman, the wolf eats the grandmother and the little girl. The end." She snapped the book shut, bringing an end to my arguments. She placed the book on my bed and kissed the top of my head. "Good night sweetheart." She would always sound bitter whenever she had to touch me, at the time I had been too young to understand.

I would lie awake in bed, hugging the book to my chest and thinking about that night's story. My childish mind decided that I was happy that the wolf hadn't died, he was just hungry, it wasn't his fault that the grandmother and the girl had been stupid.

"MOTHERFUCKINGBITCHFACE!" I screamed, throwing my backpack into the grass. I wiggled out of the stupid red hoddie that my mother always liked to shove me into before I left the house. I hated the thing, I rather have gone in nothing at all, but I would never get away with that.

Kakuzu didn't even move, keeping his head down, pretending that he was asleep. He was used to my outbursts, but I still couldn't get over his clear disinterest in everything I ever said.

"Kuzu, time to wake up." I chimed in a sing-song voice. I could hear him growl as he turned away from me, which meant that he was awake, and not in the mood for my shit, but it didn't matter. I jumped onto his back, lying across him horizontally. He turned his head toward mine, baring his teeth in his usual greeting. I couldn't help but smile at that face. "Good afternoon to you too, asshole."

He stood up, letting my body roll off into the grass as he found a new place to sit. I splayed myself out in the ground, admiring him as he walked. I had always believed that Kakuzu was amazing. The way his muscles rippled when he walked, the scars throughout his body, those cold angry green eyes, the chocolate colored fur, they were all things that made him interesting. He was both a monster of a wolf, and the best friend I had ever had.

What always interested me were his off colored spots. He had a grouping of white-ish splotches on his back, a black tail, and black socks that stopped around his knees. And on the days that he willingly let me touch him I would be able to feel his rabbit-soft fur. He didn't allow it often.

Every day at the same time we would meet in a clearing in between my mother and my grandmother's houses. The place isn't very special on it's own, but it is very precious to me. It was my- no, our place.

The oaks are tall, and allow only small amounts of sunlight to get through, good for sunbathing, or sitting in the shade. The grass is tall, it reaches up to my knees and tickles my feet, but it is soft and bouncy to lie on, some days I never want to get up. Dandelions were everywhere, they had long ago invaded the clearing, and I was never in any real hurry to get rid of them. I always thought that the fuzzy yellow tops were cute, and I loved running through them when they were white and fluffy.

It was early spring, the grass was still damp with the morning dew, and the dandelions had yet to show themselves. The sun was peaking though the clouds, sending soft warm rays into the clearing; Kakuzu was now basking in one.

I am really not quite sure how it started, just that one day he was there. I didn't start talking to him right away of course, but we did kind of coexist for a very long time.

In that time I had avoided him, he had his end of the clearing, and I had mine, like it was an unspoken rule. We didn't bother with each other.

It was the first time my mother raised her hand to me. I was only eight at the time, and I had said 'fuck'. I had heard talk of parents hitting their children when they swore, but what I received was not the same.

I remember crying, a lot, as I ran away, my body was covered in bruises, and my lip was puffy and bleeding. I don't remember why I did it, but the moment I saw him I ran to him, and buried my face in his warm pelt. I remember how soft his fur was, how he didn't move away from me, only watched as I cried. I remember how when I had fallen asleep, after I don't know how many hours of crying, that he didn't leave.

The entire time he stayed where he was, not moving to comfort me, but not moving away, those green eyes watching me.

After that day we were no longer strangers, at least not to me.

That was also the day that I gave him a name. I was the rook, so he was the bishop.

Hidan and Kakuzu, to this day hearing it makes me smile.

"That two-faced bitch hit me again. I didn't do shit this time!" I showed off my black eye proudly, like it was a battle scar.

Kakuzu was less than impressed, but that isn't unusual. He scratched behind his ear, flaunting the scar along his cheek where a hunter had caught him. I knew that my own wounds were rather mediocre compared to his, but I was too proud to ever admit that I might be jealous of his scars.

"Oi, fuck you! I don't start fights with other wolves all the fuckin' time, Kuzu." He turned his rump to me, but I knew that he was still listening, he was always listening. From the way he was sitting I could see the four white spots on his back, they were shaped funny and had a bunch of odd markings on the inside, and if you squint they look like faces. I thought that they were kind of cute, but whenever I told him he would huff and look at me like I was stupid.

