This is a story that Claire and Mad wrote together on a night where they were eating lots and lots of cheese. Beware, cheeses power is great!
Dr. Lecter: I'm NOT IN IT!
Sarah, Christine, and Clarice: Neither am I!
*group hug*
CS and Mad: Maybe next time guys…
DISCLAIMER: Jareth belongs to Jim Henson Corp. Lestat belongs to Anne Rice. And Erik belongs to Gaston Leroux…
Remember…
CHEESE MADE US DO IT!
Claire and Mad were watching Labyrinth. Claire was staring intently watching the screen while Mad munched on pirates booty.
"Mad, sh! This is my favorite scene," said the annoyed writer before shoving a handful of baked lays in her mouth and chewing loudly.
On the screen, Jareth walked up to Sarah and asked, "How are you enjoying my Labyrinth?"
"Now," said Claire, "I would have grabbed his balls and said 'How are you enjoying my hand' squeeze." She laughed evilly.
"I wonder what your basis for comparison is?" mocked Jareth on the screen.
"I have none," chuckled Mad, mimicking Sarah. "I'm a virgin, as in touched for the very first time, but," she batted her eyes. "I'm sure you could help me with that."
They dissolved into giggles. Suddenly, Claire paused the movie and said, "Now look at where his hands are," she said pointing to where his hand was hovering over his package. "Now, look at his face." Jareth's face was kind of screwed up in a way that looked… well… bad.
"Sarah," said Mad in a bad impression of Jareth. "Could you help me with my present?"
"Y'know," said Claire, "The RED DEATH would kick in the masquerade, eh?"
Mad didn't answer; she was too busy drooling over Jareth's eyes.
"Hey!" yelled Claire. "You've got your dear Lestat so HANDS OFF!"
"Hmph," sniffed Mad. "Then I'll just wish him off."
She slowly turned to the screen and spoke, "Jareth, I wish you would take Lestat away, right NOW!"
Claire fell back laughing but, unexpectedly, the image of Jareth turned to them. "Your wish is my command," he hissed.
Suddenly, Jareth disappeared from the screen before the lights flickered and went off.
They heard the flapping of an owl and both turned to the glass doors. A barn owl descended from the sky and flew towards them. Unfortunately for Jareth, Mad used Windex and he flew straight into the door.
The girls both grimaced as they watched the bird slowly slip down the glass and fall to the ground. "Oooh that had to hurt."
The owl changed into Jareth and he slowly got up, rubbing his head. He smashed the door.
"Hey, you're gonna pay for that," Mad growled.
"And you're going to pay for my lump," he glared at Mad.
"So you're the foolish girl who made the wish."
"Yeah and you're the hot one that grants the wish," drooled Mad, who had dropped the angry façade.
Claire raised her hand in question, "Um, there's an obvious problem… Lestat is sort of, uh fictional?"
"In your dimension he may be but he is real," he said, looking at Claire for the first time. He smiled hungrily.
Claire noticed where his eyes were. With one hand she tugged up her neckline, with the other she tilted his chin up so that they're eyes met. "Head's a little higher there, hun."
Mad looked like she was about to faint or cry. "Wait, so Lestat is real?"
Jareth turned and eyed the curvy red head with curiosity. "Well, yes."
Mad began to tremble. "And Erik?"
"Holy fadoodle!" screamed Claire. "He's fucakata real! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Jareth raised an elegant eyebrow, "Who?"
"Erik, the PHANTOM," Claire explained.
She grabbed a book from midair. And read, " 'Phantom by Susan Kay', read it."
"I KNOW WHO HE IS!" he angrily grabbed the book from Claire and shoved it down his tights.
Mad suddenly burst out, "I wish Jareth would take Erik away, right now!"
"Your full of wishes today aren't you, girl?" Jareth snapped his fingers, which by the way is very hard to do with gloves on, "Done."
"I have a bright idea!" Claire yelled. "I wish that Jareth would take Mad and I away so that we could be surrounded by hot, single, seductive MEN!"
