Summary: A scene after SG-1 returned from the sabotage mission in Upgrades (Season 4).
Spoilers: Upgrades and a little bit of Divide & Conquer, season 4
Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. This story was written for fun.
Author's Notes: This was written in under 3 hours, after I watched Divide & Conquer this afternoon. I've watch the "shield" scene so many times, always feeling there was so many things to do with that. This popped into my head as I reflected on how and why Sam *knew* that they were lying about their feelings, and therefore, were considered Zatarcs. How Sam came to the conclusion that she and Jack felt the same way and that their feelings, surfaced on each side of the shield, were what they were. I don't know if this makes sense, but that was what caused this fic hehe Let me know what you think!
Feedbacks are always greatly appreciated as well as constructive comments!
Thank you and enjoy!
Houston, we have a problem
By musical-Aven
After the debriefing, where SG-1 had talked about the events on their sabotage mission and the problems they had with the Tok'Ra armbands, Sam had retreated herself in her lab. She still felt the adrenaline rush from the armband and from their mission. But she also felt something else. Like something important had happened on that mission and she couldn't figure out what exactly.
Analysing her feelings, she noticed she still felt the fear from when the two Jaffa turned the corner of the ship and looked at her ready to fire. She really thought she was about to die. In front of Jack, worse of all. She frowned. Why was she so afraid to die in front of the Colonel? After thinking about it, she realized that she didn't want him to see her die because, deep down, she knew he would blame himself. Seeing her die would tear him apart. That thought bothered her.
She had told him to leave her and save himself, but he wouldn't comply. His answer to her asking to leave still resonated in her head. "No!". It sounded scared, so desperate and something else she couldn't pinpoint. And somehow, this scared her the most.
She felt the pang in her gut as she thought about their exchange on the ship. Somewhat familiar, this pain hurt more on a emotional level, than a physical one. She was afraid to understand what this emotion was.
A knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. As she raised her gaze, she found Colonel O'Neill entering her lab.
"Hey." He greeted.
"Hi sir."
He seemed to hesitate when he stood by the table between them. He looked disturbed by something.
"Are you okay, sir?"
He looked at her, checking his emotions.
"Yeah. Hammond asked me to tell you that the Tok'Ra just left and that they still haven't heard from your dad."
Sam knew it wasn't really the reason he had come to see her, but she was still glad to see him. Somehow, she craved his presence and he looked like he craved hers too. She frowned again. Why were they feeling this way? Sure, she was always glad to be with him in a room, but this kind of attraction was usually controlled...so what changed? Jack didn't seem to understand their reactions either.
"Okay, thanks for the information, sir."
Jack nodded. Looking at her one last time, he moved towards the door to make his exit. But Sam had to know.
"Sir?"
He turned.
"What...sir, what happened on that ship?" she asked quietly.
He came back and bent over the table to rest on his elbow with a thoughtful look.
"I'm...I'm not sure." He knew what she was referring to.
But neither of them really understood what it meant. They both took a moment to think about it.
"If...If the shield wouldn't have failed after the explosion...would you have left me, sir?" she asked.
They both knew that the rational answer to that question was "yes". He had to. It was the logical thing to do, leave her and save at least himself. Militarily speaking, he should have left her.
Jack looked at Sam for a long time before answering her.
"No." He spoke softly. "I wouldn't...I couldn't."
Sam closed her eyes and sighed. She felt that feeling in her stomach return, but deep sadness and hurt accompanied it. She looked at Jack in the darkness of her lab. His face was close and he looked sorry for what he had just admitted. He couldn't. They both knew this was becoming a problem for them. Still with a soft voice, Sam spoke:
"You'd have to." She told him.
Jack looked at her for a moment. They both knew this could not affect their jobs. It just couldn't. So, no more mistake, they couldn't let this affect a mission ever again. Jack nodded almost imperceptivity.
"I know."
It hurt. It hurt so much to put all of this aside and not be allowed to think about it. But they had no choice. Jack stood up, murmured a "See you later, Carter" before leaving her alone, surrounded by the gentle hum of machines and technology.
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Copyright musical-Aven 2010