"C'mon, I didn't do anythin' to deserve this shit!"

He turned around to give me one of his looks, it was his "Don't lie, we both know that you are a dumbass who gets in trouble all the time" Of course he was right, and that was what pissed me off.

"Ya know what? Eat a dick! I don't need your shitty ass attitude!" That was a lie and we both knew it. Kakuzu was the only thing that I actually did need.

I marched over to him and plopped down in the soft crass, but I did not touch, we had rules, I only touched when I needed, and that was the only time that Kakuzu would allow it.

I held no illusions of Kakuzu being tame, or harmless, I knew that he was deadly, and that was part of what made him beautiful. Each of his scars had a story, and I often found myself making them up and telling him, he would look bored, but his chest would puff out ever so slightly, which made me think that maybe he enjoyed my storied about his life or death battles.

I pointed to the scar on his snout. "I got it today." He only gave me a doubtful look, but let me continue. "Ya fought with the alpha in your pack and he wounded you, but you killed him 'nd ate his heart, but the rest of the pack pushed ya out cause you were way too awesome for them to handle, so ya went all lone wolf and shit!" After that I felt the need to reenact the fictional battle, complete with growling and a fake crowd cheering in the end.

After a while he walked away like he always did when I became too annoying or boring, but the next day he would be back, in the exact same spot, and we would be doing the exact same thing.

Our days never changed.

I stumbled into the clearing, my heart beating wildly, blood dripping past my finger tips.

Today the abuse had crossed the line. My mother had been drunk; she had screamed that I looked just like my father and lunged at me with a knife. My arm was bleeding profusely, and had long ago gone numb.

I had run to my grandmother's for help, I had wanted her to tell me that I would be safe now, that I could stay with her. I wanted to sit by the fire and eat cookies, my grandmother playing with my hair…

I saw the lights on in her house. I pounded on the door, screaming and crying, I was there for a good hour, til everything hurt too much for me to keep going. My throat hurt, my body felt numb, and my heart ached,

I didn't know how I got there, but when I looked up again I found that I had wandered back to the clearing. Sitting there like always was Kakuzu, my feet carried me forward, faster and faster till I just fell at his side and buried my face into his fur.

The tears flowed freely, it was the first time I had cried since all those years ago when the abuse had first started

"Why do they hate me? I didn't do shit!" I sobbed into his fur, my eyes drifted up, expecting his usual look of disapproval, but this time he snarled at me, his teeth bared, ears flat against his skull, hackles raised.

"W-what the fuck!" I jumped up and away from him; I didn't feel fear, but anger. "What? Do you suddenly hate me too? Is that it?" The anger replaced my sadness, yelling replaced tears.

"WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE THAT I EVER FUCKIN' CARED FOR FUCKIN' HATES ME?" He didn't answer, and the truth slowly dawned on me.

"You…you… are just a wolf…" I could feel my little world starting to close in on me.

In the six years that I had known him Kakuzu had never answered me, I had wasted all my time talking to, and caring about an animal that would never care about me. At most I was an obnoxious pup that he humored. I had never been loved or cared for. Mother hated me, Grandmother ignored me, and Kakuzu… Kakuzu never cared to begin with.

He slowly backed out of the clearing, growling at me and refusing to turn his back on me, as if I was an enemy.

When he was finally gone I could feel something deep inside breaking. I hadn't realized it, but his betrayal had hurt me more than anyone else's. I had trusted him.

I spent the night in the clearing, collapsed in Kakuzu's spot, I tried to say that I was doing it out of spite, but in all truths, I missed the days that we would just sunbathe together.

I was stupid. I should have known. He had been a wild animal, he still was one, it had only been me, pushing my own feelings onto an creature that couldn't talk. I closed my eyes and wondered, all those times that we had argued, was that just me talking to myself? Those looks that I had labeled and had been so sure that I understood, were they really just me making shit up?

… was I insane?

All that time I had just held the delusion that I was special to him. The only other creature that he would let near. But was I?

Whenever I got too close I would get bitten, or growled at. Sometimes he would let me lie with him, but was that just an old wolf not wanting to deal with a pest.

I had always told myself that we were a pack of two, but as I stared up at the sky I wondered if it had all just been in my head.

The sunlight the next morning was harsh and yet so cold; it brought me no warmth.