That's when Claire burst into song, "Bring on the men, and let the fun begin. A little touch of sin, why wait another minute? Step this way, it's time for us to play. We say, we may not pass this way again, so let's waste no more time, BRING ON THE MEN!"
Mad was about to scream, when two men dropped in as the girls' jaws dropped.
Lestat shook his head to clear it. Two seconds ago, he was about to feed. He opened his eyes to see two, bare female feet. He slowly looked up the long legs. He was shocked to find that the female's legs were in pants…that had cows on them. His eyes followed up her body to her low neckline. Her brunette hair covered most of her breasts. He heard an 'Ahem!' which quickly lifted his eyes to her face. Her green-brown eyes had amusement and amazement in them. One of her eyebrows arched as she said, "Enjoying the view, Lestat?"
"Oui Mademoiselle." He said, taking her hand and kissing it. "And you would be?"
"Claire." She replied smoothly.
Mad however, realized that they were in the goblin throne room. And her Lestat was mooning over Claire. And now, she had a very, very aggravated phantom at her feet.
"Quoi?" he asked.
Mad let out a strangled sob and fell to him.
"Erik! I'm sorry! I brought this upon you! Forgive me!"
Erik's confusion was as visible as Jareth's jealousy. He wrenched her away from her ghost.
"You have no reason to love that-" a quick punch from Erik silenced him.
Suddenly, Erik was suspended in midair. He looked around and saw Claire holding her hand up.
"Now boys," she stated calmly. "If we are going to play together we must learn to share."
She helped Mad up and stated, "Erik- you and Lestat has been wished away by Mad," she indicated the sobbing red-head at her side. "to Jareth" She pointed at the recovered Goblin King.
She lowered Erik.
" Yes," Erik said. "But how did you know about us at all?"
"Oh," said Mad. "Well, we know you 'Phantom of the Opera' by Gaston Leroux. And more fondly from 'Phantom' by Susan Kay."
" I don't believe you," said Erik.
" Oh," said Claire, brightening. " I have proof!" Claire ran over to Jareth and reached into his tights.
Everyone but Jareth (who looked quite aroused) and Claire (who was concentrating) looked very confused. Finally, Claire pulled out what she was looking for - the book, Jareth had shoved in there earlier.
"See!" Claire said, pointing to the book, trying to hand it to Erik.
"No, that's okay," he said, "I believe you."
" Hey Claire?" Jareth said.
"Hmm?" she said turning to him.
He grabbed the book and shoved it back into his tights.
"Could you do that again?"
That made Mad smile and wipe a tear away.
"Come what may," she sang "I will love you 'til my dying day!"
Claire smiled, glad to see her menfolk tightly spellbound. She had an outrageous idea that just might work.
What all fictional hunks of every teenage girl's dream didn't know, was that Mad was part siren and Claire was part succubus. They both grinned before singing the cadenza that Christine Daae did in the musical that they worshipped.
All the men swayed as they continued. Lestat was on his knees, Jareth was obviously aroused, and Erik's enchanting eyes were as big as saucers.
(Great) Mad thought ( we just turned our greatest passions into very horny men and we've presented ourselves, virgins, on a silver platter.) She started having doubts when they slowly advanced. She looked at Claire who looked equally doubtful. All three of them looked ready to pounce.
Mad began an escalating cadenza. Claire attempted to follow but could not avail. Mad reached the pinnacle and, once again, burst into tears. She dropped to the floor screaming.
"Why must I die? Would I be more noticed! Than I ever was before? Would the things I've said and done matter anymore?" and sobbed
While the three were distracted, Claire got out a baseball bat, and whacked Lestat over the head.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Hey! That's my line!" Erik cried.
"Not anymore, sweetcheeks!" She said, whacking him over the head.
She turned to whack Jareth, when he pulled her into his embrace.
"I don't think so luv." He said huskily before the pair disappeared.
Mad fell into Lestat and Erik's limp arms and in despair hit a piercingly loud note, and broke every piece of glass in the castle. The chandelier over her head shattered and whacked her over the head, knocking her unconscious.
