Disclaimer: You know the drill people. I don't own a thing.

EPV

I was sitting in my room, staring at the ceiling, completely and utterly bored out of my mind. The sun was ricocheting off of the river outside and onto the roof at which I was staring. It had the affect of a disco ball, and had me completely enthralled. Every so often the patterns would start to look like my Bella.

She was at school and I was stuck here because of my traitorous skin.. I couldn't wait until school was out and my angel could come and save me from this UVA-and-UVB-ray-induced torture.

The light pattern was beggining to take on the shape of Bella's face again. I had to get out of there, I was going insane.

The situation downstairs wasn't any better than mine. Alice was painting her toenails the colors of the rainbow, and Rosalie was attempting to read a magazine upside down, a look of foreign concentration on her face. Emmett was sitting on the couch next to Jasper, who looked asleep (of course I knew better), watching some old western.

I sighed and sat down next to Emmett, forcing myself to watch the shootout taking place on the plasma screen.

"I'm bored," Emmett whined. "Let's go do something."

Rosalie looked at her husband, annoyance written all over her face. "And just what do you propose we do?"

"Anything!" Emmett nearly shouted.

"I know," Jasper said, sarcasm practically leaking from every word. "Let's all beat the shit out of Emmett. It could prove fun."

"Wait!" Alice jumped up from the sofa, her colorful choices of nail polish scattered on the floor. "I have a brilliant upon brilliant idea! Truth or Dare!"

"Brilliant upon brilliant?" Rosalie's annoyance was more apparent than ever. "You've been watching too many chick flicks."

"Let's play!" Emmett sounded like a three-year-old on Christmas morning.

Jasper groaned. "Do we have to? Can't we find some other way to pass the time? Like have sex? It's so much easier than Truth or Dare."

"Excuse me?" The look on Alice's face said it all. Jasper wasn't getting any for a long time.

"Baby, I did'nt mean it like that. I meant sex is more fun, not-"

He was cut off by Emmett's booming laughter. "Dude, shut up. The more you talk the deeper the hole your in is gonna get. And anyway, we can't go have sex and just leave Eddie here. That would be terribly rude of us."

"Thanks for that Emmett." I looked at Jasper, who was on his knees in front of his wife, begging for forgiveness. "I say we play. I'm so bored I could care less if it's lame. I'm in."

"Great!" Alice stepped around Jasper, completely ignoring him, and jumped onto the couch, her legs crossed under her. "Okay, rules. Once you pick truth or dare, you have to stick with it. And once your given a question to answer or a dare, you have to do or answer it, no exceptions. Everyone got it?"

"Yes!"

"Emmett," Rosalie huffed, "try to control your excitement." She turned to Alice. "Fine, I'll play."

"Oh, goody," Jasper said unenthusiastically. He got up and sat on the chair next to Rosalie's. "So, who goes first?"

"I think since it was Alice's idea she should go first." I could already tell this was a bad idea. I could hear some of the dares Emmett was thinking up, and they weren't pretty. At all.

"Okay, Rose. Truth or dare?"

"Ugh. Why did you have to pick me?" She closed her magazine and tossed it to the coffee table. "Truth I guess."

An evil smile spread across Alice's pixie-like face. "Name three of the most embarassing costumes Emmett has ever made you wear."

"Easy," Rosalie faked an uninterested yawn. "Princess what's-her-names costume from one of the star wars movies, a playboy bunny, and a naughty little red riding hood. Don't ask."

The couch started to shake with Emmett's laughter. "Good times, good times." He shook his head. "Hey, where is princess what's-her-names costume anyway?"

"In a trash heap," Rosalie said. "Far, far away. Thank God."

"Damn." Emmett shook his head in false sorrow. "So, who's next?"

"Let's go clockwise," Jasper suggested. "That means Rose is next."

"Fine, Jasper. Truth or dare?"

I'm guessing it was the emotions coming off of Rosalie that caused Jasper to become even paler than normal for a vampire. "Uh...t-truth. No, dare!"

"Ohhh no you don't." Alice was practically bouncing in her seat. "You picked truth first. Man up."

Pure evil radiated from Rosalie's smirk, and I felt truly sorry for Jasper after what I heard coming from her mind. Thank God she had no reason to torture me in such a way. Emmett's teasing was bad enough.

"Oh, poor little Jasper," she cooed. "So tell me..." She examined her fingernails, looking uninterested. "What is your favorite way to make Alice scream?"

This caused Alice to go into a fit of giggles, and completely outrage the speechless Jasper. Unfortunately, his mind wasn't stunned into silence. He was torn between totally ignoring the question, ripping Rose's throat out, and answering just to embarass his now hysterical wife.

"Well," Jasper seemed to have reached his decision and with a smirk on his face continued. "I would have to say, taking her when she's on her hands and knees."

It was Alice's turn to be speechless. It was obvious she hadn't seen this coming.

Emmett was once again roaring with laughter. "Jasper..." He was laughing too hard to form a coherent sentence. "Jasper likes it doggy-style!"

"Apparently, so does Alice!" Rosalie laughed.

"Jasper!" Alice roared. "I can't believe you would tell them that! You are so not getting laid tonight! Or any other night for that matter!"

"Hey," Jasper was immediatly on the defence, "you were laughing about it a minute ago!"

"That's because I didn't think you would actually answer that idiotic question!"

"Hey!" Rosalie shouted. "That was a perfectly good question! Not idiotic at all!"

"Don't worry Rosie." Emmett said. "I agree with you."

"What about me?" I decided I might as well say my piece. "I'm scarred for life! I will forever have to live with the image of Jasper and Alice doing the nasty like a couple of dogs!"

This got responses such as:

"Doing the nasty?"

and, "Dude! You are such a prude!"

"Dammit Jasper! Sometimes you can just be so," it took Alice a second to come up with the right word, she was so angry, "stupid!" And with that she stormed out of the room.

Jasper started to go after her but I stopped him, telling him he should give her a while to cool down, or all he would have for the next year would be his hand.

"Well let's keep playing," Emmett said once Jasper had unwillingly sat back down. "I believe you're next you little prude."

Well two can play at that game. "Alright Emmie. Take your pick. Choose wisely now, Emmie." It took all of .2 seconds after hearing Rosalie's nickname for him for Emmett to look as if he was about to tear my throat out.

"Alright Eddie," he said with a sneer. "I pick dare."

Typical of Emmett. Always being the macho male who always picks dare and never, ever, picks truth. Personally I think it's cowardly. But if I ever even let him think that I thought that, I wouldnt have a throat to breathe with.

"Fine." I had already picked the dare . It was perfect for Emmett. "I dare you to act like the main character of that ridiculous western you were just watching for the next two weeks. Ineverythingyou do. And I mean everything." I gave Rosalie a meaningful glance, seeing as Emmett still had a blank look on his face.

"There is no way in hell Edward!" Rosalie was seething. "You can't force me to do anything! It wasn't my dare!"

"Awww. What's wong Wosy?" Jasper asked. "Too afwaid?" He was clearly enjoying this small revenge.

"I'm not afraid you nimrod. Cowboys don't turn me on. It's that simple."

"So your saying, you and Emmett aren't going to have sex for the next two weeks?" I asked. Rosalie just glared at me.

The whole time poor Emmett had sat on the couch, too stunned to say anything, that is until I mentioned two sex-free weeks. As soon as my words registered in his brain he was crouched in front of me, ready to pounce.

"You're going to regret that little brother."