I forced myself to move, walking slowly back to my home, hoping that my mother had sobered in the night. My body felt numb, and the walk seemed to talk forever. The front door wouldn't open for me, so I just walked to the back, where I knew that the dilapidated screen door would be unlocked. I didn't notice the twisted metal, and ripped mesh, or the way door hung open, our house had always been a piece of shit, I had learned to block out things like that.

"'m home ya heartless bitch!" I was too tired to pretend that I actually cared anymore. I hated her, I hated everything.

I waited for a response, an irritated click of the tongue, a well placed sigh, but the house was quiet. My eyebrows knit together, perhaps she was out but for some reason. But still, I felt nervous.

M footsteps were eerily silent as I walked through the place that I had called home for most of my life. The only thing I could hear was an low whooshing sound, as if I had placed my ear to a sea shell. I searched the house slowly, working my way around and avoiding the kitchen. Whenever I wanted to head in that direction my stomach would churn as if telling me 'not yet'.

The living room looked as it always did, tacky wallpaper, uncomfortable chairs that sink too low when you sit in them, and the ugly yellowing couch haphazardly shoved against the wall. Slouched over the couch was a dark form that I guessed was my mother, perhaps she passed out after boozing all night. I nudged her with my foot but she didn't move. "Hey, bitch. Wake up, 'm home." I couldn't even catch the rise and fall of her chest that would indicate breathing.

We sat there in silence as I let my eyes adjust to the dim lighting, a soft dripping noise echoing throughout the room, like someone had left the tap on. I stepped closer but froze when I strode into a puddle of semi-warm liquid. It was a dull sensation that my mind barely registered, like I was feeling it through a sheet of plastic. It was only now that I was assaulted with the thick smell of blood, it was so heavy that I could practically taste it.

I wiggled my toes, letting the lukewarm liquid seep through them, trying to absorb as much of the warmth as I could, my body felt cold and numb. A twisted smile spread across my face, laughter escaping in small broken snatches. Looking at her closer I could see that she had a long gash along her abdomen, her entrails strewn across the floor, blood staining almost everything within reach. I didn't know how I had been so blind, I hadn't seen the dark patches of blood on the walls, the torn wallpaper, or even the broken coffee table.

"Tch, now look, you've made a huge mess of the living room." I kicked her chest, frowning when I didn't get the satisfying crack of bones. I kicked a few more times for good measure. "You would always do sumthin' like this to me whenever I made a mess!" I entertained the idea of drinking her blood, but decided that I didn't want to know what drunk bitch tasted like. The laughter resurfaced, a high pitched cackle that I could not stop.

It crossed my mind that there was something very wrong with this whole situation. Shouldn't I be crying? Shouldn't I be scared? Not standing in my own mother's blood and laughing. I tried to feel bad for her, but all that I felt was relief. It was as if a stone had been lifted from my heart.

I left the carnage behind, following my instincts into the hall. I realized only too soon that I had not left all of the gore in the living room. The once white walls were painted red, chunks of torn flesh littered the ground. Slumped against the wall was a marred carcass, I couldn't even make out what the face once looked like. I didn't bother looking at the second body too much, I had a good guess of who it was, and honestly didn't care; the old bitch had needed to die sometime.

The hall ended in a junction between the kitchen and the dining room. I turned into the kitchen and stopped in my tracks. The scene before me was somehow more disgusting than the ones in the living room and the hall. It wasn't that it was more gruesome that the other two, more like it had been tainted.

The two others were unspoiled crime scenes, slaughtered and then left to rot, but not this. Blood was everywhere, on the counters, on the floor, even on the refrigerator. It looked as if either the victim or the murderer had been covered in blood, and then decided to wipe it on every available surface. However, there seemed to be no body in sight.

Even stranger was that it looked like someone had tried to clean up the scene. A bucket of soapy water lay forgotten in the corner, barely any of the floor had been scrubbed, and the water had long since turned red. Soiled paper towels cluttered the garbage, and the light blue dish towel that had hung from the oven since as far back as I could remember was now almost black and dripping from the vital fluids that it was still soaked with.

Leading out of the kitchen were drag marks, which I followed curiously. They led through a secondary hall, down a flight of stairs and into the basement that doubled as my bedroom. I slowed as I got closer to the bottom, for the first time I actually felt nervous of what I would find, but I wanted to know who the third body was. We didn't know many people and didn't often get visitors, so the thought of there being a third person bothered me.

The stairs curved toward the base, obscuring the room beyond. I stood near the bottom of the stairs, straining my ears for any sign of life beyond my line of sight. I could hear labored breathing coming from the room, but it sounded like there was one person, at least only one that was still alive.