To be continued (bum bum buuuuuuuum!)…
Dr. Lecter: I'm NOT IN IT!
Sarah, Christine, and Clarice: Neither am I!
*group hug*
CS and Mad: Maybe next time guys…
DISCLAIMER: Jareth belongs to Jim Henson Corp. Lestat belongs to Anne Rice. And Erik belongs to Gaston Leroux…
Remember…
CHEESE MADE US DO IT!
Claire and Mad were watching Labyrinth. Claire was staring intently watching the screen while Mad munched on pirates booty.
"Mad, sh! This is my favorite scene," said the annoyed writer before shoving a handful of baked lays in her mouth and chewing loudly.
On the screen, Jareth walked up to Sarah and asked, "How are you enjoying my Labyrinth?"
"Now," said Claire, "I would have grabbed his balls and said 'How are you enjoying my hand' squeeze." She laughed evilly.
"I wonder what your basis for comparison is?" mocked Jareth on the screen.
"I have none," chuckled Mad, mimicking Sarah. "I'm a virgin, as in touched for the very first time, but," she batted her eyes. "I'm sure you could help me with that."
They dissolved into giggles. Suddenly, Claire paused the movie and said, "Now look at where his hands are," she said pointing to where his hand was hovering over his package. "Now, look at his face." Jareth's face was kind of screwed up in a way that looked… well… bad.
"Sarah," said Mad in a bad impression of Jareth. "Could you help me with my present?"
"Y'know," said Claire, "The RED DEATH would kick in the masquerade, eh?"
Mad didn't answer; she was too busy drooling over Jareth's eyes.
"Hey!" yelled Claire. "You've got your dear Lestat so HANDS OFF!"
"Hmph," sniffed Mad. "Then I'll just wish him off."
She slowly turned to the screen and spoke, "Jareth, I wish you would take Lestat away, right NOW!"
Claire fell back laughing but, unexpectedly, the image of Jareth turned to them. "Your wish is my command," he hissed.
Suddenly, Jareth disappeared from the screen before the lights flickered and went off.
They heard the flapping of an owl and both turned to the glass doors. A barn owl descended from the sky and flew towards them. Unfortunately for Jareth, Mad used Windex and he flew straight into the door.
The girls both grimaced as they watched the bird slowly slip down the glass and fall to the ground. "Oooh that had to hurt."
The owl changed into Jareth and he slowly got up, rubbing his head. He smashed the door.
"Hey, you're gonna pay for that," Mad growled.
"And you're going to pay for my lump," he glared at Mad.
"So you're the foolish girl who made the wish."
"Yeah and you're the hot one that grants the wish," drooled Mad, who had dropped the angry façade.
Claire raised her hand in question, "Um, there's an obvious problem… Lestat is sort of, uh fictional?"
"In your dimension he may be but he is real," he said, looking at Claire for the first time. He smiled hungrily.
Claire noticed where his eyes were. With one hand she tugged up her neckline, with the other she tilted his chin up so that they're eyes met. "Head's a little higher there, hun."
Mad looked like she was about to faint or cry. "Wait, so Lestat is real?"
Jareth turned and eyed the curvy red head with curiosity. "Well, yes."
Mad began to tremble. "And Erik?"
"Holy fadoodle!" screamed Claire. "He's fucakata real! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Jareth raised an elegant eyebrow, "Who?"
"Erik, the PHANTOM," Claire explained.
She grabbed a book from midair. And read, " 'Phantom by Susan Kay', read it."
"I KNOW WHO HE IS!" he angrily grabbed the book from Claire and shoved it down his tights.
Mad suddenly burst out, "I wish Jareth would take Erik away, right now!"
"Your full of wishes today aren't you, girl?" Jareth snapped his fingers, which by the way is very hard to do with gloves on, "Done."
"I have a bright idea!" Claire yelled. "I wish that Jareth would take Mad and I away so that we could be surrounded by hot, single, seductive MEN!"
That's when Claire burst into song, "Bring on the men, and let the fun begin. A little touch of sin, why wait another minute? Step this way, it's time for us to play. We say, we may not pass this way again, so let's waste no more time, BRING ON THE MEN!"
Mad was about to scream, when two men dropped in as the girls' jaws dropped.
Lestat shook his head to clear it. Two seconds ago, he was about to feed. He opened his eyes to see two, bare female feet. He slowly looked up the long legs. He was shocked to find that the female's legs were in pants…that had cows on them. His eyes followed up her body to her low neckline. Her brunette hair covered most of her breasts. He heard an 'Ahem!' which quickly lifted his eyes to her face. Her green-brown eyes had amusement and amazement in them. One of her eyebrows arched as she said, "Enjoying the view, Lestat?"
"Oui Mademoiselle." He said, taking her hand and kissing it. "And you would be?"
"Claire." She replied smoothly.
Mad however, realized that they were in the goblin throne room. And her Lestat was mooning over Claire. And now, she had a very, very aggravated phantom at her feet.
"Quoi?" he asked.
Mad let out a strangled sob and fell to him.
"Erik! I'm sorry! I brought this upon you! Forgive me!"
Erik's confusion was as visible as Jareth's jealousy. He wrenched her away from her ghost.
"You have no reason to love that-" a quick punch from Erik silenced him.
Suddenly, Erik was suspended in midair. He looked around and saw Claire holding her hand up.
"Now boys," she stated calmly. "If we are going to play together we must learn to share."
She helped Mad up and stated, "Erik- you and Lestat has been wished away by Mad," she indicated the sobbing red-head at her side. "to Jareth" She pointed at the recovered Goblin King.
She lowered Erik.
" Yes," Erik said. "But how did you know about us at all?"
"Oh," said Mad. "Well, we know you 'Phantom of the Opera' by Gaston Leroux. And more fondly from 'Phantom' by Susan Kay."
" I don't believe you," said Erik.
" Oh," said Claire, brightening. " I have proof!" Claire ran over to Jareth and reached into his tights.
Everyone but Jareth (who looked quite aroused) and Claire (who was concentrating) looked very confused. Finally, Claire pulled out what she was looking for - the book, Jareth had shoved in there earlier.
"See!" Claire said, pointing to the book, trying to hand it to Erik.
"No, that's okay," he said, "I believe you."
" Hey Claire?" Jareth said.
"Hmm?" she said turning to him.
He grabbed the book and shoved it back into his tights.
"Could you do that again?"
That made Mad smile and wipe a tear away.
"Come what may," she sang "I will love you 'til my dying day!"
Claire smiled, glad to see her menfolk tightly spellbound. She had an outrageous idea that just might work.
What all fictional hunks of every teenage girl's dream didn't know, was that Mad was part siren and Claire was part succubus. They both grinned before singing the cadenza that Christine Daae did in the musical that they worshipped.
All the men swayed as they continued. Lestat was on his knees, Jareth was obviously aroused, and Erik's enchanting eyes were as big as saucers.
(Great) Mad thought ( we just turned our greatest passions into very horny men and we've presented ourselves, virgins, on a silver platter.) She started having doubts when they slowly advanced. She looked at Claire who looked equally doubtful. All three of them looked ready to pounce.
Mad began an escalating cadenza. Claire attempted to follow but could not avail. Mad reached the pinnacle and, once again, burst into tears. She dropped to the floor screaming.
"Why must I die? Would I be more noticed! Than I ever was before? Would the things I've said and done matter anymore?" and sobbed
While the three were distracted, Claire got out a baseball bat, and whacked Lestat over the head.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Hey! That's my line!" Erik cried.
"Not anymore, sweetcheeks!" She said, whacking him over the head.
She turned to whack Jareth, when he pulled her into his embrace.
"I don't think so luv." He said huskily before the pair disappeared.
Mad fell into Lestat and Erik's limp arms and in despair hit a piercingly loud note, and broke every piece of glass in the castle. The chandelier over her head shattered and whacked her over the head, knocking her unconscious.
To be continued (bum bum buuuuuuuum!)…