I gathered my courage and stepped into the room, but what I saw was not what I was expecting. Kakuzu was lying on my bed, my grandmother's gown was stretched over his back like some sort of macabre costume. I supposed that it had ripped when he attacked her and it got stuck on him. His fur was matted with blood; a deep gash along his shoulder hemorrhaging the precious fluid. Those once vibrant green eyes now looked dull and tired. It was only now that I realized just how old he was, most wolves lived up to the age of 8, and I had known him for 6 years, God only knows how old he was before that. I knew that he was an old wolf but somehow this still came to me as a surprise.

Some part of me wanted to laugh, because this scene just seemed to make him think about an old story that his mother used to read to him.

"Grandmother, what big ears you have." I called out teasingly. He looked up at me slowly and snorted as if dismissing the comment. He pawed lightly at a pile of dirty clothes next to him, and shifted his weight, obscuring it from my view.

"Why grandmother, what big eyes you have." I tried again, hoping to get more of a reaction. When he only turned away from me I frowned.

"Why grandmother, what a big nose you have." He looked back at me, and I expected a look of boredom, or anger. I didn't expect the loneliness that his eyes held.

I sat on the bed, momentarily bothered by the lack of bounce, what good was a bed if it didn't bounce? I shook that thought away and looked down at Kakuzu.

"So… ya killed 'em huh?" I reached out to scratch between his ears but he growled, and leaned away from my touch. "…Yanno… Sometimes I actually think that I understand ya… or maybe I think that you understand me… then ya do things that make me question it. What the fuck do ya want from me?" He didn't answer, not like I expected him to.

"Fuck Kuzu, I know ya understand me, there's no reason you would've done this if ya didn't!" He huffed, but I had a feeling that he was listening. "You saw my arm and got pissed didn't you!" I couldn't stop the hopeful feeling that rose in my chest. I lifted my arm to show him but stopped when I looked at it. The cut was still open, and the blood was still wet and sticky, my eyebrows knit together as I tried to understand it. The cut was rather deep, so I never really expected it to close on its own, but the blood should have dried up long ago. I looked over at Kakuzu, who had his eyes averted.

"Kakuzu… you know why 'm still bleeding, don't ya?" I wasn't entirely sure why I suspected him, but I couldn't stop the gut feeling I had. "Kakuzu-" I was cut off when he suddenly stood up, and stepped onto the other side of what I thought was a pile of dirty clothes at first. He pushed the pile with his nose, causing to fall over limply. What I saw would have made my heart stop-

-if I still had one.

I had stopped thinking about the third body. It had been pushed to the back of my mind the moment I had seen Kakuzu. I didn't think about how I had been unable to touch anything. I didn't wonder why I couldn't hear my heart beating. I didn't question why I never left any footprints when I had walked through the blood. The bed didn't bounce, the door knob didn't turn, my mother's ribs did not crack, it was as if I hadn't even passed through.

Lying on the bed was the third body. His jeans were covered in grass stains from spending all of his time outside, he wore a red hoodie that looked like it was never used because he always took it off as soon as he could. The left arm of the hoodie had been ripped off, it was level with the deep gash in the skin. The boy's normally white hair was stained dark brown and clumped together from blood. I swallowed, raising my hand to my neck, touching a huge slit that matched the boy's.

Memories of last night flooded my mind. I remembered how my mother threw me into the fridge, the way the lights danced when I hit my head. She had grabbed a knife, screaming at me, telling me that I looked like the man who left her so many years ago. I screamed back, I was scared, what else could I do? I didn't want to die. She slashed at me, and I dived to the side. She only caught my arm, creating a gouging a big chuck of my arm. I attempted to run, I wanted to get away, but I felt those spindly fingers grasping at my hair, and yanking my head back. I could feel the cold metal of the knife pressing against my throat, and the way the warm liquid trickled down my skin.

My mouth opened and closed uselessly. Kakuzu just rested his head resting on my torso, the sight of that made me frown. I didn't want to be dead. I wanted to be back in the clearing, telling him about my injuries and reenacting pretend battles. I didn't want to sit here and see my only friend guarding my lifeless body.

I closed my eyes. Kakuzu had known, he must have… that was why… that was why he had killed them, that was why he came here. He could see and hear me, he knew what she had done to me. I swallowed, my tongue darting over my dry lips, trying to buy a little time, trying to understand just why he had done what he did.

I smirked at him, trying to slide into my usually smug self. "You kinda like me don't you?" I teased, he shot me a glare that said 'Don't push your luck', his lips pulling back to show his sharp teeth, stained with blood.

I let my smirk fall, my face serious for once. "Hey… if… yanno if ya can… could ya take my body to the clearing. I don't want to rot in this place, I've already spent like 14 years in this hellhole I don't wanna spend my afterlife here too." My vision was beginning to blur, and darken, I was wondering if I was passing on, if there was anything after this. The last thing I saw before it all turned to black was Kakuzu dragging my body out of my childhood bedroom.

"I'm gonna miss ya."

"C'mon asshole!" I hollered at my partner. Kakuzu dragged his feet a little, I knew that he was doing it to piss me off.

"Hidan," he said in that irritatingly calm baritone, "for once I am not in the mood to rush, and you pick this time, over all others, to drag me around."

Fuck him. He always tells me to hurry, he should know how it feels. I walked back to him, stomping my feet purposefully. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist, scrunching up my nose at the difference in our skin colors, the bastard barely showed any skin and he looked like he tanned regularly, I wear next to nothing and I am still pasty white. "'M tellin' ya, this place is fuckin' awesome, so get your ass in gear and hurry!" I tugged his arm, trying to drag him.

"Your idiotic clearing wont run away, I want to take my time." I wasn't looking when his hand suddenly came loose and fell off, landing me on my ass. Just great, this meant that he was in one of those 'I am just not going to bother with your stupidity' moods.

"Jashin, you fuckin' suck! Well you ain't getting' this back!" I stood up, his right arm firmly clasped in my hands. Turing around, I walked quickly, just in case he wanted to swing a punch at me for stealing his arm.

I burst through the trees, into a small clearing that had been taken over by tall grass and dandelions. My lips turned up, as my face broke into a wild grin. I ran across the clearing, arms spread, lungs breathing in the fresh air happily. Kakuzu followed a few minutes later, walking in on me frolicking, quizzical look on his face.

"And what makes this clearing so much more special than every other one we have past?" Kakuzu asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Because I dreamed it."

"You dreamed it." Kakuzu repeated dubiously.

I just nodded, and spread my arms out wide, like any minute I would take off into the sky. "It was a fuckin' awesome dream, I think you would have liked it." I let my body fall back, eyes closed, expecting to fall on the soft grass.

"SON OF A BITCH!" My eyes snapped open, I had not expected the sharp pain that ran up my spine. I rolled over into the grass that didn't stab me in the back. I let out a stream of unintelligible swear words, but Kakuzu ignored me and walked over to the spot where I had been attacked by pointy objects in the grass. Pushing aside the grass he made a quiet 'hm' sound.

I crawled over to inspect the area for myself, rubbing my back and quietly complaining all the way. My eyes widened to the point that I was sure that they would fall out. "What do ya think it is?"

"Bones idiot."

"I fuckin' know they're bones, but of what, asshole."

"Hn." He sifted through the remains, identifying what had died. I could see one of his eyebrows raise, but as to why I had no clue. "One is canine, the other is human, most likely a child." I don't know if he saw the way my eyes lit up, or the wide smile that spread across my face. But I was sure that he noticed when he was tackled and bowled over into the grass. "Hidan what are you doing? Get off me."

"You would be sad if I died wouldn't you?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You'd miss me, admit it." I hung off of him, refusing to let go even though both Kakuzu's remaining hand and threads were trying to push me off.

"I wouldn't. I would dance on your grave."

"You would be all lonely."

I spent the rest of the night nursing several large bruises.

End.

The story originally ended with Hidan dying and then nothing, but I decided to tack on the second part to make it a little happier.

I went through a bunch of endings that I wanted to do, and only this one actually survived, I feel a little bad for not following through with the other endings, but truth be told, I liked this one best. However, since I love my fans, and I am sorry for not updating as much as I should I thought I would tell you some of the ending.

*In several endings Kakuzu eats Hidan, in each ending Hidan's reactions differ

*In one ending Hidan actually gets a hold of a gun and shoots Kakuzu

*In one ending Hidan dies in his house and Kakuzu dies of starvation in the clearing because he was waiting for Hidan

*And in one Hidan comes home to find that his family has been murdered and then you see him years later living with Kakuzu in the woods. (that was a very early version)